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Shallow Leroy???

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LeroyDibiase

Rising Star
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Ok, my thinking is that sex with her would be very limited. She has a big stomach and it kinda limits access. At least that's how it looks with clothes on. So sex would have to consist of primarily foreplay and oral. I mean I love Head Sanford as much as the nest man, but ain't nothing better than some good good. Everything else is good. Last night, SHE took a nigga to a good restaurant in HER car. SHE paid. Made a nigga feel like Prince Charles or some shit.

Is it selfish, I mean so many other things could be/would be/should be good with this woman, it's just this one aspect of intercourse. I don't have a problem with her weight, I'm not embarrassed by her size in public. It's just that the thought of having intercourse with her seems a) almost impossible, if not highly strenuous and unsatisfying and b) un...sexy. :dunno: Ladies?? Fellas????
 
Adam Knows

Adam Knows

YouTube: Adam Knows
Platinum Member
it's not being selfish, you like what you like and nothing can change that. people can call folks like me n you shallow all day but everyone has a shallowness to one thing or another, they just aren't willing to admit it.

don't let people up in here try to make you feel guilty/wrong.
 
C

Crown&Coke

Star
Registered
LeroyDibiase said:
Ok, my thinking is that sex with her would be very limited. She has a big stomach and it kinda limits access. At least that's how it looks with clothes on. So sex would have to consist of primarily foreplay and oral. I mean I love Head Sanford as much as the nest man, but ain't nothing better than some good good. Everything else is good. Last night, SHE took a nigga to a good restaurant in HER car. SHE paid. Made a nigga feel like Prince Charles or some shit.

Is it selfish, I mean so many other things could be/would be/should be good with this woman, it's just this one aspect of intercourse. I don't have a problem with her weight, I'm not embarrassed by her size in public. It's just that the thought of having intercourse with her seems a) almost impossible, if not highly strenuous and unsatisfying and b) un...sexy. :dunno: Ladies?? Fellas????
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Honestly its best not to start any kind of relationship with her until you get over that. Becuz no matter how good of a person she is, it seems that you wont ever be fully satisfied in the relationship becuz of the sex issue. People can say what they want but not being satisfied with sex will lead to the end of a relationship or alot of cheating. You can only overlook that issue for so long.​
 
Izayoi

Izayoi

Scooty Puff Pilot
BGOL Investor
Crown&Coke said:
Honestly its best not to start any kind of relationship with her until you get over that. Becuz no matter how good of a person she is, it seems that you wont ever be fully satisfied in the relationship becuz of the sex issue. People can say what they want but not being satisfied with sex will lead to the end of a relationship or alot of cheating. You can only overlook that issue for so long.​
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Truth C&C and like Swat mentioned before even if one doesn't speak it it comes through in the eyes and touch if you are not attracted to someone.
 
C

Crown&Coke

Star
Registered
Izayoi said:
Truth C&C and like Swat mentioned before even if one doesn't speak it it comes through in the eyes and touch if you are not attracted to someone.
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Yea thats true. The look on your face will show your true feelings. I have that bad, my eyes and eyebrows give away exactly how I feel. When I try to hide it, it comes out as a blank stare which is no better.​
 
L

LoneStar29

Banned
LeroyDibiase said:
Ok, my thinking is that sex with her would be very limited. She has a big stomach and it kinda limits access. At least that's how it looks with clothes on. So sex would have to consist of primarily foreplay and oral. I mean I love Head Sanford as much as the nest man, but ain't nothing better than some good good. Everything else is good. Last night, SHE took a nigga to a good restaurant in HER car. SHE paid. Made a nigga feel like Prince Charles or some shit.

Is it selfish, I mean so many other things could be/would be/should be good with this woman, it's just this one aspect of intercourse. I don't have a problem with her weight, I'm not embarrassed by her size in public. It's just that the thought of having intercourse with her seems a) almost impossible, if not highly strenuous and unsatisfying and b) un...sexy. :dunno: Ladies?? Fellas????
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DANG ... that was cold LD ... guess she wasted the dinner money on you cuz now she's never gonna get none:rolleyes:
 
SWATLANTA

SWATLANTA

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Crown&Coke said:
Yea thats true. The look on your face will show your true feelings. I have that bad, my eyes and eyebrows give away exactly how I feel. When I try to hide it, it comes out as a blank stare which is no better.​
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I have the same problem. I just stopped trying to lie because I can't fake it. If I am not feeling it, she will know...
 
Alumni

Alumni

Lover of huge titties
Platinum Member
Leroy, these women would have you dating a jabba the hut type if you don't watch your step. You know better than that, the weight issue to women is hot button topic. Very few ladies will be honest about this issue and advice is often tainted. Ladies have a way of --let me rephrase that since I'm on SOL-- people have a way of telling you to do things they --if in your shoes-- would not do.

If the weight issue is important to you at this stage of your life ain't shit wrong with that. Ask these ladies how many of them went through a "bad boy" stage or "I don't want to date a short dude" stage at one point in their life and passed on good cat after good cat. As we got older our priorities change if you ain't there yet you ain't there yet. I personally may never get there on the weight thing, but hey, to each his own.

If you lie to yourself and say it's not important to you when it is, you're going to wined up fucking over a good woman who's only crime is that she can't control what she puts in her mouth.

If you respect the lady and don't want to crush her or worse, turn her into a bitter woman... you need to put her in the friendship box. I'm taking TRUE friendship, not the fake shit some cats do so they can hit. You get the best of everything. You can hang out, still talk, and she will still cook every now and then. Problem solved.
 
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LoneStar29

Banned
LeroyDibiase said:
I don't appreciate y'all making light of my situation. Maybe I should just delete this thread.
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No LD ... sorry ... don't delete the thread ... you do have a "legitimate" issue ... you've gotten alot of really good feedback from alot of different viewpoints already though ... so ... what are you gonna do ... huh???Can't keep making her "court" you if you have no plans of "putting out" in the end:smh:user
 
L

LeroyDibiase

Rising Star
Registered
DeSiRe said:
i was serious as a heart attack when i asked u how its impossible to do it to a big girl
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Impossible might be exaggerating it, but strenuous is right on the money.

LoneStar29 said:
No LD ... sorry ... don't delete the thread ... you do have a "legitimate" issue ... you've gotten alot of really good feedback from alot of different viewpoints already though ... so ... what are you gonna do ... huh???Can't keep making her "court" you if you have no plans of "putting out" in the end:smh:user
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For all the issues that you've had on this board, I would think that YOU would have some sensitivity to others' problems.
 
H

Harbinger

Potential Star
Registered
DeSiRe said:
i was serious as a heart attack when i asked u how its impossible to do it to a big girl
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Okay, let's put it out there, because I agree with Leroy's perspective on this. It would seem to me, that sex with someone that big would be......... difficult at best. Seems to me one might have some difficulty....... gettin all the way in there, y'all know what I mean? And her on top, well, I can't imagine that's all that comfortable either.

Damn, this is a delicate subject.
 
C

Crown&Coke

Star
Registered
Harbinger said:
Okay, let's put it out there, because I agree with Leroy's perspective on this. It would seem to me, that sex with someone that big would be......... difficult at best. Seems to me one might have some difficulty....... gettin all the way in there, y'all know what I mean? And her on top, well, I can't imagine that's all that comfortable either.

Damn, this is a delicate subject.
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I have had sex with a big girl before and its not any different. It all depends on the girl. But I will say this, no matter if a girl is big or not, if you dont find her attractive sexually then it will be hard regardless.​
 
L

LoneStar29

Banned
Crown&Coke said:
I have had sex with a big girl before and its not any different. It all depends on the girl. But I will say this, no matter if a girl is big or not, if you dont find her attractive sexually then it will be hard regardless.​
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Honestly ... I have to admit ... that I was in a bit of a smilar situation ... but to the extreme opposite ... I met this guy ... he was like 110 pounds ... I swear ... I liked his personality so I kept seeing him ... everything was good ... until we went to get a little physical ... homeboy dropped his clothes and STRAIGHT UP looked like a piece of paper standing sideways ... :smh: ... I couldnt do it ... all my juices disintegrated ... I had to fake a headache ... I tried to still see him after that ... but I think the look on my face told him exactly how I felt ... I know ... I'm a meanie:smh:Like it was written before ... your true feelings always show on your eyes ... can't lie forever:smh:
 
DeSiRe

DeSiRe

The Get It Girl
BGOL Investor
Harbinger said:
Okay, let's put it out there, because I agree with Leroy's perspective on this. It would seem to me, that sex with someone that big would be......... difficult at best. Seems to me one might have some difficulty....... gettin all the way in there, y'all know what I mean? And her on top, well, I can't imagine that's all that comfortable either.

Damn, this is a delicate subject.
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im sorry..call me slow...

but are u saying finding the hole is the problem?
 
H

Harbinger

Potential Star
Registered
DeSiRe said:
im sorry..call me slow...

but are u saying finding the hole is the problem?
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LOL! 'finding the hole' LOL!

Uh well yeah, kinda, I mean if the stomach is TOO big, and if there's a lot of.....fat around the.... entrance, then maybe you can't get all the way in?

Geez, this sounds really bad, I almost feel bad for asking, but the only way to know is to ask, or actual...... well, I'd rather ask.
 
YouLikeMyStyle

YouLikeMyStyle

Potential Star
BGOL Investor
LeroyDibiase said:
Oh and, we've talked about the weight a little. She said she's tried everything, all the diets you can name and they've not worked. She won't have that surgery because of the risks as well as it isn't a guaranteed solution. She says she's learned to live with it, but she understands it can be a problem for some men.
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The reason she won't lose weight on diets is because losing weight is a way of life. She must completely alter her relationship with food. Since she likes to cook, maybe she can take some healthy cooking classes.

I don't recommend the surgery, but she is gonna have to do something. She's 5'7" 255 lbs...not healthy at all.

LoneStar29 said:
Honestly ... if YOU don't have a 6 pack why are you so concerned with her body being fit??? I wouldn't look for any qualities in a man that I can't offer him myself ... maybe you should do the same ... as opposed to leading homegirl on ... then deciding she's not good enough after she's developed feelings for you:hmm:
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Not having a 6 pack is different from OBESITY, which this wonderful woman is obviously suffering from.

We can't lump someone who doesn't go to the gym in with someone who has to lose weight in order to live a longer life.

Harlem's Angel said:
Shame on you.... This girl has everything you're looking for and her weight is getting in the way? AND SHE COOKS? We all know you love that! The only way you will now how it works is if you try it and being a thick girl myself I have NEVER had any complaints. NEVER. :smh:

And weight is something that can change. Personality and chemistry cannot. (for the most part)
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THICK is not OBESE! Black people always wanna say that as an excuse for being dangerously overweight. There is nothing wrong with loving your body no matter what size it is, but let's not be unrealistic about what problems arise when someone is overweight like this young lady.

Calculate your body mass index here: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

This can give you a good idea of how overweight you are.

With all of that said, this young lady was open enough to talk to you about her weight. This shows a serious willingness to deal with it. Because you two connected on another level, you may want to help her find a program that works for her. Weight Watchers seems to be the best diet out there because it's not a diet per se--it forces one to make smarter food choices. And of course, she can start with walking.
 
AlexandMorgan

AlexandMorgan

Banned
AlexandMorgan said:
Alright here is my take on this LD go look in her kitchen and see what sort of groceries she buys. If you see lots of vegetables and healthy foods keep her.

But on the other hand if she only has ice cream and a list of takeout numbers in her kitchen keep on going thru the door.

Attitude determines where you go in this life. Yes you can have sex with someone who does not turn you on but one day you will try to and your dick will ignore you no matter how much you beat him son.

Women can slip some lube in and read a book:rolleyes: but you can not fake a total lack of interest in sex so easily as a male.

If you do try it knowing you are not feeling her you will allow her to invest emotionally in the relationship and when you want to get out you will only cause her emotional pain that could have been well avoided.

P.S if she wants to lose weight let her be her motivation. You are not a personal trainer/cheerleader:smh:. Her weight has nothing to do with you bruh so make sure she does any weight loss for her and not looking to receive a reward or incentive from you.
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:rolleyes:
 
Nevsky

Nevsky

Star
Registered
LeroyDibiase said:
I usually don't ask for advice and shit cause I think it's lame, but there are some real stand-up women on this board, so I figured, what the hell.

Anyway, I met this chick on a blind date, through one of my co-workers. We talked on the phone and I mean, she likes MMA, she's intelligent (like myself), just you know how you can have a good conversation with someone for hours. Well that is this chick. So she's talking about how she can get down in the kitchen (among other places) and she invites me over to cook me dinner. So I pull up, phat crib and I see a Benz in the driveway, so I know she got money. I'm like "Yooooooo". So she opens the door and....she's like 5'7", 255 lbs. WHOOOOOA. That shit is not cute, you know. But I'm like, lemme give this a chance cause I'm cool like that.

So we eat, sista burns, I mean the itis is setting in, go sit on the couch, not too close, watching the Rockets. And she starts giving a nigga a backrub. Chick got grip. Nigga meltin like butter. In the back of my mind I'm thinking, man this girl is the bomb...but she's so fat. I can't get over that fact. I don't think I could ever be satisfied (in tha bedroom) with this fat chick. I mean we can work around it, I guess. Like I said, we connected in every way almost, like she knew me. Am I making too big a deal about her weight? Or should I let her down easy and try again??
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How fat are we talking about? Morbidly Obese? If thats the case then I personally wouldnt get involved with her regardless of how much money she makes. Now if shes just a little chubby here and there then maybe you shouldn't let it stop you. However despite what everyone else says to you in this thread (The majority of which may be sincere about you giving her a chance. However many probably wouldnt want to compromise themselves either). I recommend you do whats going to make you happy first and foremost. I don't think that its something you should be ashamed of at all.

This woman can be a really great person sure. However lets say you get involved with her and you really arent attracted to her (that seems to be the case to me). You get involved with her eventually you may start to resent her and it just wont be a happy situation because she isnt your first choice (Most likely this woman should be placed in the "friend" catagory). Or she may end up resenting you if you make the weight thing and issue frequently or try to get her to loose weight. Then all of this for what? Because you ignored a feeling that you had that you werent going to be satisfied with her in the first place. In the end its your choice.
 
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