Old Man Business: 80's Babies (throwback tv & toys): Conan Vs. He-Man

playahaitian

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Conan the He-Man

Vikor is billed as an Eternian, but he looks a bit more down-to-Earth.

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With his magical sword and fantasy-based cartoon, He-Man always seemed like a character straight out of some ancient mythology. In the years since his creation as an action figure, he has spawned his fair share of geek-flavored urban legends among toy connoisseurs.

For instance, a mysterious He-Man variant figure with dark hair was long-rumored to have been a mail-away premium from - huh? - Wonder Bread. Mattel has never confirmed or denied this. Nevertheless, a while back they gave a nod to the tale when they released a new look-alike character named Wun-Dar. Included in his accessories was an "Eternian baked good", otherwise known here on Earth as a loaf of bread.

Another persistent rumor holds that the Masters of the Universe toy line was originally intended to tie into the 1982 movie Conan the Barbarian. The story goes that once Mattel’s toy gurus realized just how family-unfriendly Arnold the Vulgarian’s R-rated flick actually was, they came up with the He-Man brand as a replacement. Rumors of this sort may have been based on one early He-Man concept design that was quite Conan-like.

Never letting a good in-joke go to waste, Mattel has turned this debunked myth into hard plastic as well. Vikor (pictured above) may be officially billed as the "He-Man of the North," but the overall design looks just a tad familiar. For now, the real Arnold has left Conan's kingdom to become a ruler of a different sort. By Crom, if he won’t be back, his doppelganger works just fine.

http://he-man.us/biographies/He-Man_WonderBread.html

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http://www.mattycollector.com/store/matty/en_US/DisplayProductDetailsPage/productID.171121700

Links to Conan the Barbarian

There is an enduring urban legend about the so-called "Conan toyline." The story is that the Mattel Toy Company originally intended to base an action figure line on Conan the Barbarian, the pulp fantasy character created by Robert E. Howard which at the time was the lead in several popular series produced by Marvel Comics and due to be the subject of a major movie. However, after viewing the film, the Mattel executives despaired at the thought of promoting a children's toy with ties to a film featuring such graphic sex and violence.

Thus they gave their doll blonde hair and re-dubbed him "He-Man". The legend is unverified but persistent. Roger Sweet, the originator of He-Man, asserts that the He-Man/Masters Of The Universe concept definitely was not an outgrowth of Conan. The He-Man concept, later renamed the Masters Of The Universe, was originated and developed by Roger Sweet in late 1980. Later, that initial concept was followed by the original comics by Donald F. Glut. The Conan license had been dropped by Mattel months before the He-Man concept was begun. Such fantasy artists as Frank Frazetta and Boris Vallejo, made famous previously through their barbarian themed art, were undoubtfully a great inspiration for the MOTU creators. For instance, while designing the first He-Man prototypes, some artists like Mark Taylor brought forth a very Conan-esque dark haired He-Man bearing a horned helmet and barbaric outfit [32]

Although Conan is not "officially" a source of inspiration, Mattel may have taken advantage of his resemblance by hiring comic book artists (mostly working for DC comics and Marvel Comics) to design the mini-comics and box art. Earl Norem for instance, having worked on countless Savage Sword of Conan covers for Marvel, was kept in high esteem by Masters of the Universe fans for his astonishing posters, package inlays and box art. The confusion and "Conan toyline" urban myth may have stemmed from the striking similarities between Norem's Conan depictions.[33] and He-Man [34]



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Description
He-Man... The most Powerful man in the UNIVERSE.


As you can see in this first sketch, by Mark Taylor, the main designer on the early figures, he was originally envisioned as a far more barbaric charater, with almost something of a viking-inspired look to him. He's not even sporting his trademark blonde hair, but is instead raven-haired.
Image courtesy of Matt Jozwiak


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This would have been a schoolyard/luch room fight back in the DAY!!!:lol:
 

nawlinsn931

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
i gotta go with HE MAN on this one no homo i still watch it cause it comes on late at night and i catch it when i get home from work. plus battlecat was the shit too bad the he man movie was garbage
 

playahaitian

Rising Star
Certified Pussy Poster
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

rl_she-ra-sex-tape.jpg


She-Ra Sex Tape Leaked Online

She-Ra, the popular star of She-Ra: Princess of Power, is on damage control after footage of an “intimate relationship” with a friend found its way onto the Internet this week. She-Ra, best known as the “girl He-Man’, called the existence of the tape a “private matter that should never have been released publicly.”
While details of the sex tape remain few, insiders say the tape shows She-Ra and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe star Skeletor, engaged in sexual acts. The tape not only show She-Ra and Skeletor having intercourse, but the duo making fun of handicapped co-star Man-At-Arms.

“It’s a disaster for She-Ra’s fans,” says a close friend of She-Ra who wants to remain anonymous. “She really went out of her way to be the best role model in the world, but then she had sex with that a**hole, Skeletor. She had no idea she was being videotaped.”
 

playahaitian

Rising Star
Certified Pussy Poster
I actually saw this as a kid:lol:

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CLAMP CHAMP?! That's an odd choice. Clamp Champ wasn't exactly one of the show's most popular characters, and in fact, I'm not even sure he ever even appeared on the cartoon. Apparently, some of the character choices were made based on which toys were currently being offered up. Since Clamp Champ was one of Mattel's hottest new figures, he got the star treatment. It doesn't change the fact that he's just a regular guy with huge salad tongues tied to his arm.

Clamp Champ played the part of King Randor's royal protector in the Power Tour. Randor was represented by a guy wearing neon leggings and that pirate shirt Jerry Seinfeld hated. My theory is that the king wanted to hire a bodyguard who looked more stupid than himself, to deflect attention and to feel less terrible about what he was wearing. Clamp thinks he has an important job, but in reality, he's only there because he looks more moronic than King Randor. He-Man's dad rarely threw around his political weight, but he could be a real dick when he was feeling inadequate.

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I take it back. Grizzlor is nowhere near as bad as this. 'Songster,' who repels all suggested innuendo by wearing purple eyeliner, had the task of explaining Eternia's folklore to the Power Tour audience...in song. The only character dreamt up for exclusive use with He-Man's stage act, Songster appears to be a hybrid mutant version of Tim Curry and Scott Valentine, trying to hide from the law by posing as a musician for a Judy Garland convention on Pluto. The only conceivable way to make the ensemble more stereotypically flaming is if they literally shaped the guitar like a penis. I've got no idea what Songster is up to nowadays, but it wouldn't shock me to learn that he's sitting on an Ikea futon watching reruns of The Nanny.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0760/
 
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THE DRIZZY

Ally of The Great Ancestors
OG Investor
I am going to have to roll with Conan. He-man was mad homo. I remember when Marvel used to write Conan. He had two nice "What If" issues. In one he was in modern times. He joined a black gang:D. The other one he met Thor. Conan had awesome enemies from socerers, demons, and other war-like humans. The most powerful one being the snake Elder God Set and his snake men minions. The Hyborian age was no fucking joke.
 

LSN

Phat booty lover.
BGOL Investor
he-man was wild homo

Ahahahahahahaahha there was a vid posted a while back of him riding a horse bareback w/ some dude hahhahahahahaha He-Man was cool it was Adam who was suspect as hell hahahahahhahaha
 

playahaitian

Rising Star
Certified Pussy Poster
he-man was wild homo



12 (Not-So-Secretly) Gay Cartoon Characters

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Well his name alone is a dead giveaway, both titles are clear reference to what he-man enjoys the most. If he wasn’t gay he would have chosen a name like super dude, or pay-no-attention-to-what-I’m-wearing I-really-like-women-man. Hell, the fact that he didn’t hook up with she-ra tells us he’s a man’s man. I’m also pretty sure that I’ve only ever seen a furry jock-strap before at the west Hollywood parade, and he also chooses to hang around with that notorious submissive sex slave Orko. Hmm I wonder if his real name was Porko, just sayin. Total Power-bottom.
http://www.popcrunch.com/12-secretly-gay-cartoon-characters/





:smh::smh::smh::smh::smh:

By the Power of Grayskull!
Rediscovering the heroic cartoon beefcake of my youth.
By Sam Anderson

One of my most vivid childhood memories is of standing, at 6 years old, in front of the family TV (miniature screen, huge clicky dials, fake wood paneling) and making myself an extremely solemn promise: No matter what happened in my life—no matter where I ended up or who I married or how my tastes changed—I would never stop watching He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. The show was my great healing myth. He-Man, a half-naked steroidal Aryan cartoon beefcake, strode into my life at a moment of intense crisis, just after my parents' divorce and months before we moved out of my home state forever. My lifelong commitment to him was a childish attempt to drop some kind of anchor in heavy existential seas.

Unfortunately, the promise turned out to be hard to keep. He-Man was canceled after its second season, which meant (in the early days of VCR) that it was pretty much gone for good. A whole series of other series—The Transformers, Thundercats, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles—stepped up to keep me busy until I reached the non-animated fantasies of adolescence. But a small part of me never forgot my promise to He-Man; I had betrayed that desperate little boy. I plunged into a life of double consciousness.

More than 20 years later, however—thanks to the booming TVD industry and a group of online fans cultishly devoted to their own inner 6-year-olds—I'm in the midst of a second He-Manhood. Technicians have remastered the show's universe, and it's been reissued on DVD, both in an exhaustive 130-episode set (more than 40 hours) and an alleged "Best of" (which raises questions about the flexibility of the word "best").

Rewatching the show was instant time travel; it hit me like a big muscley Proustian madeleine. Unlike good, innovative cartoons (say, Looney Tunes or The Simpsons), He-Man has little cultural currency—his image doesn't show up on T-shirts or as children's vitamins or on people's back windshields. The show is vacuum-sealed in 1983. The moment I heard its theme music—a trumpety anthem that makes you want to correct your posture and go rescue lost kittens—I felt again, in the most intense way possible, what it was like to be 4 feet tall, devoted to catching grasshoppers, ashamed of my chronically runny nose, and eager to escape from the inscrutably messy adult world into the clean moral lines of Eternia.

Sadly, I can no longer watch He-Man through 6-year-old eyes. The show, it turns out, is not quite the singular artistic triumph I once thought it was. Its creators seem to have spared every expense. It's a badly animated, low-budget scramble of every sci-fi and fantasy franchise that preceded it—Conan the Barbarian, Star Wars, Star Trek, Superman, even The Jetsons. It's set among craggy gothic castles and dramatic stone arches on a generic action-planet called Eternia; the time frame is a kind of medieval future in which battle axes coexist with freeze rays, video screens, flying Jet Skis, and memory-projectors. Plots usually adhere to the Bond formula: Villains take short breaks from marathon sessions of maniacal laughter to hatch the most transparent evil schemes, which He-Man foils while tossing off bons mots like a drunk uncle ("I guess they just don't make energy bows like they used to," he quips to a flustered Trap-Jaw; "Boy, the things people leave lying around," he says wryly while tossing two stunned Fishmen off-screen). The dialogue is tediously expository, written apparently for viewers who have slept through most of the episode: "Sorceress, you used the space portal to bring us here. Thanks!" or "Hurray! The power of Grayskull brought your memory back!"

The best part about rewatching He-Man, after the initial nostalgia-burst, was tracking the show's hilarious accidental homo-eroticism—an aspect I missed completely as a first-grader. In the ever-growing lineup of "outed" classic superheroes, He-Man might be the easiest target of all. It's almost too easy: Prince Adam, He-Man's alter ego, is a ripped Nordic pageboy with blinding teeth and sharply waxed eyebrows who spends lazy afternoons pampering his timid pet cat; he wears lavender stretch pants, furry purple Ugg boots, and a sleeveless pink blouse that clings like saran wrap to his pecs. To become He-Man, Adam harnesses what he calls "fabulous secret powers": His clothes fall off, his voice drops a full octave, his skin turns from vanilla to nut brown, his giant sword starts gushing energy, and he adopts a name so absurdly masculine it's redundant. Next, he typically runs around seizing space-wands with glowing knobs and fabulously straddling giant rockets. He hangs out with people called Fisto and Ram Man, and they all exchange wink-wink nudge-nudge dialogue: "I'd like to hear more about this hooded seed-man of yours!" "I feel the bony finger of Skeletor!" "Your assistance is required on Snake Mountain!" Once you start thinking along these lines, it's impossible to stop. (Clearly, others have had the same idea.) It's a prime example of how easily an extreme fantasy of masculinity can circle back to become its opposite.

I could criticize He-Man all day for its aesthetic shortcomings, but there's really no point. It wasn't designed to be a good show, just to trigger the collecting impulses of young kids without blatantly offending their parents. It was basically a long-form, serialized Mattel commercial,

the first cartoon ever to be conceived and produced only for the purpose of selling an action figure

a mythology preceded by its own icons (plastic ones, with swiveling torsos and "power punch action"). In retrospect, it's pretty clear that my love for the show—my quasi-religious immersion—was just a Pavlovian response to aggressive cross-marketing.

And yet there's something in He-Man that transcends criticism. Despite the show's crass badness, I enjoyed rewatching it on many levels. The deep magical connection I felt as a child was still there, and the show was also a powerful shot of a cultural innocence that doesn't seem to exist anymore. As I watched, He-Man kept reminding me—in temperament, bearing, and even tone of voice—of Ronald Reagan, and of the cheerful, rule-bound pop-cultural naiveté that seemed to reach its term limit around the same time as the Gipper. In the era of South Park, Adult Swim, and TV Funhouse (whose "Ambiguously Gay Duo" picks up on the sexual comedy of He-Man perfectly), cartoons have become carriers of adult attitudes and ideas. Even today's kids' programming is self-conscious and ironic. SpongeBob would have mocked He-Man until he cried. It's a very long way from here to Eternia.
 

geist

Star
Registered
C'mon man, Conan all day, everyday. Conan was the original animal thug, y'all never read a Conan novel? You would never hear He-Man say some shit like this:



:yes:
 

playahaitian

Rising Star
Certified Pussy Poster
I am going to have to roll with Conan. He-man was mad homo. I remember when Marvel used to write Conan. He had two nice "What If" issues. In one he was in modern times. He joined a black gang:D. The other one he met Thor. Conan had awesome enemies from socerers, demons, and other war-like humans. The most powerful one being the snake Elder God Set and his snake men minions. The Hyborian age was no fucking joke.

13.What if Conan the Barbarian walked the earth today? (Based on The Savage Sword of Conan #5)
An alternate ending can be seen in #43.

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39.What if Thor battled Conan the Barbarian?

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http://marvel.wikia.com/What_If?_Vol_1
 
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SamSneed

Disciple of Zod
BGOL Investor
Fire and wind come from the sky, from the gods of the sky. But Crom is your god, Crom and he lives in the earth. Once, giants lived in the Earth, Conan. And in the darkness of chaos, they fooled Crom, and they took from him the enigma of steel. Crom was angered. And the Earth shook. Fire and wind struck down these giants, and they threw their bodies into the waters, but in their rage, the gods forgot the secret of steel and left it on the battlefield. We who found it are just men. Not gods. Not giants. Just men. The secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts.
 

SamSneed

Disciple of Zod
BGOL Investor
Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!
 

Manny Styles

Hi-Teknological
BGOL Investor
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

rl_she-ra-sex-tape.jpg


She-Ra Sex Tape Leaked Online

She-Ra, the popular star of She-Ra: Princess of Power, is on damage control after footage of an “intimate relationship” with a friend found its way onto the Internet this week. She-Ra, best known as the “girl He-Man’, called the existence of the tape a “private matter that should never have been released publicly.”
While details of the sex tape remain few, insiders say the tape shows She-Ra and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe star Skeletor, engaged in sexual acts. The tape not only show She-Ra and Skeletor having intercourse, but the duo making fun of handicapped co-star Man-At-Arms.

“It’s a disaster for She-Ra’s fans,” says a close friend of She-Ra who wants to remain anonymous. “She really went out of her way to be the best role model in the world, but then she had sex with that a**hole, Skeletor. She had no idea she was being videotaped.”

Why does no one remember that He-Man and She-Ra were cousins, although they inexplicably lived on different planets with similar looking friends and enemies?

Add to that Skeletor being Adam's uncle and this is all types of nasty.
 

ReactQ

Support BGOL
Registered
Gotta go with He-Man. He picked up a whole castle and tossed that bitch.

He-Man is characterized by possessing superhuman strength. He stands at a height of 6 ft 2 in (1.88 m), and weighs around 225 lb (102 kg; 16.1 st).[citation needed] The extent of He-man's strength is unknown, but there was one instance where he was able to hoist Castle Grayskull and send it through a dimensional doorway. He has also demonstrated his immense strength by lifting mountains and icebergs, and hurling them far away to the desired target. In the episode, She-Demon of Phantos, He-Man is shown to be the only person to break Photanium, which is claimed by Man-At-Arms to be the strongest metal in the Universe. In comics, he is shown to be able to go one-on-one with pre-Crisis Superman, which makes him among the strongest fictional characters ever created. In the intro sequence of the 1980s cartoon series he claims to be "The Most Powerful Man in the Universe". His strength is derived from the magical powers within Castle Grayskull.[17]
 

onyxmodels

Rising Star
BGOL Gold Member
I am going to have to roll with Conan. He-man was mad homo. I remember when Marvel used to write Conan. He had two nice "What If" issues. In one he was in modern times. He joined a black gang:D. The other one he met Thor. Conan had awesome enemies from socerers, demons, and other war-like humans. The most powerful one being the snake Elder God Set and his snake men minions. The Hyborian age was no fucking joke.


I got this comic! They called themselves the barbarians!
Walkin with a leopard an everything !
Conan was a pimp! Nigga met Thor and slashed his ass up in the Guggenhiem Museum.
 
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