How black people can emotionally protect themselves in the age of #BlackLivesMatter

Mello Mello

Ballz of Adamantium
BGOL Investor

How to Manage Your Anger at Work

Summary.
We’re all a little angrier these days. The sustained level of stress and fear you experience every day when you’re under pressure depletes your emotional resources, making you much more likely to get mad, even at minor provocations. While we’re often told that anger is harmful, irrational, and should be suppressed, there are ways to channel it productively. Research shows that getting mad can spark creativity, motivate you to advocate for yourself, and help you perform better in competitive circumstances. The authors offer six strategies to use anger in more positive ways, including acknowledging that a violation took place, identifying the specific needs behind your emotion, and avoiding excessive venting.

After two years of navigating a global pandemic, tensions are high. While conducting research for our book Big Feelings, we heard from readers who told us that they’d recently lost their cool over all kinds of seemingly small triggers: inconsistent WiFi, an email from their boss that just read “?,” or a coworker pinging them at 4:45 pm asking for a “quick favor.”


When we face chronic stress or trauma, our brain “rewires the rage circuits,” explains neuroscientist R. Douglas Fields. In other words, the sustained level of stress and fear you experience every day when you’re under pressure depletes your emotional resources, making you much more likely to get mad, even at minor provocations.


Our emotional outbursts can be upsetting, especially because we often receive messages that anger is harmful, irrational, and should be suppressed. But anger isn’t inherently bad (and suppressing it isn’t good for you or the people around you). In fact, if you know how to channel it, it can serve you. “Anger is pain’s bodyguard,” writes author David Kessler.


Take Pixar executive Brad Bird, who intentionally recruited frustrated animators to work on a new film because he believed they were more likely to change things for the better. The result? The Incredibles, a movie that broke box office records.


If you want to channel your anger in more positive ways, here are six things you can do.

Acknowledge that a violation took place.

We often try to immediately stamp out our feelings to avoid appearing upset. But if you’re hurt because of an unfair decision or made to feel unworthy because someone continuously excludes you (or worse), you’re allowed to feel unapologetically angry. Don’t immediately take your emotions out on another person, but acknowledge what you’re feeling. In fact, research shows that, when it’s justified, anger is a much healthier response than fear because it triggers feelings of certainty and control, which are less likely to lead to the adverse effects of stress like high blood pressure or high stress hormone secretion.


Even if the event that triggered your anger seems minor on the surface, the sparks that cause us to internally explode usually have kindling. For example, maybe the co-worker we mentioned earlier asking for a “quick favor” at the end of the day has a history of handing their work off to others or unnecessarily emailing during off-hours.

Avoid excessive venting.

Blowing off steam is not as productive as you might think, even though it’s long been presented as a cathartic activity. (Take, for example, the proliferation of “anger rooms,” where you can pay to smash TVs and dinner plates with a baseball bat.) Research shows that this type of “destruction therapy” causes your anger to escalate rather than diminish. Psychologist Brad J. Bushman studied people who used a punching bag to let out their anger, and found that “doing nothing at all was more effective” at diffusing rage.


Similarly, chronic venting, where you rehash the same problems without trying to understand or solve them, has also been shown to make both you and the people listening to you feel worse. One of our readers, Paula, told us, “I finally had to put a limit on how much I trash-talked with co-workers. I found that using the time to instead focus on how I could learn or improve made me feel a lot better.”

Identify the specific needs behind your emotion.

Research shows that focusing your attention on the need behind what you feel allows you to take a more objective, detached look at the situation — and to better protect your emotional well-being.


A few questions that might help you clarify the reason(s) you’re mad:


  • What triggered my anger?
  • What feelings are underneath my anger? Perhaps fear or powerlessness?
  • What do I need to be okay right now?
  • What longer-term outcome would make me feel better?
  • What steps can I take towards that outcome?
  • For each of those steps, what do I risk and what do I gain?

For many people, the emotion behind anger is fear. You might be afraid of being powerless or having something you care about taken away or go wrong. In fact, philosopher Martha Nussbaum even argues that the most common political emotion is fear, which politicians pray on to stoke anger and action.

If you can, talk about your emotions — without getting emotional.

We recommend first giving yourself time to calm down before you make any major moves. When we’re upset, we’re less able to think strategically. If your heart is racing or your fists are clenched, pause for a few minutes. Liz has learned to evaluate her anger on a scale from 1 (irritated) to 10 (enraged), and aims to wait until she’s settled down to a 3 or 4 before taking action.


If your anger was triggered by someone else’s anger, you may want to share how their actions affected you. To prepare for that conversation, clarify your goal, what you’d like to say, and when you’ll say it. This simple formula can be helpful: “When you_____, I feel _______.”


While we were leading a corporate workshop in early 2020, a woman asked what to do when her boss yelled at her. Another participant spoke up. “I’m an executive assistant, and my boss used to frequently yell at me, even when he wasn’t angry at me but was angry about something else,” she told the group. “It would make me flustered, and then frustrated that he was making me flustered. One day I finally said to him, ‘I know that you’re upset right now, but when you yell at me, I’m not able to focus on my work.’” Her boss apologized and realized that he was inadvertently hurting her performance. His outbursts became much less frequent.

If you can’t communicate your anger, indirectly address your needs.

Sometimes, you’ll have to face the ugly truth that you’re angry because of something you can’t change. In those instances, look for ways to remove yourself from the situation or, if you can’t walk away, to indirectly address your needs (e.g. by seeking out support from friends or a therapist).


Rachel, one of our readers we spoke with last year as part of our research, felt powerless in the face of a difficult boss, but couldn’t quit their job right away. “His unrealistic expectations and authoritarian leadership style left me in a constant cycle of stress and inadequacy,” they told us. Rachel started to take small steps to boost their self-confidence and feel more valued at work. First, they reduced how much they interacted with their boss. “I also built a network of mentors and colleagues who knew me and appreciated me in ways my boss didn’t,” they said. “That helped me prevent his feedback from sabotaging my self-worth.”

Channel your anger energy strategically.

For a long time, Rutgers professor Dr. Brittney Cooper thought she needed to be in control of her emotions to be respected — and to avoid being labeled as an “angry Black woman.” But that changed when one of her students told her, “I love to listen to you lecture because your lectures [are filled with…] the most eloquent rage.” The authenticity of Dr. Cooper’s emotion made her students pay attention. Now she thinks of anger as a superpower that can give Black women the strength to fight injustice.


Research backs Cooper up. If we tap into it, anger can actually increase our confidence and make us certain that we are capable and strong. Researchers found that people who are angry also hold the belief that they will prevail under any circumstances. During U.S. Navy SEAL training, new recruits learn that they can use the intense emotions and adrenaline that come from rage to give them energy when they face dangerous circumstances.


You can use this same strategy and use anger as the motivation to effectively advocate for yourself. Say you feel you deserve a promotion but have been scared to ask. Think to yourself: What would I do if I were the type of person who got angry about this? Or what would I suggest a friend do in this situation if I were angry on their behalf?


Most of us are raised to equate anger with out-of-control meltdowns. But this emotion is an important signal that something is wrong. And, harnessed effectively, it can give us the strength we need to make things right.

This was good. I needed this, thanks helps me understand where people have been emotionally as well as myself. Been in 3 fights at work over the last 3 years just beat the most recent case, thank God. But this sheds some light on why perhaps coworkers have been responding the way they have. A lot of emotional venting all over. I’m all for deescalating violence however I’m a strong believer in people learn differently some deescalation tactics work others must learn the hard way.
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
http://www.respectyourstruggle.com/2016/03/10-daily-positive-affirmations-for.html

10 Daily Positive Affirmations For Black Lives When They Forget That They Matter



Every morning when I rise I make it a duty to be aware of where I am in space and time and to emit a spirit of gratitude and graciousness back towards the universe. I believe rising with a sense of mindfulness helps to alleviate the calm, but also helps with putting on my shield of armor for the battles that the average human being has to face in this world.

Whether it be through scripture reading, meditation, daily devotionals or a calming song- I make it an obligation to keep peace orbiting around me as I prepare for whatever storms, obstacles, or trials that may await me on my journey.

As a black woman, I feel as if I have to be more in tune with my humanness- I can’t just focus on my soul, but the body that houses it and the flesh that gives it substance. With the constant degradation of black bodies, the continuous stream of micro-aggressions, and the same song being sung declaring we shall overcome- yet sometimes it feels like we haven’t gotten there yet, can take a toll on the human psyche and how one perceives oneself and dwells within this world.

The energies that orbit around us- bad or good, can weigh heavy on a persons spirit and when they are compartmentalized, rather than warded off, they can become an emotional burden and a soul-sucking force. Replenishing yourself is necessary for practicing the art of compassion and cultivating a deeper sense of love towards yourself. In a world that may try to oppress, marginalize, devalue or strip you of your worth- it is your duty to keep your foundations solid and heed not to the falsehoods that try to redefine your truths.
Practicing meditation and speaking positive affirmations over your life are useful tools that can better your perception of self and better your self-esteem. The power behind these two practices is the tongue- that is your weapon of warfare. What you speak into the atmosphere, shall become one with the atmosphere, and I believe rising up in the morning and declaring your truths are a great way to keep you balanced and will attribute to how you set the tone for the rest of your day.

Here are 10 positive affirmations [or meditations] every young black soul needs to remember:
  1. I am enough- I will not conform or lesser my standards to appease or appeal to anyone who does not accept me for who I am and what I am.
  2. I am worthy- the color of my skin is not definitive of where I belong in this world and no one will be allowed to disregard my presence, or silence my voice, based on the color of my flesh.
  3. I will surround myself with positive people- if there is anyone in my life that tries to disturb or threaten my peace, I will compassionately remove him or her from my space and focus on the souls whom I share a genuine connection with.
  4. I am allowed to acknowledge all that makes me human- I give myself permission to weep and to experience sorrow, to laugh or to cry, to make mistakes or feel failure, to grieve and to praise, and I will recognize my humanness and be submerged in all its glory.
  5. My body is celestial- my temple is an exhibit of Gods art form. His hands have crafted me with goodness in mind and intricate detail. I exhibit a touch of warmth- the sun has kissed my flesh and I am the Polaris in a bed full of stars whom covet my light- My being will be respected, I refuse to be another tossed black body.
  6. I will allow myself to evolve- I will trust my process and applaud myself for my progress. I am trying- and I will recognize that that is enough.
  7. I will recognize my good qualities- I am an imperfect person but I am full of grace, wisdom, beauty and knowledge. I will not let my insecurities ring louder than my worth.
  8. I am deserving of respect- I practice kindness, I cultivate love towards others and I have a right to expect that same energy to be emitted back to me. Being treated like a human is not too much to ask for- therefore, I will make my petition known unapologetically.
  9. I will not conform to the ways of my enemies- I will uphold my virtues and I will not stoop down to the negative actions or opinions from folks who do not walk in my light.
  10. I will love myself unconditionally- the love that I cultivate towards myself will be the calm within my storms. My life is deserving of its best chance, and I will walk on the path that promotes inner healing. I will stay grounded and rooted in the fruit of internal love, and I will not be swayed to believe less of myself or what I am capable of becoming.
Find your inner voice and speak nourishment into your life. Take control of your unconscious mind and find your calm. Reconnect with the parts of you that have gotten lost in the whirlwind of life, focus on your breaths and begin the process of drowning out the noise around you as focus on the voice that rings within.
To me this is all bullshit, that will only loop you in a vicious cycle of disappointment.
The reason why is at best it will only change your attitude, not your actions.
If you really want self-improvement to do something, master something, learn something, work out, get out of the house, and in your actions, you will earn the respect you want, you will feel good about yourself for what you accomplished and not on bullshit you convinced yourself you are worth.
You see people who are actually accomplished in life, don't have to tell themselves that crap, they already know it, and if anything they have to convince themselves not to be too much into themselves. While the ones who are underachievers tend to be the ones down on themselves, not realizing that their is a correlation between what they do and how they feel.
I really get what you are trying to accomplish, but in the real world that shit is short-term, but as soon as someone you dig rejects this newfound you, chances are you will spiral back down to earth even harder.
Think of it like a junkie trying to get off of drugs, sure it's ok to change their attitude about being a junkie, but the meat and potatoes is changing their behavior with positive things to do besides getting high. In my opinion, we as a race, place way too much onus on religion and quick fix positively crap and too little on doing actual things that prevent you from feeling the way you want. Once you are emotionally stable, then it becomes easier to deal with all the bullshit that comes with living in this day and age, failing to do so will only make you an emotional puppet for the media and others to manipulate, and this could lead to you losing your mind. I ought to know because I saw it happen firsthand to my father, who was big into that crap, but all that did was lead to depression, delusion, humiliation, isolation, and eventually his life.
 

mailboxpimp

Rising Star
BGOL Patreon Investor
EXCELLENT POST
This should be in an exclusive mental health section of the board.
how is it possible that we do not have a mental health section???????
 

CoTtOnMoUf

DUMBED DOWN TO BLEND IN
BGOL Legend
To me this is all bullshit, that will only loop you in a vicious cycle of disappointment.
The reason why is at best it will only change your attitude, not your actions.
If you really want self-improvement to do something, master something, learn something, work out, get out of the house, and in your actions, you will earn the respect you want, you will feel good about yourself for what you accomplished and not on bullshit you convinced yourself you are worth.
You see people who are actually accomplished in life, don't have to tell themselves that crap, they already know it, and if anything they have to convince themselves not to be too much into themselves. While the ones who are underachievers tend to be the ones down on themselves, not realizing that their is a correlation between what they do and how they feel.
I really get what you are trying to accomplish, but in the real world that shit is short-term, but as soon as someone you dig rejects this newfound you, chances are you will spiral back down to earth even harder.
Think of it like a junkie trying to get off of drugs, sure it's ok to change their attitude about being a junkie, but the meat and potatoes is changing their behavior with positive things to do besides getting high. In my opinion, we as a race, place way too much onus on religion and quick fix positively crap and too little on doing actual things that prevent you from feeling the way you want. Once you are emotionally stable, then it becomes easier to deal with all the bullshit that comes with living in this day and age, failing to do so will only make you an emotional puppet for the media and others to manipulate, and this could lead to you losing your mind. I ought to know because I saw it happen firsthand to my father, who was big into that crap, but all that did was lead to depression, delusion, humiliation, isolation, and eventually his life.


I disagree.
 

CoTtOnMoUf

DUMBED DOWN TO BLEND IN
BGOL Legend
I respect that, but why?

I believe that we are what we think about. Daily positive affirmations are good for you. I make several affirmations when I'm in a deep meditative state which seems to help the affirmations "take" better.

I think, what and how you think, determines how your life will turn out. Winners thinks about and affirms winning while losers thinks about losing a lot. It seems too simple but that's how the mind works, imo.
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
I believe that we are what we think about. Daily positive affirmations are good for you. I make several affirmations when I'm in a deep meditative state which seems to help the affirmations "take" better.

I think, what and how you think, determines how your life will turn out. Winners thinks about and affirms winning while losers thinks about losing a lot. It seems too simple but that's how the mind works, imo.
There is nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself, but the best way to do it is by actually doing things that make you feel good.
For example, this is the same shit people like Lizzo keep selling us, instead of losing weight and doing shit to get the man they want, they rather pump themselves up with false bravado, thinking that this would actually translate into people liking her. Don't you think it's odd that most successful people use meditation to control their ego from getting too large while unsuccessful people do it to build up their ego? At the end of the day, if you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy and just as good as the white man, then perhaps you have real problems that you cannot wiggle out yourself. Pride is usually the result of doing something prideful, not a self-help magic motto, but even if it works, it's best to start doing things to substantiate the feeling, because if not, as I said before, you are setting yourself up for failure, this is why people who read self-help books and engage in new-age bullshit, rarely if ever look happy.
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
Please don't derail this thread. If something has been posted that is helpful, take it and use it. If its not helpful keep it moving. If you have something practical that comes under the heading of self-care, feel free to drop it, but I really don't care to see bickering back and forth because someone doesn't view these methods of coping as helpful because they do things differently. You can add content or make your own thread without disparaging the content in this one.
 

Ceenote

Thinkn with My 3rd Eye!
Platinum Member
I believe that we are what we think about. Daily positive affirmations are good for you. I make several affirmations when I'm in a deep meditative state which seems to help the affirmations "take" better.

I think, what and how you think, determines how your life will turn out. Winners thinks about and affirms winning while losers thinks about losing a lot. It seems too simple but that's how the mind works, imo.



 

Ceenote

Thinkn with My 3rd Eye!
Platinum Member
I'm not into the religion thing but his premise in the video is kinda the same concept.


Exactly! Im not into religion either... i just felt like this is an easy crossover for our people...who are... or anybody
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor

This sounds good for people who are looking for quick bs solutions for life but you cannot say I am immortal or I am a scientist and be one without do proper training, but it sounds good.
A more accurate description would be what people in the east believe, that is you are what you do.
So if you sit on your ass all day, then you are lazy, if you stay home doing nothing then you are boring and not living life to the fullest.
If you are emotionally drained by life, ask yourself what are you doing about being happy, not wave a wand over your head and declare I am happy.
P.S. do you think that someone in jail can simply say I am a free man and be free? Well you could but you'd only be kidding yourself!
Think about it, the church has made billions of dollars off of suckers off of keeping black folk feeling good just like a drug. But the catch is, just like drugs, these feeling of euphoria is short-lived, and pretty soon they are coming back for another hit.
Here is another video about the dangers of slogans, catchphrases, memes, group thinking, and cliques and how they relate to programming the mind.


 

Ceenote

Thinkn with My 3rd Eye!
Platinum Member
.
P.S. do you think that someone in jail can simply say I am a free man and be free?.

Yep... i believe so... if it doesnt work for u... sorry it aint for u! It aint for everyone.. this aint about me being right but its about finding something that is right for you!
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
Yep... i believe so... if it doesnt work for u... sorry it aint for u! It aint for everyone.. this aint about me being right but its about finding something that is right for you!
You can be mentally free, but in reality, you are still behind bars.
I get it, it's a million times better than being stuck with an institutionary mind, and if you are unfortunately to be locked down, and let's face it, this can make the difference between being a slave to your conditioning and being a thinking function individual. However, you are kidding yourself if you convince yourself that being mentally free is better than actually being free.
This brings me to the crux of my argument, we blacks are the masters of mental gymnastics, we are mental ballers, mental pimps, mental players, mental warriors, and mental great parents, but in reality, not so much.
It's to the point that churches, pimps, and even advertisements exploit this flaw in order to get us to do and buy things.
So to recap feeling and believing is better than not feeling and believing, but it's still a substitute for actually doing and being, and the only way you can actually be something is by action and doing. So while belief was tantamount during slavery, when we actually had very little to say about our conditioning, now that we are able to move around much better, our focus should be on doing things to make our conditioning better, for example learning how to build airplanes not believing we can fly! I admit the mindset of doing is much more difficult and requires a lifelong amount of dedication and skill, but the rewards are unmatched by simply hoping, praying, and believing.
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
How this relates to the O.P.'s topic, is to get over the feeling of despair and hopelessness it's best to be proactive and as hands-on as possible while avoiding quick feel-good solutions that are often shallow, short lasting, and highly addictive.
Instead, go out and enjoy life, connect with your inner child, go to the beach, go biking, take a road trip, travel, paint, draw, take up yoga, a dance class, a good fuck or whatever gets you in that child's mind of smiling and being truly happy.
Let's face it, the older you get life becomes a complicated vicious cycle of trying to pay the bills while juggling all of the bullshit that comes with it.
The key is to focus on doing rather than being, because just as easy it is to trick your mind into believing you're happy and feeling great, life frustrations can just as easily convince you that life is hopeless, mundane, and gray. So go out enjoy life, and allow your brain's natural chemical composition to increase dopamine production which will better your mood. The beauty of all of this is, is the more you do the more you want to do and the easier it would become to do the things you like doing.
Also, you should consider professional counseling (if you haven't already) for any assistance needed to get you back on track.
 

dHustla

Rising Star
Registered
http://www.thefader.com/2016/07/06/randi-gloss-black-self-care

The creator of the social awareness brand GLOSSRAGS shares some ways to remain well despite the devastation of police killings in the black community.



View attachment 372


On Tuesday in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 37 year-old, father of five, Alton Sterling was shot and killed by police officers in front of a convenience store. After harrowing video footage of the shooting was released to the public, the atmosphere on social media became instantly despairing.

Black Lives Matter activist and creator of the socially charged brand GLOSSRAGS, Randi Gloss has been on the front lines as an advocate for justice against police violence against the black community since 2012 and she's coped with quite a lot of loss. Her brand's most coveted item is a shirt that lists the names of victims of U.S. police violence. Over the past year, the 25 year-old change maker has continued to add more names to the shirt as more black people have been killed by police officers across the nation.

Gloss spoke to The FADER on Wednesday morning over the phone from Washington D.C. She explained how to honor wellness in mourning and ways that black people can indulge in self-care through times of black trauma and death.






RANDI GLOSS: I think in some ways it feels like we’re on a sinking ship and that many of us feel like we’re drowning in this sorrow or in so many ways being water boarded. Like our black skin is holding us hostage and America is constantly washing us, suffocating us and throwing buckets of trauma down our throats over and over again to the point where we’re gasping for air. We’re trying to come to the surface. It feels like we’re drowning in our own blood because every time we turn around it’s somebody new. I was just saying how this summer has been relatively quiet and this year has been quiet compared to last year. I think by May of last year, I had added another four or five names [to the shirts] because there were so many people. This year has been a lot different but it was only a matter of time.

I had to put my head down this morning. I got up early to do my dishes and I had to meditate on Chance The Rapper’s “How Great.” I had it on repeat and I had put both my hands on the sink and put my head down and I was like, “Wow, I might have to add a name.”

I was talking to Netta this morning and I was saying how engaging with Alton Sterling’s death is like looking into water, taking a deep breath, diving deep and taking the plunge again.

I have the picture in my head of Harry Potter when he had to go into that water and all the skeletons are trying to pull him under with Dumbledore. I was on the sideline. I was on the shore. Like, “Alright I can breathe.”

I can’t sit this one out because there have been names that I haven’t been engaging. I haven’t been engrossing myself in that trauma because I’m still trying to recover from so many others. That’s not apathy but in some ways that can be a means of self-care. It’s not clicking on every single name that’s been hashtagged because that really can drag you down. This death really brought me back into the fold again because it’s just so blatant.



What social media does so well, especially Twitter and Instagram, is it gives us the platform to just express ourselves, our feelings, our sadness. I would encourage people to keep speaking out about that. Get together and have conversations in person. Having the physical presence of someone next to you kind of serves to fill that void. It’s weird thinking about how you fill the void for the loss of somebody that you’ve never even met. That’s a really challenging question and phenomena or an epidemic even because it keeps happening.

Today is July 6th—we’re just about a week away from [the one year anniversary of] Sandra Bland’s murder. Then we have [the two year anniversary of] Eric Garner and Mike Brown. So, what’s left of the summer will also be a lot of mourning. It’s something to be cognizant of because for me, it will dictate my mood, it will drain some of my energy. Gathering together in spaces where we can have conversations or even spaces where we can laugh because we still have to celebrate the black boys and the black girls and the black fathers and mothers who are still alive. We have to celebrate that there is black life on this earth. Maybe it’s not something that is completely free to be, but there still is black life worth celebrating and that’s something we have to remind ourselves of.

If we’re always focusing on the loss or we lose ourselves in the loss, in the mourning and the trauma, we’ll forget that we have lives that are still very much worth living and that there is some joy in being black and alive in 2016.
I bought one of these shirts
 

dHustla

Rising Star
Registered
You can be mentally free, but in reality, you are still behind bars.
I get it, it's a million times better than being stuck with an institutionary mind, and if you are unfortunately to be locked down, and let's face it, this can make the difference between being a slave to your conditioning and being a thinking function individual. However, you are kidding yourself if you convince yourself that being mentally free is better than actually being free.
This brings me to the crux of my argument, we blacks are the masters of mental gymnastics, we are mental ballers, mental pimps, mental players, mental warriors, and mental great parents, but in reality, not so much.
It's to the point that churches, pimps, and even advertisements exploit this flaw in order to get us to do and buy things.
So to recap feeling and believing is better than not feeling and believing, but it's still a substitute for actually doing and being, and the only way you can actually be something is by action and doing. So while belief was tantamount during slavery, when we actually had very little to say about our conditioning, now that we are able to move around much better, our focus should be on doing things to make our conditioning better, for example learning how to build airplanes not believing we can fly! I admit the mindset of doing is much more difficult and requires a lifelong amount of dedication and skill, but the rewards are unmatched by simply hoping, praying, and believing.
So many of us operate from our ego.
 

Ceenote

Thinkn with My 3rd Eye!
Platinum Member
This sounds good for people who are looking for quick bs solutions for life but you cannot say I am immortal or I am a scientist and be one without do proper training, but it sounds good.
A more accurate description would be what people in the east believe, that is you are what you do.
So if you sit on your ass all day, then you are lazy, if you stay home doing nothing then you are boring and not living life to the fullest.
If you are emotionally drained by life, ask yourself what are you doing about being happy, not wave a wand over your head and declare I am happy.
P.S. do you think that someone in jail can simply say I am a free man and be free? Well you could but you'd only be kidding yourself!
Think about it, the church has made billions of dollars off of suckers off of keeping black folk feeling good just like a drug. But the catch is, just like drugs, these feeling of euphoria is short-lived, and pretty soon they are coming back for another hit.
Here is another video about the dangers of slogans, catchphrases, memes, group thinking, and cliques and how they relate to programming the mind.





I dont agree with you not one bit!! If you can not get out of your own way and get to the science of self u will always fall victim to everything and everyone... n if u dont know not one thing with the science of self all u are doing is practically running in circles...I posted a guy from the church mostly because of many people are into church or still have a church mindset! Me nope...as u can see I have baphomet for my symbols! Again science of self!! And yes u can sit at home and change your thoughts... and declare that you are happy! I don't have to doubt nothing that I have posted cause I already know! The dangers slogans I don't know what that means, the catch phrases hear people talking... but I just gave u a glimpse of the science of self...which is a pretty interesting science to want to understand, but not as difficult as it may seem!!
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
I dont agree with you not one bit!! If you can not get out of your own way and get to the science of self u will always fall victim to everything and everyone... n if u dont know not one thing with the science of self all u are doing is practically running in circles...I posted a guy from the church mostly because of many people are into church or still have a church mindset! Me nope...as u can see I have baphomet for my symbols! Again science of self!! And yes u can sit at home and change your thoughts... and declare that you are happy! I don't have to doubt nothing that I have posted cause I already know! The dangers slogans I don't know what that means, the catch phrases hear people talking... but I just gave u a glimpse of the science of self...which is a pretty interesting science to want to understand, but not as difficult as it may seem!!
When you say things like get out of your own way what exactly does that mean? According to my stance, getting out of your way is akin to getting rid of the mental blocks that is preventing you from moving past the situation, that you are stuck in. My approach is that you focus on redefining the "you" moving from a helpless victim in need of a savior.

(something that society, especially the church conditions our minds to accept, to define yourself as the one behind the wheel of your life, no need for a savior. And once you have control, the first thing you must are things that make you happy, that don't involve spending money on things. This is important because being addicted to material goods is just like a drug, and instead of breaking the rut that you are in, you become more entrenched in it, resulting in a greater sense of hopelessness.
Sitting home and declaring you are happy is just like not working out and declaring you are fit, or not studying and declaring you are educated. My point is that if you want something good in life, you have to work hard at it, but we are conditioned to be mental slaves who are conditioned to work hard for others, but struggle when it comes to self-help. So instead of doing the things that actually make us happy, we hang on to our old habits of turning to social media, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs, over-spending on things that are promised to make us happy, praying for happiness, everything possible except doing the thing that can lead to happiness.
If you really examine people who are in these situations most of them do not have hobbies other than eating, spending money, and going to church, and if this is you and you are feeling hopeless, you must work on changing your habits by doing something different that can make you happy!
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor

The main problem is caring what others on social media care about Just do you live your life, and work on yourself happiness that is based on your needs not what society tells you to do and think.
My question to you is, what are your hobbies and actions you do to offset the toxic social network environment we live in today?
 

Ceenote

Thinkn with My 3rd Eye!
Platinum Member
When you say things like get out of your own way what exactly does that mean? According to my stance, getting out of your way is akin to getting rid of the mental blocks that is preventing you from moving past the situation, that you are stuck in. My approach is that you focus on redefining the "you" moving from a helpless victim in need of a savior.

(something that society, especially the church conditions our minds to accept, to define yourself as the one behind the wheel of your life, no need for a savior. And once you have control, the first thing you must are things that make you happy, that don't involve spending money on things. This is important because being addicted to material goods is just like a drug, and instead of breaking the rut that you are in, you become more entrenched in it, resulting in a greater sense of hopelessness.
Sitting home and declaring you are happy is just like not working out and declaring you are fit, or not studying and declaring you are educated. My point is that if you want something good in life, you have to work hard at it, but we are conditioned to be mental slaves who are conditioned to work hard for others, but struggle when it comes to self-help. So instead of doing the things that actually make us happy, we hang on to our old habits of turning to social media, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs, over-spending on things that are promised to make us happy, praying for happiness, everything possible except doing the thing that can lead to happiness.
If you really examine people who are in these situations most of them do not have hobbies other than eating, spending money, and going to church, and if this is you and you are feeling hopeless, you must work on changing your habits by doing something different that can make you happy!

Nothing in what i said had n e thing to do with church or anything outside of me..the only person will save me is me..i am prosperity and i am happy! I have self love...i dont get this church shit u keep bringing up...and buying things dont make me happy... learning something new about self makes me happy! I self law am master!! By the way let me know if u know the science of self...
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
Nothing in what i said had n e thing to do with church or anything outside of me..the only person will save me is me..i am prosperity and i am happy! I have self love...i dont get this church shit u keep bringing up...and buying things dont make me happy... learning something new about self makes me happy! I self law am master!! By the way let me know if u know the science of self...
In today's world, we love coining the phrase "science" to make something sound more legit, but I won't get into that now. What I will say, is that we often convolute things that should be simple, because if you were to take a vacation in nature away from civilization or even spend time mastering things for yourself, like learning how to paint, play an instrument, or even bike riding, you will learn yourself by experiencing the limits of your capability, and with time and effort, your capability will expand and this will cause you to appreciate life more. But in life we tend to do less and less, this contracts your possibilities, which can lead to boredom and unhappiness.
So rather than ask myself, am I the master of my universe, it is simpler and less abstract to ask are you challenging yourself by experiencing things that can promote growth in life?
 

Ceenote

Thinkn with My 3rd Eye!
Platinum Member
In today's world, we love coining the phrase "science" to make something sound more legit, but I won't get into that now. What I will say, is that we often convolute things that should be simple, because if you were to take a vacation in nature away from civilization or even spend time mastering things for yourself, like learning how to paint, play an instrument, or even bike riding, you will learn yourself by experiencing the limits of your capability, and with time and effort, your capability will expand and this will cause you to appreciate life more. But in life we tend to do less and less, this contracts your possibilities, which can lead to boredom and unhappiness.
So rather than ask myself, am I the master of my universe, it is simpler and less abstract to ask are you challenging yourself by experiencing things that can promote growth in life?


Bruh... i get it...your funny...but we are saying something to each other similar but not quite the same..so ill pass with all the back n forth...
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
Bruh... i get it...your funny...but we are saying something to each other similar but not quite the same..so ill pass with all the back n forth...
It's mostly semantics, but when you said you disagreed, I had to clarify my stance. But the biggest difference is that where you emphasize thinking positively, I emphasize doing positive things because once you do positive things it is human nature to feel positive, this is what we did as kids when we went outside to play, no need to think just do.
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
Getting back to the original poster question. Let me ask her this.
Are social problems in this country getting worse or are the perception of things getting worse?
Now if you say they are getting worse, my suggestion is to study history, Better yet I just read an excellent book called
chasing me to my grave, read it and if you still feel things are worse, then get back at me.
But if you feel that things are the same or even better, ask yourself what is causing this helpless feeling that things are getting worse.
Chances are its what you already identified as "social media" While some of the organizations such as BLM intention is racist awareness, not able to properly place it in the proper context can fuck up your head. So maybe you need to stay away from social media, go outside, and live life.
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Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
I didn't want to make a thread for this. Currently streaming live on youtube. I assume the replay will be available later.

Holiday Grief & Loss (When the Holidays Hurt) ✨ a black woman healing​


 
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