Realizing You're An Asshole By Nature and How That Affects Relationships...
- Thread starter OnSlaught
- Start date
What's that suppose to mean Sean? 
Anyway, I think I found out or rediscovered something that I've been sitting on as far as an explanation for my behavior, which doesn't solely include women, but everyone....
I am an INTP. I found this out a while ago but then it was reconfirmed after I took the Myers-Briggs test for a 3rd time and got the same result.
Here is the synopsis of what an INTP generally consists of:
The Architect Rational is one of the 16 role variants of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. David Keirsey originally described the Architect role variant; however, the very brief personality descriptions of Isabel Myers contributed to its creation. Architects correlate primarily with the INTP Myers-Briggs type and slightly to the ENTP.
Architects are introspective, pragmatic, informative, and attentive. The scientific systemization of all knowledge, or Architectonics, is highly developed in Architects, who are intensely curious and see the world as something to be understood. Their primary interest is to determine how things are structured, built, or configured. Architects are designers of theoretical systems and new technologies. Rearranging the environment to fit their design is a distant goal of Architects.
Of all the role variants, Architects are the most logically and verbally precise. In casual conversations, they may be tempted to point out errors the other speaker makes, with the simple goal of maintaining clarity within the exchange. In serious discussions, Architects' abilities to detect distinctions, inconsistencies, contradictions, and frame arguments gives them an enormous advantage. In debates, Architects can sometimes be devastating, or alienate themselves from the group with overly logical arguments.
Of all the role variants, Architects have the greatest ability to analyze the world in depth.[citation needed] They prefer to quietly work alone and they may shut other people out if they are focused on analysis. This, coupled with the fact that Architects are usually shy, makes it difficult for other individuals to get to know them. In social exchanges, Architects are more interested in informing others about what they have learned than they are interested in directing the actions of others.
Credentials or other forms of traditional authority do not impress Architects. Instead, logically coherent statements are the only things that seem to persuade them. Architects highly value intelligence, and can be impatient with people with less ability than they have. Architects often perceive themselves as being one of the few individuals capable of defining the ends a society must achieve and will often strive to find the most efficient means to accomplish their ends. This perspective can make Architects seem arrogant to others.
Makes sense...
Anyway, I think I found out or rediscovered something that I've been sitting on as far as an explanation for my behavior, which doesn't solely include women, but everyone....
I am an INTP. I found this out a while ago but then it was reconfirmed after I took the Myers-Briggs test for a 3rd time and got the same result.
Here is the synopsis of what an INTP generally consists of:
The Architect Rational is one of the 16 role variants of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. David Keirsey originally described the Architect role variant; however, the very brief personality descriptions of Isabel Myers contributed to its creation. Architects correlate primarily with the INTP Myers-Briggs type and slightly to the ENTP.
Architects are introspective, pragmatic, informative, and attentive. The scientific systemization of all knowledge, or Architectonics, is highly developed in Architects, who are intensely curious and see the world as something to be understood. Their primary interest is to determine how things are structured, built, or configured. Architects are designers of theoretical systems and new technologies. Rearranging the environment to fit their design is a distant goal of Architects.
Of all the role variants, Architects are the most logically and verbally precise. In casual conversations, they may be tempted to point out errors the other speaker makes, with the simple goal of maintaining clarity within the exchange. In serious discussions, Architects' abilities to detect distinctions, inconsistencies, contradictions, and frame arguments gives them an enormous advantage. In debates, Architects can sometimes be devastating, or alienate themselves from the group with overly logical arguments.
Of all the role variants, Architects have the greatest ability to analyze the world in depth.[citation needed] They prefer to quietly work alone and they may shut other people out if they are focused on analysis. This, coupled with the fact that Architects are usually shy, makes it difficult for other individuals to get to know them. In social exchanges, Architects are more interested in informing others about what they have learned than they are interested in directing the actions of others.
Credentials or other forms of traditional authority do not impress Architects. Instead, logically coherent statements are the only things that seem to persuade them. Architects highly value intelligence, and can be impatient with people with less ability than they have. Architects often perceive themselves as being one of the few individuals capable of defining the ends a society must achieve and will often strive to find the most efficient means to accomplish their ends. This perspective can make Architects seem arrogant to others.
Makes sense...
Here you go dude ...
You know after a certain point that "love" shit becomes tainted.
People say that they love you but love has varying degrees. I'm talking relationship love not friend or family. So when people say they "love" you there is no way to tell what they really mean so how can you reciprocate fully everytime.
Really...if you think about it how could you? If I've been with a woman for say 3 months vs. 3 years that "love" bond would vary. Maybe it takes you 3 years to really make a connection of trust, honesty, loyalty and whatever else makes up your "love" dna but this girl feels like she has made it in 3 months.
What do you do??? Are you an asshole because you don't return her "love" feelings??? No sir you are not.
People say that they love you but love has varying degrees. I'm talking relationship love not friend or family. So when people say they "love" you there is no way to tell what they really mean so how can you reciprocate fully everytime.
Really...if you think about it how could you? If I've been with a woman for say 3 months vs. 3 years that "love" bond would vary. Maybe it takes you 3 years to really make a connection of trust, honesty, loyalty and whatever else makes up your "love" dna but this girl feels like she has made it in 3 months.
What do you do??? Are you an asshole because you don't return her "love" feelings??? No sir you are not.
ONS, you may be on to something. I am an INTJ and I found this interesting...
INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.
The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.
INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.
The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.
Man fuck all that analysis shit. If people start accepting people for who they are and that the person you are now will evolve then we will have good relationships. If you take away all the preconditions and ultimatums of the evolution then you will have a better relationship. The sooner you can find someone will accept you in those then you will have a harmonious relationship.
It is possible that the person can evolve that state of awareness during the relationship when they realize that there efforts to change the person is not being realized as they have imagined and decide to just let nature do its then and work on themselves instead.
Another key thing is that both people need to have the same ideology about relationships. If you the kind of person who believe that once you've made the decision to be with someone, start a family and that's it for life and you will live with that decision. You need to find someone who feels the same way because that is the only way you can achieve that goal. So if you both approach the relationship from that perspective then the decisions you make will have the other person in mind because they will affect them one way or the other which will affect you one way or the other. IE. If calling her 4 times a day makes her happy you will want her to be happy because her happiness now affects you even years later. Her understanding that you may sometimes forget to call her so she programs it in your phone or writing it in your planner will go a long way than her not doing that but getting upset at you for not remembering though she know that is how you are.
Her telling you to fix something in the house and you not doing it immediately and her having to tell you over and over is part of life. We all do what we think is important to us at the moment or what will make us feel good or be less painful. So accepting the other with their flaws is one of the keys I've found from listening and observing others.
It is possible that the person can evolve that state of awareness during the relationship when they realize that there efforts to change the person is not being realized as they have imagined and decide to just let nature do its then and work on themselves instead.
Another key thing is that both people need to have the same ideology about relationships. If you the kind of person who believe that once you've made the decision to be with someone, start a family and that's it for life and you will live with that decision. You need to find someone who feels the same way because that is the only way you can achieve that goal. So if you both approach the relationship from that perspective then the decisions you make will have the other person in mind because they will affect them one way or the other which will affect you one way or the other. IE. If calling her 4 times a day makes her happy you will want her to be happy because her happiness now affects you even years later. Her understanding that you may sometimes forget to call her so she programs it in your phone or writing it in your planner will go a long way than her not doing that but getting upset at you for not remembering though she know that is how you are.
Her telling you to fix something in the house and you not doing it immediately and her having to tell you over and over is part of life. We all do what we think is important to us at the moment or what will make us feel good or be less painful. So accepting the other with their flaws is one of the keys I've found from listening and observing others.
What's that suppose to mean Sean?
Anyway, I think I found out or rediscovered something that I've been sitting on as far as an explanation for my behavior, which doesn't solely include women, but everyone....
I am an INTP. I found this out a while ago but then it was reconfirmed after I took the Myers-Briggs test for a 3rd time and got the same result.
Here is the synopsis of what an INTP generally consists of:
.....
Makes sense...
Last edited:
LoneStar29
Banned
What's that suppose to mean Sean?
Anyway, I think I found out or rediscovered something that I've been sitting on as far as an explanation for my behavior, which doesn't solely include women, but everyone....
I am an INTP. I found this out a while ago but then it was reconfirmed after I took the Myers-Briggs test for a 3rd time and got the same result.
Here is the synopsis of what an INTP generally consists of:
The Architect Rational is one of the 16 role variants of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. David Keirsey originally described the Architect role variant; however, the very brief personality descriptions of Isabel Myers contributed to its creation. Architects correlate primarily with the INTP Myers-Briggs type and slightly to the ENTP.
Architects are introspective, pragmatic, informative, and attentive. The scientific systemization of all knowledge, or Architectonics, is highly developed in Architects, who are intensely curious and see the world as something to be understood. Their primary interest is to determine how things are structured, built, or configured. Architects are designers of theoretical systems and new technologies. Rearranging the environment to fit their design is a distant goal of Architects.
Of all the role variants, Architects are the most logically and verbally precise. In casual conversations, they may be tempted to point out errors the other speaker makes, with the simple goal of maintaining clarity within the exchange. In serious discussions, Architects' abilities to detect distinctions, inconsistencies, contradictions, and frame arguments gives them an enormous advantage. In debates, Architects can sometimes be devastating, or alienate themselves from the group with overly logical arguments.
Of all the role variants, Architects have the greatest ability to analyze the world in depth.[citation needed] They prefer to quietly work alone and they may shut other people out if they are focused on analysis. This, coupled with the fact that Architects are usually shy, makes it difficult for other individuals to get to know them. In social exchanges, Architects are more interested in informing others about what they have learned than they are interested in directing the actions of others.
Credentials or other forms of traditional authority do not impress Architects. Instead, logically coherent statements are the only things that seem to persuade them. Architects highly value intelligence, and can be impatient with people with less ability than they have. Architects often perceive themselves as being one of the few individuals capable of defining the ends a society must achieve and will often strive to find the most efficient means to accomplish their ends. This perspective can make Architects seem arrogant to others.
Makes sense...
Oh boy
Fuck all this analysis. I ain't gonna type out long shit, but what you described is the same feedback I get.
"You don't open up"
"You just don't wanna talk"
"you don't just call whenever"
Blah, blah, I'm terrible at that shit. I don't relate that to my "assholish nature" which I view as totally seperate behavior. I have made efforts recently to improve that part of me for current/future relationships, but it won't happen overnight. I try and explain this from the outset once it gets past that "opening stage", so it's not like anyone can't tell me that I didn't warn them. I don't have a problem expressing emotion...it's just that I rarely have them.
I'm an introverted extrovert. Weird like that.
"You don't open up"
"You just don't wanna talk"
"you don't just call whenever"
Blah, blah, I'm terrible at that shit. I don't relate that to my "assholish nature" which I view as totally seperate behavior. I have made efforts recently to improve that part of me for current/future relationships, but it won't happen overnight. I try and explain this from the outset once it gets past that "opening stage", so it's not like anyone can't tell me that I didn't warn them. I don't have a problem expressing emotion...it's just that I rarely have them.
I'm an introverted extrovert. Weird like that.