Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal?

[largebillsonlyplease]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Man I'm still in it, I graduated, waited damn near a year to get a job, of which was for peanuts, he let me go because of jelousy, and ego, I still live on moms couch, still looking for a job,in my field, I got a kid on the way and a fiancé, shits rough man, I catch myself with tears in my eyes frustrated because it's like the harder I try, the more no's I get, they say it gets better, I am waiting for my break through it's not like I got cloudy piss, a record, or something, I just don't know

we gotta jump through hoops. just keep going no matter what. the only way you can get what you want is to try. that's it. keep trying it will happen. give up and it never will.

 

[DC_Dude]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Yeah just pray and meditate. I know one thing that helps when i am stressed in pumping iron. Take the stress out on some weights. Go for a quick run outside this evening.

 

[Flawless]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

You don't complain when everything is going well so don't complain when it goes bad

 

[sherminator]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

we gotta jump through hoops. just keep going no matter what. the only way you can get what you want is to try. that's it. keep trying it will happen. give up and it never will.

Thank you sir for your words

 

[II Dxnum]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

stay strong, sherm

 

[Amajorfucup]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

We all been there. Some more than others.. Without being too long winded, ive found that meditation, decent diet, and moderate exercise are so fucking helpful man. Shit sounds cliche but they are key. One thing stress does is fucks up your hormones and body chemistry. And meditation/diet/exercise all help relegate both while also reducing stress. Finding the root cause is necessary next. And accepting the aspect of it we cant change and just letting it go. Sometimes you just gotta take the L and move on fam. And then planning to correct and attack the aspects we can change. Also gotta find your motivation man... Be it your beautiful kids, revenge through success, money, better quality of life etc... Motivation helps with focus and drive.

Lastly man, you just gotta be thankful for the aspects of your life that arent fucked up. Truly knowing shit could be worse gives perspective and hope.

Its a moment in time man. You'll make it through fam.

 

[dirkthesuave]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I've been more stressed at this point in my life than any other. Daughter just turned two. My stepson is starting high school in September. Stepdaughter has all sorts of mental issues, and her mother can't get tough with her. And, I can do little about it because technically, she ain't my daughter. Two women. Bouncing back and forth between them, jumping from one argument with one to an argument with another. Two hour commute daily. And, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, dealing with mistakes in my youth. Shit is crazy.

Job doesn't cover all the bills, if it wasn't for my side hustle, I would have drowned a long time ago. I'm going from check to check, and at the end of the day, I have little money for myself. Let alone enough to pay off my debts.

Just got to keep going. Here's what helps me:
1. Stress relief. Sex. Punching bag. Treadmill. Either one helps me to zone out. Afterwards, I feel better. I'm hitting the bag tonight, looking forward to it.

2. Discipline. The only way to survive. I'm working on tightening my budget, and not spending on frivolous shit.

3. Grind. Life isn't a movie. Some people get huge breaks, most of us get smaller breaks. Take advantage of it, remember that in order for anything to change, you have to work at it consistently.

4. Talking about it helps. Especially to elders, sometimes they have an immediate answer to what's bothering you cause they already agonized over it.

5. Stereotypes. Funny, but the fact that I've been taught that a man has to be strong, keeps me there when all else fails. When none of the above works, I suck it up, and go through steps one through four.

6. Strength. Understand that the American definition of strength is bullshit.

7. Failure. It's ok to fail. You WILL fail at one point in your life. It's ok to be broken up about it, even to cry about it. Even if you got to go off by yourself ( a dark bathroom with the shower running helps ) and take a few minutes to get yourself together. Tell people that you ate some bad Mexican food or something. It's ok to fail. It's NOT ok to quit.


Shit happens. We won't all be rich, we won't all have expensive clothes or cars. But, we CAN be better men. We can't control everything, but we can control ourselves.

we're built for this shit.


any other group of people men or women dealing with the things our men and women deal with...things that don't even cross other peoples minds...they'd fold under the pressure

Yoooo...I was intending to respond to this earlier this morning but got caught up. At this point, don't have much new to add but it's good to see brothas uplifting one another here. To often I see some of the negative stuff we post on here towards each other but this post. ...life happens and we're guaranteed some falls- especially black men. It's hard to stand back up sometimes but as someone else said, we're most capable and built for the pressure. Keep going with confidence and assurance that all will be well eventually. When you give in is when you lose.

Peace.

 

[playahaitian]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Yoooo...I was intending to respond to this earlier this morning but got caught up. At this point, don't have much new to add but it's good to see brothas uplifting one another here. To often I see some of the negative stuff we post on here towards each other but this post. ...life happens and we're guaranteed some falls- especially black men. It's hard to stand back up sometimes but as someone else said, we're most capable and built for the pressure. Keep going with confidence and assurance that all will be well eventually. When you give in is when you lose.

Peace.

thanks

 

[J.E.T.S]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Don't give a fuck bro ... that's the mentality I adopted when things hit the fan for me. I told myself if I'm gonna be homeless, I'm going to be one hell of a homeless person that this world had ever seen.

 

[playahaitian]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Don't give a fuck bro ... that's the mentality I adopted when things hit the fan for me. I told myself if I'm gonna be homeless, I'm going to be one hell of a homeless person that this world had ever seen.

respect

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Don't get me started.......

 

[kdogg3270]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Roughly 5 years ago in the course of one month...

-I got wrongfully terminated from my job during the great rescission

-Had a huge falling out with my lady at the time

-Had to resort to living in my truck/on by man's couch off and on for 6 months.

-Baby on the way, with the same women who I bad a falling out with, whose threatening to sue me (she was a lawyer...I sure do pick em!) every other week.

-Emptied out my 401k to live and go to finish up my degree I was hours out on.

This went on every day for two fucking years.

I dealt with it the same way you'd eat an elephant...one bite at a time. Break the issue down into smaller component that you can handle that day, hell that hour. Small victories add up.


Two things I learned....


-When your going through hell KEEP GOING. It will eventually turn around.

-However bad you have it someone has it worse than you. There are people whose only wish is to not be facing death everyday.







* two cents *

good post

 

[keone]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

All i need is 12 Almonds

 

[jagu]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

We all been there. Some more than others.. Without being too long winded, ive found that meditation, decent diet, and moderate exercise are so fucking helpful man. Shit sounds cliche but they are key. One thing stress does is fucks up your hormones and body chemistry. And meditation/diet/exercise all help relegate both while also reducing stress. Finding the root cause is necessary next. And accepting the aspect of it we cant change and just letting it go. Sometimes you just gotta take the L and move on fam. And then planning to correct and attack the aspects we can change. Also gotta find your motivation man... Be it your beautiful kids, revenge through success, money, better quality of life etc... Motivation helps with focus and drive.

Lastly man, you just gotta be thankful for the aspects of your life that arent fucked up. Truly knowing shit could be worse gives perspective and hope.

Its a moment in time man. You'll make it through fam.

True

Don't give a fuck bro ... that's the mentality I adopted when things hit the fan for me. I told myself if I'm gonna be homeless, I'm going to be one hell of a homeless person that this world had ever seen.

Just curious, how the hell do you do that?

 

[Lord Vicious]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

It happens to the best of us.

I was working 2 jobs,came home to find my wife and kids gone one night.Mind you,i
was working 2 jobs,taking care of my kids and only getting like 3 hours of sleep a
day so,i was doing nothing wrong.End up being homeless from that situation.But just
kept pushing and bounced back.That was years ago and it seems like the last couple
of years,things are starting to head down hill again.I guess the only thing you
can do is keep your head down and keep grinding.Things will fall into place when
they're meant to.I honestly believe you can only get stronger when you face
conflict\difficulties head on.There's no other way to survive because praying
to god is like sending a letter to Santa Claus.Nothing gets done.(IMO)

Peace

 

[jagu]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

It happens to the best of us.

I was working 2 jobs,came home to find my wife and kids gone one night.Mind you,i
was working 2 jobs,taking care of my kids and only getting like 3 hours of sleep a
day so,i was doing nothing wrong.End up being homeless from that situation.But just
kept pushing and bounced back.That was years ago and it seems like the last couple
of years,things are starting to head down hill again.I guess the only thing you
can do is keep your head down and keep grinding.Things will fall into place when
they're meant to.I honestly believe you can only get stronger when you face
conflict\difficulties head on.There's no other way to survive because praying
to god is like sending a letter to Santa Claus.Nothing gets done.(IMO)

Peace

Wow, some of you guys have gone through some horrible shit. You must have done something wrong for that to happen.

 

[Lord Vicious]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Wow, some of you guys have gone through some horrible shit. You must have done something wrong for that to happen.

Yeah i was working two jobs to provide for her and my kids so i wasn't
around a lot.So she was lonely and decided to leave me for someone she
met online.


Peace

 

[big pimp]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Subs.

 

[TRUFICTION]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

As an older cat , I can tell yall from experience.
There is no such thing as bad luck ....there are only events
and sometimes events come one after another
which can make them a little harder to overcome immediately.
Some of these lessons and experiences are necessary for the future
And are preparation for the real things that are to come for us good and bad.
Adversity builds humility, appreciation, character and resilience.
EVERYONE....goes through shit. I dont care who you are or how old you are.
The things we call bad are not necessarily bad or good ...they just ARE.
These are life's tests to see what we are made of
We will all fall......... but the fall is not the problem
Its when you dont/wont get back up.

Time heals all things.
The only reason we hurt and think we are really going through some shit
is because its all new. After you go through some shit more than once or hear someone elses shit thats worse than yours you feel very different about yours.
Lift your head and press forward
It may not go as fast as you like but dont stop
no matter how slow it seems KEEP GOING FORWARD........

 

[8/11Streetz]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

i simply just stop giving a flying fuck!



let me tell you right after i graduated around the end of 2013 and damn near all of 2014 was a bust!

I won't get into detail but shit had me literally balding i was stressing so much. I got laided off and that was like the icing on the cake. I literally was days from eviction about 3 months in a row but i kept my game face on and pulled through.

One day i woke up and i said fuck it. I know it sounds crazy but i literally poured me a glass of Hen sat on my balcony and just watched the clouds go by. I told myself as long as Im str8 and i got my car to get me to interviews Ill be fine.
I worked my way up but I'm still recovering from getting laid off last yr.

Once 2015 came i said NO MORE! No more stressing and worrying about shit that was beyond my control. Ill just give it my all and if it don't work fuck it.


I can't even began to tell you how much better i felt when i just let all that shit go.

 

[TRUFICTION]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

ALWAYS REMEMBER
However bad some shit seems to be
It can always get a whole lot worse.

 

[8/11Streetz]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Man I'm still in it, I graduated, waited damn near a year to get a job, of which was for peanuts, he let me go because of jelousy, and ego, I still live on moms couch, still looking for a job,in my field, I got a kid on the way and a fiancé, shits rough man, I catch myself with tears in my eyes frustrated because it's like the harder I try, the more no's I get, they say it gets better, I am waiting for my break through it's not like I got cloudy piss, a record, or something, I just don't know

Same here now I'm working two jobs, one kinda in my field the other one high end retail dealing with a lot of fucked up crackers. Shit i would quit but I'm scared i might get laid off again.........So i rather deal with two jobs..........

 

[Notorious P.I.M.P.]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Tough times don't last, Tough people do!

 

[nyghtcrawler]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Roughly 5 years ago in the course of one month...

-
Two things I learned....


-When your going through hell KEEP GOING. It will eventually turn around.

-However bad you have it someone has it worse than you. There are people whose only wish is to not be facing death everyday.

I preach these same two principals to my kids all the time.

 

[Sampson]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Tough times don't last, Tough people do!

Very profound.

Not much else to add, everyone here hit the nail on the head.

 

[4 Dimensional]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

"Shit has no choice, but to work out."

I've stood by this through all the stress I went through. Life is like a basketball game when a player get injured. It's fucked up that he got hurt, but who got next?

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Yeah i was working two jobs to provide for her and my kids so i wasn't
around a lot.So she was lonely and decided to leave me for someone she
met online.


Peace

ouch. damn.

sorry

 

[Notorious P.I.M.P.]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

<h4>I guess there is a time when even a donkey isn't an ass any more</h4>


"One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to
come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement,he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.

With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!"

<h4> Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!</h4>

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

<h4>Enjoy Your Week! SHAKE IT OFF!</h4>

Hotep Wa Maat,
Rasta.

 

[Notorious P.I.M.P.]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

^^^^^^
Someone posted that years ago and I kept it.

 

[4 Dimensional]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

<h4>I guess there is a time when even a donkey isn't an ass any more</h4>


"One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to
come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement,he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.

With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!"

<h4> Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!</h4>

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

<h4>Enjoy Your Week! SHAKE IT OFF!</h4>

Hotep Wa Maat,
Rasta.

that's G

 

[II Dxnum]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Yeah i was working two jobs to provide for her and my kids so i wasn't
around a lot.So she was lonely and decided to leave me for someone she
met online.


Peace

wow. damn. I think I had harsh words for you in the past but I am t truly sorry you had to go through that.

 

[rage]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Yeah i was working two jobs to provide for her and my kids so i wasn't
around a lot.So she was lonely and decided to leave me for someone she
met online.


Peace

WoW, sorry to hear that brother,keep your head up.

 

[Lord Vicious]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

ouch. damn.

sorry

wow. damn. I think I had harsh words for you in the past but I am t truly sorry you had to go through that.

WoW, sorry to hear that brother,keep your head up.

Appreciate it fellas.
I'm sure it may have happened to a few other cats but,it happens.
Almost killed me but i came out stronger in the end.
Just have to keep it movin and let the past be the past.

Peace

 

[KnownUnknown]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

First off, sorry to the OP and all the others that are going through some real. Generally when stress hits me, I double down on my efforts. My mentality is that of an engineer at heart - there is ALWAYS a solution. But not everybody is built like that, so I'll say this:

Find something to do that you like doing that will take your mind away from the world even for a few.

For example, I've never believed in the American way of slaving all year to binge on a 2 week vacation somewhere at the end of the summer. What do I do? I go on a "vacation" every week.

See, I love dancehall (I'm Jamaican) so I have my spot in DC that I go to nearly weekly and I dance. That music hits me in my soul. I have other brederins (fellas) that I dance with (no homo) and when we busting the latest moves the world disappears. For 2 hours every week, I'm back in
Jamaica.

All the other shit just melts away. That's my escape. Find one. It can be anything. It's judgement free.

PS: my other escape is motorcycle riding. But that's different.


Sent from my Cerebrum.

 

[LennyNero1972]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Since 2011 hell yes, bitched about it enough, however I've learned to calm down and just roll with the punches. Shit is just getting too deep for ere'body.