Are any of you "deadbeat" fathers?

[VAiz4hustlaz]

Do you have a child, or children, who you never see, or straight-up don't give a fuck about? If not you, do you know anyone who does?

If so, how do you or they justify it? Baby moms won't let you see the child? It was just a "jump-off" baby and does not really count as yours?

I'm not trolling here. But, I am really curious as to how fathers who never see or take care of their children think.

 

[LSN]

Divine bait?

 

[sammyjax]

fuck. no.

and you will NOT get any honest responses from deadbeat niggas.

 

[H.A.N]

They will never admit to being a worthless lust filled negro. They will blame the child's mother.

 

[2 ONE 3]

​

 

[H.A.N]

fuck. no.

and you will NOT get any honest responses from deadbeat niggas.

Not from You. I you ain't shit personally off this board. You can lie and fail at man googling.

 

[hanginbals]

I live with my 2.

 

[doggish_098]

flush all my seeds down the toilet dont want any further contact with them after they come out

 

[Devilstrider]

I got one on the way.

 

[justfacts]

I got one on the way.

Congrats and same. 2 with 1 on the way.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2 Beta-5

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

fuck. no.

and you will NOT get any honest responses from deadbeat niggas.

Maybe not. But, they have to feel some way about it, even if it's "I don't give a fuck. I didn't want the child anyway."

Think about it. Is there any source out there that gives the perspective of so-called "deadbeats"?

 

[tuckdog]

fuck. no.

and you will NOT get any honest responses from deadbeat niggas.

Exactly.

 

[tekwehuself]

I have a really close friend, he has two, son is about to turn 17.. daughter 12.


Both mothers have had enough of him. He drinks and smokes and they simply cannot tolerate him anymore, because he talks nothing but shit when he drinks.

He sees me with mine and he interacts with children just fine, but for some reason, he just doesnt fight for his own. He is like, i tried, but the mothers don't want me around.

Really pisses me off man, cause there is so much more he could do. Shit toss them a few dollars at least.

IT is beyond me how you can bring two children into this world and leave it up to other men to be the father in their lives.

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

Divine bait?

Did Divine ever give a reason? I know he constantly got roasted for not paying child support, but did he ever talk about his situation?

 

[Devilstrider]

Congrats and same. 2 with 1 on the way.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2 Beta-5

Thanks fam. I'm 32 and this is my first.

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

I have a really close friend, he has two, son is about to turn 17.. daughter 12.

Both mothers have had enough of him. He drinks and smokes and they simply cannot tolerate him anymore, because he talks nothing but shit when he drinks.

He sees me with mine and he interacts with children just fine, but for some reason, he just doesnt fight for his own. He is like, i tried, but the mothers don't want me around.

Really pisses me off man, cause there is so much more he could do. Shit toss them a few dollars at least.

IT is beyond me how you can bring two children into this world and leave it up to other men to be the father in their lives.

So he's an alcoholic basically. Do you think that's the real reason why? He doesn't want his kids to see him as a "drunk" or something?

 

[DV8ed]

I have 1. I pay support and get regular visitation, but because of the "mother's" stupidity in insisting that visitation orders don't apply to her, I'm fighting to get custody changed in my favor.

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

I have 1. I pay support and get regular visitation, but because of the "mother's" stupidity in insisting that visitation orders don't apply to her, I'm fighting to get custody changed in my favor.

You certainly cannot be labeled a deadbeat, unless your situation is the norm for deadbeats. I'm mainly curious abou the ones who could see their kids but choose not to.

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

Jailing a deadbeat dad amounts to debtor’s prison?
5:00 pm January 30, 2012, by jgalloway

This one’s likely to light up the blogosphere. From the Associated Press:

State attorneys are appealing a judge’s order that favored five fathers who are targeting Georgia’s practice of jailing parents who don’t pay child support.

The Georgia Attorney General’s office on Monday filed a motion that said there’s an “epidemic” of parents who fail to pay their child support. It said the men were jailed because of the “consequences of their own poor decision-making.”

The five fathers claim in the lawsuit that jailing parents who can’t afford to pay child support creates a modern day debtor’s prison. They want to force Georgia to provide poor defendants with attorneys at child support hearings.

The men recently won a court battle when a judge allowed thousands of other parents who were imprisoned for failing to pay the child support join their lawsuit.

My AJC colleague Bill Rankin has some excellent background on the situation, which includes this:

Emotions run extraordinarily high in cases involving custody and support; angry ex-spouses often are all too happy to see the other parent jailed, and judges, weary of excuses from deadbeats, often oblige them.

In Georgia, after finding a parent in contempt, judges set a “purge fee,” which is typically below the amount of child support that is owed. If the parent can pay the purge fee, he or she can avoid being sent to jail.

Over the past decade, 3,612 people — each serving an average of 127 days — were incarcerated in Gwinnett County for failing to pay child support, according to jail records.

“We’ve seen some who’ve been jailed come up with $15,000 to $20,000 in a couple of days,” Sheriff Butch Conway said. “Some will languish for months and not be able to come up with $100 to $200. Some can’t pay it but, sadly, I think some do have the money but just don’t want to pay.”

http://blogs.ajc.com/political-insi...ing-a-deadbeat-dad-amounts-to-debtors-prison/

 

[tekwehuself]

So he's an alcoholic basically. Do you think that's the real reason why? He doesn't want his kids to see him as a "drunk" or something?

No I don't think thats the reason at all. Thats what puzzles me. He calls them all the time drunk talking shit in their ears, but he only reaches out to them and feels remorse when hes drunk... so i dont think he is concerned with what they think of him in that state.

As soon as he is sober, hes good. Not a second thought. Mind you, his son lives 10 minutes away from him.

I take it really personal and try to look out for them myself out my own pocket when i can, but its pathetic. How can you go to bed, not knowing how or if your own kids have eaten?

I have tried to understand what would make a man think like that, but to this day, I can't figure it out.

 

[tekwehuself]

Have any of you seen Reel Steel? I thought that story was a really good movie that explored that topic.

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

No I don't think thats the reason at all. Thats what puzzles me. He calls them all the time drunk talking shit in there ears, but he only reaches out to them and feels remorse when hes drunk... so i dont think he is concerned with that they think of him in that state.

As soon as he is sober, hes good. Not a second thought. Midn you, his son lives 10 minutes away from him.

I take it really personal and try to look out for them myself out my own pocket when i can, but its pathetic. How can you go to bed, not knowing how or if your own kids have eaten?

I have tried to understand what would make a man think like that, but to this day, I can't figure it out.

Me neither, which is why I created this thread.

I guess I should ask my own brother. He has a 15 year-old daughter who he's basically become a deadbeat father to, although I was unaware of how much of a deadbeat he was until fairly recently, when his ex-wife told me that they had not seen or talked to him in months. Whenever I would talk to him and ask how she's doing, he'd say "she's fine" or "she's doing good" or something like that. However, I sent her a backpack for Christmas since she'd requested a particular color and style, and she sent me a thank-you email back saying "Thanks for the backpack. Too bad you aren't my dad" with one of these angry-type emoticons at the end.

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

Have any of you seen Reel Steel? I thought that story was a really good movie that explored that topic.

wrong thread!

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

Looks like you shined an apple logo in the sky.

Sent from a verizon Rezound

 

[tekwehuself]

Me neither, which is why I created this thread.

I guess I should ask my own brother. He has a 15 year-old daughter who he's basically become a deadbeat father to, although I was unaware of how much of a deadbeat he was until fairly recently, when his ex-wife told me that they had not seen or talked to him in months. Whenever I would talk to him and ask how she's doing, he'd say "she's fine" or "she's doing good" or something like that. However, I sent her a backpack for Christmas since she'd requested a particular color and style, and she sent me a thank-you email back saying "Thanks for the backpack. Too bad you aren't my dad" with one of these angry-type emoticons at the end.

Man, thats really unfortunate to hear bro. This stage in their life cannnot be redone and it is when the most concrete opinions are formed of both their parents and themselves.

My theory would be, the souring of the relationship with the mother. maybe they see the child as an extension of the mother and due to that, don't want to interact anymore.

I know of dudes who have abandoned their kids in that manner when they broke up with the mother.

 

[tekwehuself]

wrong thread!

Nah man. right thread. In that movie, the father was only concerned with his work and actually sold his kid to the mothers sister when the mother died for 100,000.

He didn't give one fuck.

The son was really angry with him, although they bonded due to a shared interest in the robots.

There is a scene that struck a cord with me.. The father asks the son, what do you want from me? in his frustation and the son responds, all I ever wanted you to do was fight for me.

 

[KnownUnknown]

fuck. no.

and you will NOT get any honest responses from deadbeat niggas.

^^^ this. By definition, if they're deadbeat they don't reflect and think "am I a deadbeat?"

 

[kwazdog]

Great Thread OP, I've been wanting to ask this same question on here for a while now.


I am really curious about the psychology involved.


Like others have said, probably won't get many honest responses because the psychology itself will seem even more fucked up in words.

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

Man, thats really unfortunate to hear bro. This stage in their life cannnot be redone and it is when the most concrete opinions are formed of both their parents and themselves.

My theory would be, the souring of the relationship with the mother. maybe they see the child as an extension of the mother and due to that, don't want to interact anymore.

I know of dudes who have abandoned their kids in that manner when they broke up with the mother.

I'm familiar with those kind of dudes.
Sometimes it's like a remnant of her
Ain't right but it's a feeling.
Sent from a verizon Rezound

 

[tekwehuself]

I'm familiar with those kind of dudes.
Sometimes it's like a remnant of her
Ain't right but it's a feeling.
Sent from a verizon Rezound

Yeah. I can get that. I can also get that some mothers just make the shit hard to be comfortable.

You really have to have heart to stick it out through all the court issues and other frustrations that are intentionally done to get a rise out of men for years and years.

Maybe its too much to ask for them to be responsible as these dudes are usually not too responsible for their own selves, or maybe they just dont have the heart to fight.

 

[DV8ed]

Most deadbeats don't see themselves as deadbeats, so don't expect them to come in this thread and admit to it.

 

[8/11Streetz]

no kids yet


but i have a few family members that aint about shit

 

[tekwehuself]

Most deadbeats don't see themselves as deadbeats, so don't expect them to come in this thread and admit to it.

Well, lets define that. Is a deadbeat a father who does not participate financially in a childs life?

What about the fathers who are present in the home and spend the money, but spend no time with their children emotionally. No doing homework, no playing ball, no 1 on 1. Are those dead beats too?

 

[KnownUnknown]

all I ever wanted you to do was fight for me.

That shit broke my heart. #crysthugtears

 

[VAiz4hustlaz]

Most deadbeats don't see themselves as deadbeats, so don't expect them to come in this thread and admit to it.

So, how do they see themselves? As victims of a conniving woman and corrupt system out to get them?

Perhaps I shouldn't have used the term "deadbeats" in the first place, as it is already derogatory. But, in general, men who do not see or provide for their children must have reasons for it.