Realizing You're An Asshole By Nature and How That Affects Relationships...

[OnSlaught]

Tonight I was going through old picture and showing this to a friend of mine because she wanted to see my old girlfriends and flings. As I was looking around I even found a few letters as well. So she asked me to read them aloud and tell her which girl they each belonged to. After she was done listening to them, she replied in a manner that made me wonder what type of man I've been to women. She said, "Do you ever see the pattern in which you treat these women or at least realize how these women respond to your actions?"

As I was running back and forth through my mind trying to make connections with what she was referring to in her question, I came across a question of my own..."Has my being an asshole by nature affected my relationships in an adverse way?"

The conclusion I came to was this: In the letters and cards I received, the women said that I was their "love" and a perfect boyfriend or companion BUT I was not reciprocal in my communication with them. I figured that's the way I am with most people, I communicate when I have to, but I'm fine with being to myself.

So I ask you this: 1st, is my behavior considered "Assholish", 2nd, have you gone through this (guys) or experienced this from your significant other (women), and 3rd, how do you change if you change at all?

Please I'd like to receive feedback from both the brothas and sistas of SOL.

Thank you...

 

[OnnaReal]

Now that's 360!

If you take inventory of your relationships and find such a pattern, and do nothing about it, then an asshole you will be.

I came to a similar conclusion that I'm not as giving in relationships as a pattern. It's not that I don't develop the same, or more caring for those I'm involved with. It's the fear [if you're really 360!] of what happens when you give fully.

In recent relationships I have either given too much too soon [showed how I felt before she did], or gave too little too late [didn't show enough feeling, though I admit I gave all I had for this last relationship -- it just wasnt enough for who I was with].

So, I feel you brotha, I've been an asshole too. But that's how the game is played. I've been "me" to the fullest and failed in relationships past. People meet, greet, love and sometimes leave. We keep living because there is no PERFECT relationship, only the relationship that works to stay strong because both partners want it to stay strong through whatever comes.

If you're not really giving your best effort to keep your relationships strong, then you are an asshole.

Only you can save you from yourself.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

I have already let you know how you are. You are a difficult person to deal with. You are sweet as hell,but you have to:

-get your point across no matter what
-if someone is wrong,you make sure they know it
-you can be very nonchalant about things that you shouldn't be
-you close yourself off to everyone when you get in your moods
-you have a smart ass mouth
-you don't allow yourself to mourn or allow your feelings to come out so you can move on.you keep everything bottled inside.
-you are arrogant(i.e. always talking about it/them) about your former women and dick

I could go on and on...

Edit-my answers

1. Yes, you are an asshole. I am also an asshole to a point when it comes to relationships and the more relationships I get into the worse I get.
2. I have only experienced this once fortunately.

 

[OnSlaught]

Now that's 360!

If you take inventory of your relationships and find such a pattern, and do nothing about it, then an asshole you will be.

I came to a similar conclusion that I'm not as giving in relationships as a pattern. It's not that I don't develop the same, or more caring for those I'm involved with. It's the fear [if you're really 360!] of what happens when you give fully.

In recent relationships I have either given too much too soon [showed how I felt before she did], or gave too little too late [didn't show enough feeling, though I admit I gave all I had for this last relationship -- it just wasnt enough for who I was with].

So, I feel you brotha, I've been an asshole too. But that's how the game is played. I've been "me" to the fullest and failed in relationships past. People meet, greet, love and sometimes leave. We keep living because there is no PERFECT relationship, only the relationship that works to stay strong because both partners want it to stay strong through whatever comes.

If you're not really giving your best effort to keep your relationships strong, then you are an asshole.

Only you can save you from yourself.

Thanks Real, I think that sounds a lot like me. Being me does make me vulnerable to rapid artillery fire by the women. I think expectations is what fucks up relationships. Like you said some of the women you were with expected you to do somethings that were above your calling, and that was the same way that it's been with me. For example some women wanted me to be write them a letter every week...now how realistic is that, every week? We got a telephone, email, and videochat now...why am I doing the damn "Journal" with you by carrier pigeon? Stuff like that...

 

[OnSlaught]

1st, just because you tell someone how they are doesn't make you the guru of that person's personality. You've misunderstood a lot of things that my personality encompasses or entails, mostly as an outward expression toward you not taking into the consideration the impact of other things going on in that person's environment.

As in your list:
1. Why wouldn't I get my point across? I listen, have been told I'm a great listener and comforter, but I'm not going to sit back and let someone be ignorant of a situation when I am fully capable of helping that person understand.

2. See #1l

3. I don't quite understand what you mean...it was explained to me twice yesterday that my contentment with being within myself and being alone tends to make people feel like I am not affected by the outside world. I'm not saying I'm full enlightened, but having a sense of peace and maybe seeing and not understanding why others can't have that same peace is probably what you are talking about.

4. See #3...I don't get into moods, it's called a personality. I can be very outgoing when the situation calls for it, but naturally I'm an introvert who doesn't mind being within his own mind.

5. Can't disagree with that...sometimes it's necessary, sometimes it's not....

6. I like to see myself as a self-evolving auto-maton, one that is constantly taking in information and changing accordingly so that it will better itself but does it in a methodical way. I dealt one way with my grandmother's passing than I did with my grandfather's. I cried (probably a culmination of not doing so when my grandma's death) after my grandfather died because of something that my mom brought to my attention that my grandfather said I should become. I've connected with family and some friends, and it's helped me to accept things. But I have released and my SOL fam helped me to do that also....now it's time to take care of home.

7. Now I totally disagree with this...confidence, yes, arrogance, HELL NO! I've never saw myself as being above anyone else or thinking others are less than me in some capacity. I'm probably one of the humblest brothas you could ever meet, but I am confident. I know what I possess mentally, physically, and spiritually, thus making me not allow myself to not be strong and know myself worth. I think that's totally different from arrogance...

Regarding women, I just did that to make chat entertaining at times....

I have already let you know how you are. You are a difficult person to deal with. You are sweet as hell,but you have to:

-get your point across no matter what
-if someone is wrong,you make sure they know it
-you can be very nonchalant about things that you shouldn't be
-you close yourself off to everyone when you get in your moods
-you have a smart ass mouth
-you don't allow yourself to mourn or allow your feelings to come out so you can move on.you keep everything bottled inside.
-you are arrogant(i.e. always talking about it/them) about your former women and dick

I could go on and on...

Edit-my answers

1. Yes, you are an asshole. I am also an asshole to a point when it comes to relationships and the more relationships I get into the worse I get.
2. I have only experienced this once fortunately.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

1st, just because you tell someone how they are doesn't make you the guru of that person's personality. You've misunderstood a lot of things that my personality encompasses or entails, mostly as an outward expression toward you not taking into the consideration the impact of other things going on in that person's environment.

As in your list:
1. Why wouldn't I get my point across? I listen, have been told I'm a great listener and comforter, but I'm not going to sit back and let someone be ignorant of a situation when I am fully capable of helping that person understand.

2. See #1l

3. I don't quite understand what you mean...it was explained to me twice yesterday that my contentment with being within myself and being alone tends to make people feel like I am not affected by the outside world. I'm not saying I'm full enlightened, but having a sense of peace and maybe seeing and not understanding why others can't have that same peace is probably what you are talking about.

4. See #3...I don't get into moods, it's called a personality. I can be very outgoing when the situation calls for it, but naturally I'm an introvert who doesn't mind being within his own mind.

5. Can't disagree with that...sometimes it's necessary, sometimes it's not....

6. I like to see myself as a self-evolving auto-maton, one that is constantly taking in information and changing accordingly so that it will better itself but does it in a methodical way. I dealt one way with my grandmother's passing than I did with my grandfather's. I cried (probably a culmination of not doing so when my grandma's death) after my grandfather died because of something that my mom brought to my attention that my grandfather said I should become. I've connected with family and some friends, and it's helped me to accept things. But I have released and my SOL fam helped me to do that also....now it's time to take care of home.

7. Now I totally disagree with this...confidence, yes, arrogance, HELL NO! I've never saw myself as being above anyone else or thinking others are less than me in some capacity. I'm probably one of the humblest brothas you could ever meet, but I am confident. I know what I possess mentally, physically, and spiritually, thus making me not allow myself to not be strong and know myself worth. I think that's totally different from arrogance...

Regarding women, I just did that to make chat entertaining at times....

Listen up negro,I didn't say I was the guru of shit.This is my damn opinion.

Edit-you know what I meant about mood,stop being so damn literal,smh.


oh and





























BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

[Mo-Better]

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

.

Getting checked about my opinion and interactions with a person is hilarious.

 

[kjxxxx]

Am I missing it or these two been involved.

Maybe they just know each other personally.


Bro. I feel you on this one:
"-you can be very nonchalant about things that you shouldn't be" 0 SEXY_SCORPIO

What people don't realize is that while they weren't looking you might have already dealt with the situation and is still dealing with it but at the particular moment they are observing you, you might be dealing with something else or the environment, the current emotions, you past experience have all led you to the place where the way you are dealing with it is the best way you are able to cope at that particular moment.

If remaining calm under pressure is one that they have a problem with then fuck em. Might cost you relationships though, as some women expect you to be what they think you should be at a particular moment in time or at particular moments in time and when you are not they believe its reasons for them to break up. If what you are being is the best you you can can be at any given moment then I say fuck em. You can't be anything else

man. fuck em, fuck em all.

Make sure if you decide to change something it is because you think its good for you because I have realized that women fight over shit you done give up long time ago. So even though you have changed as they have requested it's still held against you. You may have become the man that she wanted you to be a few months or a year ago but its too late or she doesn't like the new you that she created and want you to be more like your old self. All you may want is simplicity and peace and to get it you will do just about anything in your capability to get it.

Hopefully you will have one of those women who want the relationship to work and will work with you as you are and not what she wants you to be while understanding that she could mold you if she just accepts you for you in the process.



The only thing stopping me from feeling like a bum is that I don't have enough money.

Listen up negro,I didn't say I was the guru of shit.This is my damn opinion.

Edit-you know what I meant about mood,stop being so damn literal,smh.


oh and





























BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Once again,since people seem to not understand. This is my opinion,and the interactions he and I have had.Damn ya'll crucifying my ass in here.

 

[Mo-Better]

.

Getting checked about my opinion and interactions with a person is hilarious.

Brings to mind the old adage "careful what you ask for you just might get it."

 

[mrjody]

I have already let you know how you are. You are a difficult person to deal with. You are sweet as hell,but you have to:

-get your point across no matter what
-if someone is wrong,you make sure they know it
-you can be very nonchalant about things that you shouldn't be
-you close yourself off to everyone when you get in your moods
-you have a smart ass mouth
-you don't allow yourself to mourn or allow your feelings to come out so you can move on.you keep everything bottled inside.
-you are arrogant(i.e. always talking about it/them) about your former women and dick

I could go on and on...

Edit-my answers

1. Yes, you are an asshole. I am also an asshole to a point when it comes to relationships and the more relationships I get into the worse I get.
2. I have only experienced this once fortunately.

OK, OK, OK, do me next!
This is fun!

 

[Timbuk]

funny shit

 

[BrownTurd]

1st, just because you tell someone how they are doesn't make you the guru of that person's personality. You've misunderstood a lot of things that my personality encompasses or entails, mostly as an outward expression toward you not taking into the consideration the impact of other things going on in that person's environment.

As in your list:
1. Why wouldn't I get my point across? I listen, have been told I'm a great listener and comforter, but I'm not going to sit back and let someone be ignorant of a situation when I am fully capable of helping that person understand.

The way the young lady Sexy_Scorpio described you is correct. By this statement alone you are not taking other peoples feelings into consideration. I think your problem is that you tend to feel everyone views the world or process information the same way that you do. Sometimes people don't need your help or for you to correct them. You are making the situation worst by doing that. I can see how a disconnect can occur with your relationships. Your intent is good but from a psychological stand point you do more harm then good.

2. See #1l

Once again you are viewing the world through your eyes only. It is ok for people to be wrong. Correcting someone all the time can become annoying because it is not that serious. You seem to like to debate and there is nothing better to you then a good debate. But like I said earlier. Everyone does not like to debate. Case in point. You asked for advice and you are picking apart peoples responses. Debating to you is a joy. But everyone does like to debate. Everyone does not process information in a strictly logical analytical manner.

3. I don't quite understand what you mean...it was explained to me twice yesterday that my contentment with being within myself and being alone tends to make people feel like I am not affected by the outside world. I'm not saying I'm full enlightened, but having a sense of peace and maybe seeing and not understanding why others can't have that same peace is probably what you are talking about.

Brotha once again you are viewing the world through your eyes only. This is were the disconnect is happening. You seem like a stand up brotha that handles his business and I can see why women would be attracted to you because you have a strong sense of confidence. But your confidence is borderline arrogant because you fail to understand that people view the world and process information differently then you. No one likes to play guessing games. You will need to open up more and express yourself

4. See #3...I don't get into moods, it's called a personality. I can be very outgoing when the situation calls for it, but naturally I'm an introvert who doesn't mind being within his own mind.

That is the problem brotha. "You are within your own Mind" You can't be selfish like that. In your world that is how you deal with things. But to a woman that can be devastating to her. A woman needs to feel love in their mans actions, words, and touch. From your post you have the touch down but your words and action don't always connect.


7. Now I totally disagree with this...confidence, yes, arrogance, HELL NO! I've never saw myself as being above anyone else or thinking others are less than me in some capacity. I'm probably one of the humblest brothas you could ever meet, but I am confident. I know what I possess mentally, physically, and spiritually, thus making me not allow myself to not be strong and know myself worth. I think that's totally different from arrogance...

Ummm brotha you are arrogant. You noticed how many times you used "I"

...

 

[OnSlaught]

...

Fair enough Turd!

Thanks for the input you piece of shit!

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Fair enough Turd!

Thanks for the input you piece of shit!

.Meanie

 

[watchin]

First off..if your noticing a pattern of behaviour and are starting to ask yourself and others about it in hopes of changing up etc..then that is the opposite of asshole-ish.

I think it is very common for men to be in their head alot. Especially intelligent men. Sometimes that gets mistaken as coldness.

You know yourself best. Honest self evaluation should reveal areas if any you feel you need to work on.

But to put it bluntly. Don't strive for someone else's idea of a perfect mate. Strive to be true to yourself and be the best man you can within those parameters.

Real love reveals itself in a myriad of ways. I'm sure you have given of yourself in ways that expressed love you have felt for another. Just may not be the flowery love letters type actions. You keep doing you. In time you will find women who appreciate that and those that dont..need to find other options.

 

[BrownTurd]

Fair enough Turd!

Thanks for the input you piece of shit!

It was funny reading your post because you were just like me. I could pull mad women and most would approach me. They would say how nice I was and sweet. But I would eventually drive them crazy because of how my personality was. I was just like you almost to a tee.

I had to change because I wanted better relationships. It took some effort but it was not that bad of a process. Once I got the understanding of how to deal with other peoples feelings and emotions I have not had anymore problems. Funny thing is I use to correct people all the time..but not anymore. Just like me you are a logical thinker and also introvert. We can solve our on problems and can internally keep ourselves entertained.

 

[OnSlaught]

That's wassup...just one thing that I don't agree with you on is that I'm arrogant. I used "I" because "I" was responding to what someone said about me, the individual.

Other than that, I wouldn't mind receiving feed back about what you did specifically to incorporate people's feelings and emotions into your understanding so you could deal with them better. I'm trying, but I just don't understand why I gotta have contact with someone 3 and 4 times a day in order for their emotional self to feel validated.

Believe me Turd, I'm all ears man, all ears....

It was funny reading your post because you were just like me. I could pull mad women and most would approach me. They would say how nice I was and sweet. But I would eventually drive them crazy because of how my personality was. I was just like you almost to a tee.

I had to change because I wanted better relationships. It took some effort but it was not that bad of a process. Once I got the understanding of how to deal with other peoples feelings and emotions I have not had anymore problems. Funny thing is I use to correct people all the time..but not anymore. Just like me you are a logical thinker and also introvert. We can solve our on problems and can internally keep ourselves entertained.

 

[shanebp1978]

I don't get the, " Asshole by nature " thing.

I will never admit to being an asshole. I will never call MYSELF an asshole.

I've been called an asshole all my life, an acquired taste, in relationships women have cited my impact upon rooms of people, " If your not laughing, no one feels they can laugh. "



I do not think of myself as an asshole. The problem has never been me.

I'm a caring, loyal human being with not a hateful bone in my body for you spear chucking cotton pickers and CACs.

It's just that the rest of the human population are weak spinned worthless plastic sniveling sycophants suckling on the poison tit of the Babylonian whore.

Your faulty existences are not my concern and I do not deserve a bad rap for your imperfections.

 

[OnSlaught]

lol:Well Shane, I could 't agree with you more. It's just I've been told that I come off that way.

Where you been at bro?

I don't get the, " Asshole by nature " thing.

I will never admit to being an asshole. I will never call MYSELF an asshole.

I've been called an asshole all my life, an acquired taste, in relationships women have cited my impact upon rooms of people, " If your not laughing, no one feels they can laugh. "



I do not think of myself as an asshole. The problem has never been me.

I'm a caring, loyal human being with not a hateful bone in my body for you spear chucking cotton pickers and CACs.

It's just that the rest of the human population are weak spinned worthless plastic sniveling sycophants suckling on the poison tit of the Babylonian whore.

Your faulty existences are not my concern and I do not deserve a bad rap for your imperfections.

 

[DeSiRe]

there is always a common denominator

 

[OnSlaught]

Thank you Watchin. You've given me a different type of insight that I really have never received from a woman before. I must say your commentary is very refeshing! [/MEDIA]

First off..if your noticing a pattern of behaviour and are starting to ask yourself and others about it in hopes of changing up etc..then that is the opposite of asshole-ish.

I think it is very common for men to be in their head alot. Especially intelligent men. Sometimes that gets mistaken as coldness.

You know yourself best. Honest self evaluation should reveal areas if any you feel you need to work on.

But to put it bluntly. Don't strive for someone else's idea of a perfect mate. Strive to be true to yourself and be the best man you can within those parameters.

Real love reveals itself in a myriad of ways. I'm sure you have given of yourself in ways that expressed love you have felt for another. Just may not be the flowery love letters type actions. You keep doing you. In time you will find women who appreciate that and those that dont..need to find other options.

e

 

[sean69]

First of all ...

OK. Now that that's out the way ...


Nah dude. I don't think you're not an asshole-by-nature, you're just you. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and personality traits that really can't be changed. Adapted? Meh ... perhaps. But not sustainably.

Unless you really think you're an asshole ... in which case ignore the above.



Oh, and ...

I have already let you know how you are. You are a difficult person to deal with. You are sweet as hell,but you have to:

-get your point across no matter what
-if someone is wrong,you make sure they know it
-you can be very nonchalant about things that you shouldn't be
-you close yourself off to everyone when you get in your moods
-you have a smart ass mouth
-you don't allow yourself to mourn or allow your feelings to come out so you can move on.you keep everything bottled inside.
-you are arrogant(i.e. always talking about it/them) about your former women and dick

I could go on and on...

Edit-my answers

1. Yes, you are an asshole. I am also an asshole to a point when it comes to relationships and the more relationships I get into the worse I get.
2. I have only experienced this once fortunately.

 

[OnSlaught]

Thanks Sean...on the SS note you a fool!

First of all ...

OK. Now that that's out the way ...


Nah dude. I don't think you're not an asshole-by-nature, you're just you. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and personality traits that really can't be changed. Adapted? Meh ... perhaps. But not sustainably.

Unless you really think you're an asshole ... in which case ignore the above.



Oh, and ...

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=346231&highlight=gasol

 

[BrownTurd]

That's wassup...just one thing that I don't agree with you on is that I'm arrogant. I used "I" because "I" was responding to what someone said about me, the individual.

Other than that, I wouldn't mind receiving feed back about what you did specifically to incorporate people's feelings and emotions into your understanding so you could deal with them better. I'm trying, but I just don't understand why I gotta have contact with someone 3 and 4 times a day in order for their emotional self to feel validated.

Believe me Turd, I'm all ears man, all ears....

Just like me your intent is good but your demeanor just does not match. Since people can't read your mind it is very difficult to read you or figure out what you are thinking or feeling. You are the type of guy that will provide for his family and be good to his wife but never validate the reason why you do all those things.

When dealing with females you will continue to have a disconnect with some because of your way of thinking. (Logically and Analytical) You are what some refer to as a thinker. You come across arrogant because just like me you "Know what you Know" People like you will be able to tell people almost immediately whether or not you can help, and if so, how. What is happening is people are mistaking your confidence for arrogance. In simple terms...you are not good at small talk. Instead you solve problems and make things happen. I can see why a lot of females misread you.

I had to change the way I approached relationships. I learned not to approach them using only logic and place more of my thinking towards emotions. Learning from my mistakes caused me to understand that my lady friends did not need a teacher or someone to correct them. They needed someone who could understand how they were feeling. Like you... contacting someone 3 to 4 times a day did not make sense to me at first because I was looking at the situation through my eyes. Once I realized that others needed emotional validation to function it began to make since. People like me and you don't need emotional validation because we can give ourselves that. Most people can't function that way.

What I worked on was listening and ignoring the bullshit I would hear. My first reaction would be when I hear bullshit is to correct it. I also had a problem with dropping a subject. I always had to have the last word. Just like you I could never leave things incomplete. I would have to fix it, complete it or make sure it worked before I left something along. The hardest thing I had to learn was that it was ok to be dumb in certain situations.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

My brother from another. I agree with some of the things you've said because they are questions I've asked myself. I also agree with some of the things Bro Shane said. i'll Robeson more in-depth when I'm not on this phone and so tired.

 

[SWATLANTA]

I have already let you know how you are. You are a difficult person to deal with. You are sweet as hell,but you have to:

-get your point across no matter what
-if someone is wrong,you make sure they know it
-you can be very nonchalant about things that you shouldn't be
-you close yourself off to everyone when you get in your moods
-you have a smart ass mouth
-you don't allow yourself to mourn or allow your feelings to come out so you can move on.you keep everything bottled inside.
-you are arrogant(i.e. always talking about it/them) about your former women and dick

I could go on and on...

Edit-my answers

1. Yes, you are an asshole. I am also an asshole to a point when it comes to relationships and the more relationships I get into the worse I get.
2. I have only experienced this once fortunately.

I swear that I have heard all of these things before in my interactions with females. The ones that I truly liked even said this about me...


shit is scary...

 

[kjxxxx]

Dude. Did you read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Good book. Those were some good words of advice. This was something I learned in Amway also. Fucking A. Good Stuff man. Kinda reminds me of something my uncle told me when I asked him how he stayed married so long. He said "when my wife wants something done, I do it. If I can't, I'll show her why I can't. If she still thinks I can, I try till I fail. If I am doing what she wants she will leave me alone and I am happy. If she is sad, I am not happy." They will not let you have peace if they are not contented.

So I guess if I looked at it from my uncle's perspective. If she wants you to call her 3 times a day. Fucking call her. Ok. That's the easy part. The hard part will come when she wants you to figure out what she is thinking. Or when she is pissed off at you for not thinking what she thinks you should be thinking.

Women are nutcase!!! - oh, I am going through a woman hating phase right now

Just like me your intent is good but your demeanor just does not match. Since people can't read your mind it is very difficult to read you or figure out what you are thinking or feeling. You are the type of guy that will provide for his family and be good to his wife but never validate the reason why you do all those things.

When dealing with females you will continue to have a disconnect with some because of your way of thinking. (Logically and Analytical) You are what some refer to as a thinker. You come across arrogant because just like me you "Know what you Know" People like you will be able to tell people almost immediately whether or not you can help you, and if so, how. What is happening is people are mistaking your confidence for arrogance. In simple terms...you are not good at small talk. Instead you solve problems and make things happen. I can see why alot of females misread you.

I had to change the way I approached relationships. I learned not to approach them using only logic and place more of my thinking towards emotions. Learning from my mistakes caused me to understand that my lady friends did not need a teacher or someone to correct them. They needed someone who could understand how they were feeling. Like you contacting someone 3 to 4 times a day did not make sense to me at first because I was looking at the situation through my eyes. Once I realized that others needed emotional validation to function it began to make since. People like me and you don't need emotional validation because we can give ourselves that. Most people can't function that way.

What I worked on was listening and ignoring the bullshit I would hear. My first reaction would be when I hear bullshit is to correct it. I also had a problem with dropping a subject. I always had to have the last word. Just like you I could never leave things incomplete. I would have to fix it, complete it or make sure it worked before I left something along. The hardest thing I had to learn was that it was ok to be dumb in certain situations.

 

[LoneStar29]

Am I missing it or these two been involved.

Anywhoo

From what I've seen Ons I wouldn't consider you an asshole because you seem to be a person with good intentions

I do think you are a bit arrogant though ... sorry

"Being within your own mind" is definately a good thing but it can come across as maybe not caring to a female that may be sensitive ... I can understand that some things don't affect you as they would others but I think if you care about that female then you should at least come down to her level sometimes to show her that you understand as opposed to dismissing it as her just being sensitive and stupid ... even if you think it is dumb we are all different people and it may be important to her ... not every problem needs a solution from you ... maybe sometimes she just needs you to listen and hold her(I know that's corny) *waits for the hate(not from Ons)*

Compromise is important in relationships but I do agree that demanding a letter a week is a bit much

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Anywhoo

From what I've seen Ons I wouldn't consider you an asshole because you seem to be a person with good intentions

I do think you are a bit arrogant though ... sorry

"Being within your own mind" is definately a good thing but it can come across as maybe not caring to a female that may be sensitive ... I can understand that some things don't affect you as they would others but I think if you care about that female then you should at least come down to her level sometimes to show her that you understand as opposed to dismissing it as her just being sensitive ... even if you think it is dumb we are all different people and it may be important to her ... not every problem needs a solution from you ... maybe sometimes she just needs you to listen and hold her(I know that's corny) *waits for the hate(not from Ons)*

Stop laughing dammit

 

[LoneStar29]

Stop laughing dammit

I'm sorry I can't help it SS

 

[OnSlaught]

Turd, thank you for your clear insight and advice. I will try to incorporate this into my dealings with women from now on. It definitely seems like you have the ability, at least with those who have similar personalities, to be able to read people's character.

I'll keep you up to date on my personal growth brotha...

Just like me your intent is good but your demeanor just does not match. Since people can't read your mind it is very difficult to read you or figure out what you are thinking or feeling. You are the type of guy that will provide for his family and be good to his wife but never validate the reason why you do all those things.

When dealing with females you will continue to have a disconnect with some because of your way of thinking. (Logically and Analytical) You are what some refer to as a thinker. You come across arrogant because just like me you "Know what you Know" People like you will be able to tell people almost immediately whether or not you can help, and if so, how. What is happening is people are mistaking your confidence for arrogance. In simple terms...you are not good at small talk. Instead you solve problems and make things happen. I can see why a lot of females misread you.

I had to change the way I approached relationships. I learned not to approach them using only logic and place more of my thinking towards emotions. Learning from my mistakes caused me to understand that my lady friends did not need a teacher or someone to correct them. They needed someone who could understand how they were feeling. Like you... contacting someone 3 to 4 times a day did not make sense to me at first because I was looking at the situation through my eyes. Once I realized that others needed emotional validation to function it began to make since. People like me and you don't need emotional validation because we can give ourselves that. Most people can't function that way.

What I worked on was listening and ignoring the bullshit I would hear. My first reaction would be when I hear bullshit is to correct it. I also had a problem with dropping a subject. I always had to have the last word. Just like you I could never leave things incomplete. I would have to fix it, complete it or make sure it worked before I left something along. The hardest thing I had to learn was that it was ok to be dumb in certain situations.

@ the Robeson remark!

But on the real, LD, give me your insight and experience. I'd be more than glad to hear your input on this...

My brother from another. I agree with some of the things you've said because they are questions I've asked myself. I also agree with some of the things Bro Shane said. i'll Robeson more in-depth when I'm not on this phone and so tired.

Swat, all I can say is

...

But on the real,

...

I swear that I have heard all of these things before in my interactions with females. The ones that I truly liked even said this about me...


shit is scary...

I didn't get a chance to say this Kjxxx but thanks for the insight...I feel you on a lot of what you had to say man...

Dude. Did you read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Good book. Those were some good words of advice. This was something I learned in Amway also. Fucking A. Good Stuff man. Kinda reminds me of something my uncle told me when I asked him how he stayed married so long. He said "when my wife wants something done, I do it. If I can't, I'll show her why I can't. If she still thinks I can, I try till I fail. If I am doing what she wants she will leave me alone and I am happy. If she is sad, I am not happy." They will not let you have peace if they are not contented.

So I guess if I looked at it from my uncle's perspective. If she wants you to call her 3 times a day. Fucking call her. Ok. That's the easy part. The hard part will come when she wants you to figure out what she is thinking. Or when she is pissed off at you for not thinking what she thinks you should be thinking.

Women are nutcase!!! - oh, I am going through a woman hating phase right now

Lone, I AM NOT ARROGANT!! Believe me, you gotta know that is just me goofing around. I might be very confident, but never arrogance.

To make a comparison and use an example I will use music artists:

I more like Phonte than Kanye...

But thanks for the input...

Anywhoo

From what I've seen Ons I wouldn't consider you an asshole because you seem to be a person with good intentions

I do think you are a bit arrogant though ... sorry

"Being within your own mind" is definately a good thing but it can come across as maybe not caring to a female that may be sensitive ... I can understand that some things don't affect you as they would others but I think if you care about that female then you should at least come down to her level sometimes to show her that you understand as opposed to dismissing it as her just being sensitive and stupid ... even if you think it is dumb we are all different people and it may be important to her ... not every problem needs a solution from you ... maybe sometimes she just needs you to listen and hold her(I know that's corny) *waits for the hate(not from Ons)*

Compromise is important in relationships but I do agree that demanding a letter a week is a bit much

 

[OnSlaught]

This song probably best explains me right now....

[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/ho6pqXrFFLM&hl=en&fs=1[/FLASH]