...
to keep it real tho... i think that DEJA story is fake... well written and told... but none the less fake... almost too simpish to real!
but more importantly...
Unfortunately, it's real. I wish that it wasn't.
BGOL TRUE confessions
- Thread starter BigDaddyBuk
- Start date
Unfortunately, it's real. I wish that it wasn't.
True Story #2: Deja
NOTE: This will sound like I'm writing a story, but this shit really happened...
...
This was the next to the last woman that I met on 'teledate'. The very last woman I met ended up being my girlfriend of a year or so, with whom I moved to LA. That's another story.
I was in my third year at HU. I lived in a duplex with one of my best friends and a female room mate, and our place was spitting distance from campus. My entire crew was thriving socially. Even the homie roommate that didn't go to college seemed to be dong well. He'd tell me about how he and our lady room mate would have their midnight rendezvous on the regular.
Somehow, though, this social success was skipping me, and that tore me up.
So I met this chick on teledate who called herself Deja. For a guy in my situation, she seemed like a fantasy right out of a noir novel. She was a 'stripper' trying to get out of the game. She'd only met bad guys and had 'never talked to anybody like me before'. One conversation became two, and two became ten. Before you knew it, we were talking every night. When I came back from class, It was exciting to get those voice mails with, "I miss you" and, "Call me back, boo...", and blah, blah, blah.
Basically, simp bait.
Every time I wanted to meet, she had an excuse. "I've got to work late tonight", or "they wanted me to dance at club XXX but now I've got to dance at club YYY across town." This is difficult, when both of you rely on public transportation and me, on a measly undergrad budget, needed to schedule meetings and transportation with extreme financial prejudice.
For the first month, this was okay with me. It satisfied a fantasy. Every night we spoke on the phone, we seemed more connected. Shit, we even fucked around on the phone. It was all part of the illusion, and from my years of dealing with phone-chicks, I knew exactly what to say and how to say it such that I was Denzel on the tele. That's all mattered.
During month two, I started to get antsy. The fellas were looking at me funny because I was treating this invisible chick like my lady. When cats were going out on dates, I'd skip out because I'd tell them that I had my own 'date', a meeting with a girl I spoke most enthusiastically about where our face-to-face meeting was always, "tomorrow, man. I'm tellin' you...tomorrow."
The irony is that all lies have a morsel of truth. I knew her telephone number, and she'd even given me her Bowie address once. At one point, Her birthday came. I was feeling romantic, and I wanted to surprise her. I'd managed a ride from my room mate and we went out with some bullshit present that I'd bought, but she wasn't home. I left it at the door, and the next day I got a call thanking me for it, so I knew that the address was real.
During Month THREE is when, as Chinua Achebe said, "Things Fall Apart". I was tired of the games and tired of the runaround, and she could sense it. Her promises of meeting up became more and more pleading. I started to believe her less an less. Her lies were confusing. My thinking was, "if she was playing me, why go on for this long? Why do we talk all the time, and what was the gain?" I started to let my emotional side go, and let my analytical mind kick in for the first time. Maybe she was sincere and I had really bad luck...
...but it was highly unlikely.
It was when she set up our last date that i decided to call her bluff. We spoke, and she said that she wanted me to catch the last train out to New Carrolton (a good hike from HU by train), then catch the last bus - a rural county bus - which would take me to a shopping complex near her house in Bowie. She'd meet me there and pick me up.
So I said, Fuck it. Whatever happens, I just wanted to test her character. At that point, that was all that mattered to me.
So I went. As the sun started going down in those summer hours, during that long ride I realized that I was putting a lot of faith in this person.
The shopping complex was thinning out, and I waited at the meeting point at the pay phone by the Taco Bell. I called, and she said she was waiting on her ride and she'd be by to pick me up shortly. One hour passed, then two. By this time, the entire place was deserted save for the occasional person going to the gas station across the street.
By midnight, I knew that she wasn't coming. We spoke on the phone, and she told me that she'd be there soon. By this time, I called my roommate to tell him the story, and he offered to come get me. Every hour, I'd call on the payphone with an update, and he'd offer to come out and I'd decline. I wanted to see this through. I needed to know if this chick that I spoke to for three months would really leave me sitting out here all night long at a fuckin' pay phone
By 1am, she was just like, "Go with your friend", and I'm like, "no, I want to really see what you're going to do." You see, I *had* to see what she was going to do. This was my first lesson out of naivety. Until this point, I didn't really realize what some people were capable of. It was then that I got my first lesson that some people really just don't give a fuck. It was a defining moment for me, my first REAL life college lesson.
I sat on that corner until the sun came up.
I caught the first bus back home, and, newly resolved, made my decision.
Deja called several times apologizing profusely, and I played along. We continued as if nothing happened. I'd already decided what i was going to do that weekend.
I borrowed a friend's car, but didn't tell her immediately. During the week, I purchased a cell phone, and got her comfortable with the transition of talking on that as opposed to the land line.
We'd made plans to talk that evening, but my plans were to drive out to the address that I'd been sitting on for months. Back then, I was a big comic book junkie, and brought a comic to read just in case I'd be out there a while. I remembered that her nephew liked comics, and in case I met him, I wanted to have something to give him.
She called me when I was in route, and I told her that I was going to buy groceries. She bought it, and carried on business as usual. By the time I made it to the dirt road leading to her 'neighborhood', I remember seeing a car pass by and I hoped that it wasn't her and her people. Her area, back then, was in the nascent stages of development when communities were being forced from rural simplicity to the Americana cut-n-pastes that they are today, so it was uncommon for two cars on roads like these to pass each other.
They didn't pause, and neither did I, though. I kept my eyes straight on the road, praying that they didn't see me.
When i pulled up in front of her house, I dialed her number. Her easy mirth plunged to shock when i told her that I was parked in front of her place. She was furious, and the words just tumbled out, "Why didn't you tell me you was coming?? You can't just show up! I ain't even there right now! I'm gone! I won't be back for hours."
It didn't matter, though. I was resolved. I just parked and told her that I'd wait. After about two hours, I knocked on the door and an older woman answered. I politely told her my name and my business there. She didn't recognize the name Deja at first, but she paused, drew in a breath, then started biting her lip. After a moment, she new what was going on. She called to a man in the house and said that somebody's here for (I can't remember her real name) "Shaneka". When the older man came to the door, he looked at me for a long time, listened to my story, realized that I was straight, and invited me inside.
The three of us sat at a dinner table in an uncomfortable silence. The woman, who I learned was her mother, offered me a drink. The father sat there, looking back and forth between the two of us, then told me that I needed to be prepared to deal with the fact that the girl I called Deja is a liar and that I needed to be ready for some disappointment.
Mind you, I didn't care if this girl looked like a model 10 at this point. I just wanted closure. I wanted to see this chick that had usurped three months of my life, face-to-face.
As told by them, she'd had multiple phones and amused herself with the phone lines. I looked on the wall and saw, just like she said, a wall mounted phone on the dining room wall. Below it was another phone resting on some odd table, undoubtedly one of the many phones to go with the one that Deja spoke to me on those late nights in her bedroom. The mother continued, saying that things like this had happened with her before, but never to this extent.
For what felt like an eternity, we sat waiting at that table until we heard a car pull up at the rear of the house, doors open, and several people make way to the back door.
The first one through was the nephew. I'd never seen him before, but as soon as the youngin' saw me, he looked at me, looked to the mom and dad, said, "Uh oh", and knowing the deal...shuffled off, stage left.
Bad sign.
Next came Deja. She was big. I mean REALLY big. Like 300lbs big. My face was blank. Nothing, at this point, surprised me anymore. The mother lowered her head and, i shit you not, the father actually SMILED and said, "Shaneka, this young man is here to see you."
Deja shock turned to anger, then righteous indignation. The profanity poured, and I was more shocked that she used that language in front of her family than at the fact that it was directed towards me. "You can't come to my fucking house! Fuck you! Fuck you!"
She sat down at the end of the table, the father sat, the mom went off somewhere else in the house. I never saw her again. The little nephew was off somewhere in my peripheral, smiling and laughing, but never bold enough to come to the table.
When she'd exhausted herself, Deja's furry turned to tears, then pleas, "I didn't mean to lie to you. I was gonna tell you but I didn't know what to say!" I caught feelings for you and...blah, blah, blah..."
The whole time, I didn't say a word. I just looked at her, then looked into myself, angry that I'd allowed my own weakness and solitude to bring me to this place at that moment. When she finished, she looked at me and asked me, "Aren't you gonna SAY something?".
I didn't think that there was anything to say. I waited there for a long moment. It was the nephew that I noticed more than anything else. I just didn't feel ANYTHING, except the nephew made me smile. I don't know what it was. I just saw a little geek kid caught up in all this drama, and I remembered that i had that damn comic book in my hand.
I stood up and told Deja that I wasn't angry. I told her that none of it mattered. As the father escorted me to the door, I stopped and gave that kid my comic. He smiled, and for some reason, that stuck with me. Deja was saying something at my back, but I couldn't tell you what the words were. They just faded into the noise of that evening, just like everything else.
I walked to my car, saw Deja, her dad, and her nephew standing at the porch like something out of an old slave movie, got in my car and drove away.
She called a few more times that week, but I never answered, and the calls eventually tapered off.
We never spoke again.
It would be another year before I used Teledate again.
You should be an author,chief
I don't have a father. Never had a brother. Never had a best friend. I'm not close to my mother. Not close to anyone.
I can count on my hands the number of times my mother has hugged me. Rarely did she tell me that she loved me. I suffer(conquer) from depression.
This has shaped me into a person that has problems getting close to people. Opening up is a task for me because I really would rather avoid disappointment at all costs. So much so, that I have low or no expectations when entering situations or relationships.
I grew up feeling unwanted and as though I was an inconvenience. I had low confidence and even less love for self. I still carry this load with me. I never want to be an inconvenience to anyone, never one to think of myself as too significant, more often than not, putting others' interests over my own.
Don't misunderstand what kind of person I am, I still get plenty of pussy... its just never fulfilling. I get a lot of attention from women, its just that I know they don't really care. I know the feeling of financial security, but it is minute when compared to the feeling of never knowing unconditional love.
It wasn't until I removed myself from the toxic relationships that nurtured me in negativity that I realized my development had been arrested. Spiritually and emotionally, especially. I gained confidence, not from a strong family structure, but from my own capabilities. My broken spirit, from not having a support system, began to heal. Emotionally, though still an adolescent, I began to let go of my let downs and tend my wounds.
As a self-aware 26 year old black man, I know that I need to resolve these things before I become a father. Now is the time. But now I feel more lost than ever. I have done many things, but I feel as though I have nothing to show. I have put effort into so many things, only to accomplish very few of my goals. Loved so hard, only to lose. Given so much, only to be taken. Now I feel empty and spent. This only depresses me further.
I recently wrote down some things of importance to me in an effort to keep from makings decisions that will thwart me from my journey of success. I wrote down the people that have most affected me and how they affected my life, as well as 10 specific goals that I know are attainable and that would make me happy and proud of myself.
And finally, I wrote my epitaph.
"I want my life legacy to be that I ain't let life get the best of me."
I can count on my hands the number of times my mother has hugged me. Rarely did she tell me that she loved me. I suffer(conquer) from depression.
This has shaped me into a person that has problems getting close to people. Opening up is a task for me because I really would rather avoid disappointment at all costs. So much so, that I have low or no expectations when entering situations or relationships.
I grew up feeling unwanted and as though I was an inconvenience. I had low confidence and even less love for self. I still carry this load with me. I never want to be an inconvenience to anyone, never one to think of myself as too significant, more often than not, putting others' interests over my own.
Don't misunderstand what kind of person I am, I still get plenty of pussy... its just never fulfilling. I get a lot of attention from women, its just that I know they don't really care. I know the feeling of financial security, but it is minute when compared to the feeling of never knowing unconditional love.
It wasn't until I removed myself from the toxic relationships that nurtured me in negativity that I realized my development had been arrested. Spiritually and emotionally, especially. I gained confidence, not from a strong family structure, but from my own capabilities. My broken spirit, from not having a support system, began to heal. Emotionally, though still an adolescent, I began to let go of my let downs and tend my wounds.
As a self-aware 26 year old black man, I know that I need to resolve these things before I become a father. Now is the time. But now I feel more lost than ever. I have done many things, but I feel as though I have nothing to show. I have put effort into so many things, only to accomplish very few of my goals. Loved so hard, only to lose. Given so much, only to be taken. Now I feel empty and spent. This only depresses me further.
I recently wrote down some things of importance to me in an effort to keep from makings decisions that will thwart me from my journey of success. I wrote down the people that have most affected me and how they affected my life, as well as 10 specific goals that I know are attainable and that would make me happy and proud of myself.
And finally, I wrote my epitaph.
"I want my life legacy to be that I ain't let life get the best of me."
what... like jesus?!? are you the long lost brutha of jesus?
are you dead now - to be resurected later?!?
she's not as bad as she appears to be - you have any idea how many fathers/bruthas/uncles see their daughters/sisters/nieces on www.exploitedblackteens.com www.blackteenseeker.com www.blackamateurteens.com et cetera daily?!?
this shit is deep.
dont pay attention to some of these cornball niggas on here fam. I feel what you sayin, you still a young man so begin to live. 10 years from now, you will think back and marvel at how far you have come. Trust me on that one G.
I 'preciate the support y'all.
Life get hard, ya dig. It ain't a good feeling to know that you ain't got a safety net in case you fall.
Yea, she deserved it! I've done the TOOTHBRUSH on the PRIVATE AREAS before to this dumbass trick, except I didn't use my NUTSACK.... I ran the toothbrush to the "DARKSIDE"..awwww shit i laughed out loud while reading this...thats the most fucked up was to get somebody. she deserved it tho.
Damn man I think I am going to write a book or something on that story... sorry to hear about it for real... seems like your still dealing with it... professional help is not just for the rich or white folks man...
I JUST OPENED THIS THREAD FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY
WILD SHIT IN HERE
SO IMMA ADD A FEW........
WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14
I CALLED MYSELF DATING THIS CHICK THAT I HAD BEN IN GRADE SCHOOL WITH
BUT NOW WE WERE BOTH FRESHMEN AT DIFFERENT HIGH SCHOOLS.
ANYONE THATS FROM CHICAGO AND REMEMBERS THE ORIENTAL THEATER
DOWNTOWN KNOWS WHAT THAT SHIT AS LIKE IN 80 OR 81
SHIT WAS WILD AS FUCK AND A GANG HANGOUT.
SO IM WITH THIS CHICK AND THERES THIS BIG ASS GIRL IN FRONT OF US WILDIN OUT
AND THE CHICK IM WITH SAID SOME SHIT LIKE
"WHY DONT YOU SHUT UP AND MOVE "!
I WENT TO CVS AND GANG ACTIVITY WAS A DAILY THING
AND I WAS VERY FAMILIAR WITH HOW THE BIG CHICK WAS ACTIN AND WHAT SHE WAS SAYIN.
BIG GIRL TURNS AROUND AND ALL OF A SUDEN THERES LIKE 8 OF THESE
GANG BANGIN ASS BIG BITCHES STARIN US DOWN TALKIN BOUT "DISCIPLE !"
THE PLACE WAS CRAWLING WITH THESE MUTHAFUKAS.
I JUST KNEW WE WERE ABOUT TO GET THE SHOE LEATHER
I AINT GONNA LIE I WAS SCARED AS SHIT.
I WAS A SMALL DUDE BACK THEN TOO.......
MY GIRL SUDDENLY FIGURED OUT SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT.
AS SOON AS THEY FINISHED HUMILIATING AND CUSSING US OUT
WE GOT UP AND LEFT
THAT WAS THE LONGEST C.T.A. RIDE TO THE CRIB EVER.
Aint that the scene from "Cooley High"? thats what I thought when I heard this story . I had something like this happen to me in D.C.
Hang in there, champ. Get some friends and a good woman (but make sure you're looking for a good woman) to build that safety net (emotional and financial).
Dawg... Murder has no statutes of limations... I wouldn't have posted this one!!
I have no ill will towards that brawd now. I've moved on with my life and couldn't give two rat's asses about her or what she does now. If you would have asked me back in the day, that might have been a different story, but now, 12 years later, it's nothing to me but a story.
I can't believe I spent my entire fathers day reading this whole thread
heres mine...
about 3 years back an ex boyfrieend of mine won some type of lottery...he told me his fantasy was to fuck on a bed full of cash and wanted to know if i would be down
at the time he had a girlfriend...and we had not messed around since we were together
i told him no cause i didnt want to be a homewrecker...and something about that situation made me feel like a whore
the confession is i wish i would have done it
about 3 years back an ex boyfrieend of mine won some type of lottery...he told me his fantasy was to fuck on a bed full of cash and wanted to know if i would be down
at the time he had a girlfriend...and we had not messed around since we were together
i told him no cause i didnt want to be a homewrecker...and something about that situation made me feel like a whore
the confession is i wish i would have done it
Been having flashbacks lately. When I was in college round 2000, AIM was the shit. Had new bitches chirping me daily and I would drive from Kent to BG to Wright St, getting my college fuck on (So stupid, I'm at OSU and we got the most hos PERIOD). So One day this chick IM'n me and I wanted a picture and the bitch was bad... I'm trying to wife this ho online and she wants me 2 meet her at the Olive Garden in Westerville I think its been a while. Anyway I go, get a table and wait, nobody shows, call her she says she's on her way. After 30 minutes I'm like fuck it i'm out. I was in a co-ed dorm, the Towers if u been to OSU. I get back, sit down and here comes all the hoes from next door asking me about my date... I think for a second... who told u.... Bitches start cracking up, set me up, I dont think I talked 2 a random chick again on AIM. I was gullible as fuck
I remember the day I met my EX and I remember the Day I met her bestfriend (bout 3 weeks later) I love redbones, but her girl was chocolate, wit ass and titties, my ex just had ass. This still might be the sexiest chocolate bitch I ever seen in my life. Anyway I try 2 hook her up wit my niggaz, but i really wanna hit it and she wasnt feeling none of my niggaz. Well over time, dont even remember how it happened but my girl was outta town when my grandma died. She texts me telling me she's sorry 2 hear it, like she's sorry she didnt meet me 1st. I told her the same not thinking its a set up. I go over her house and nothing happenin because we're both nervous. Over time I get my girl pregnant... and her best friend too. Im not tellin my girl shit when 1 night she says, so u got A pregnant? I start laughin and say no, then she tells me how i wish i met her 1st, reciting our conversations and shit. I laugh and start putting my shit on since i aint live wit her i'm leaving. She starts crying, later has an abortion, and her best friend had one too. My girl stayed wit me due to the fact she's a tramp (she fucked my lawyer and her ex while we was together, her best friend told me after the fact) and they're friendship is over. i eventually leave my girl for her best friend, but for as fine as she is she is one of the most unmotivated ppl i've ever met. That and instead of thinking of doing for the kid she has, she wants a boyfriend or a husband. One of those bitches that needs a nigga in her life. To this day they still arent friends, mean mug each other on sight. the shit is stupid 2 me, my girl shoulda respected how her best friend kept it real. from that moment on i realized i could fuck any girl no matter what her relationship is 2 any girl
I remember the day I met my EX and I remember the Day I met her bestfriend (bout 3 weeks later) I love redbones, but her girl was chocolate, wit ass and titties, my ex just had ass. This still might be the sexiest chocolate bitch I ever seen in my life. Anyway I try 2 hook her up wit my niggaz, but i really wanna hit it and she wasnt feeling none of my niggaz. Well over time, dont even remember how it happened but my girl was outta town when my grandma died. She texts me telling me she's sorry 2 hear it, like she's sorry she didnt meet me 1st. I told her the same not thinking its a set up. I go over her house and nothing happenin because we're both nervous. Over time I get my girl pregnant... and her best friend too. Im not tellin my girl shit when 1 night she says, so u got A pregnant? I start laughin and say no, then she tells me how i wish i met her 1st, reciting our conversations and shit. I laugh and start putting my shit on since i aint live wit her i'm leaving. She starts crying, later has an abortion, and her best friend had one too. My girl stayed wit me due to the fact she's a tramp (she fucked my lawyer and her ex while we was together, her best friend told me after the fact) and they're friendship is over. i eventually leave my girl for her best friend, but for as fine as she is she is one of the most unmotivated ppl i've ever met. That and instead of thinking of doing for the kid she has, she wants a boyfriend or a husband. One of those bitches that needs a nigga in her life. To this day they still arent friends, mean mug each other on sight. the shit is stupid 2 me, my girl shoulda respected how her best friend kept it real. from that moment on i realized i could fuck any girl no matter what her relationship is 2 any girl
I've been lurking in this thread for a while, I guess it's finally time to post.
A few years back, when I'd finally gotten my own AOL account. I met (online) this army chick named Taleesha (ghetto. I know). She was real cool, a real sweetheart, we would talk just about every day. The conversations that I had with her were better than the conversations that I was having with the chicks that I actually knew.
I was really feeling her, she seemed real grounded. I liked her morals, we seemed to get along really well. But, we hadn't met. So I was playing it real cool. Anyway, one morning (3 AM), she signs on talking bout how she didn't feel well, and she keeps stepping away from the computer 10 to 15 minutes at a time. She's telling me that she keeps coughing up blood, and I'm telling her to go to the hospital. She finally listens to me, and leaves.
A week goes by, and I don't hear from her. No email. No calls. Another week goes by, same thing. At this point, I'm pissed. I'm thinking that she's being inconsiderate and not calling me back. And, I'm mad cuz I'm worrying about her and I'm telling myself that she's just playing a game. Finally after the third week, she signs on. By then I'm a lil frantic. And, I'm pissed. Turns out it was her sister who signed on to her screenname. She'd died the night that I was talking to her. Brain aneurysm. Least that's what I was told. I spoke to her sister for a while, and she told me more about Taleesha. The sister told me more about Taleesha, which made me feel her even more. And, I found out that Taleesha was pulling extra shifts, saving money to take a trip and surprise me. I'm in NYC, she was in SC.
That was the part that killed me. I think the whole thing was a lie, but I think that the only reason why I think it was a lie, is because it's just easier that way.
A few years back, when I'd finally gotten my own AOL account. I met (online) this army chick named Taleesha (ghetto. I know). She was real cool, a real sweetheart, we would talk just about every day. The conversations that I had with her were better than the conversations that I was having with the chicks that I actually knew.
I was really feeling her, she seemed real grounded. I liked her morals, we seemed to get along really well. But, we hadn't met. So I was playing it real cool. Anyway, one morning (3 AM), she signs on talking bout how she didn't feel well, and she keeps stepping away from the computer 10 to 15 minutes at a time. She's telling me that she keeps coughing up blood, and I'm telling her to go to the hospital. She finally listens to me, and leaves.
A week goes by, and I don't hear from her. No email. No calls. Another week goes by, same thing. At this point, I'm pissed. I'm thinking that she's being inconsiderate and not calling me back. And, I'm mad cuz I'm worrying about her and I'm telling myself that she's just playing a game. Finally after the third week, she signs on. By then I'm a lil frantic. And, I'm pissed. Turns out it was her sister who signed on to her screenname. She'd died the night that I was talking to her. Brain aneurysm. Least that's what I was told. I spoke to her sister for a while, and she told me more about Taleesha. The sister told me more about Taleesha, which made me feel her even more. And, I found out that Taleesha was pulling extra shifts, saving money to take a trip and surprise me. I'm in NYC, she was in SC.
That was the part that killed me. I think the whole thing was a lie, but I think that the only reason why I think it was a lie, is because it's just easier that way.
You turnin this into dear abby.
Dude, stop being blinded by her looks. Drop her. Quickly, don't bother dealing with a grown woman who can't take care of herself. But you ain't gonna listen to that. You gon chase after her "foine" sardine smellin ass.
With that said, find a nice way to tell her that her pussy stinks. She might not realize it
the room smelled like Sardiness? Oh Shit. U gotta be a G. IF u cool as u say u is wit her, tell her, its not like she dont know. She think its natural or cool cause no one has ever said anything. Chances r she got an infection, coochie dont smell like that unless its tainted.
U could be a jerk, Finger her and wipe it across her upper lip, bet she get the point then
Bruh, me and u got a lot in common, for real, look at it this way - the universe may be totally black and dark with only a few specks of light in between the dark, so what's left? Our choices mayne. Only you hold power over the parts of u that really matter, your spirit and ur mind. Sounds to me like u suffer because u love or feel deeply about many things and THAT is never a bad thing bruh, it's better than the alternative - feeling totally nothing, and I've been there before, square your shoulders and keep soldiering bruh, peace.
Anytime you need to vent or talk I am a pm box away. Keep your head up sweetie
this thread jus made my day.