Man I been clean for a three months, trying to process all my shit instead of depending on the fuckit. On top of that a father figure recently died so I'm mourning & healing...I swear I can smell the essence like it was right in front of my face. Some strong outstanding cali topshelf shit too. I'm whiffing like I'm holding a scratch & sniff. Shits crazy.
My plan is to stay clean until Christmas, right now I feel like I can quit & never indulge again. Like Rick James, I've loved Mary since high school. I was one of those young Kats who would never do drugs because of what I saw it do to my community. Once I heard Bob Marley and got into roots reggae (itals, twinkle Brothers, burning spear, etc), I saw herb as my medicine. Still do, but I'm at a point in my life where I realize I got to process all my pain & trauma & dump baggage & heal as I transition into being an elder. And just be engaged & present in the moment. Last two years I have been playing pickleball, which forces you to be present in the moment & gave self-control & self-mastery (if you any good, no ego ball). This should probably be in the black men & stress thread, but I'm here in my favorite thread so...away yall stay up, be true, cultivate yourself like the ancestors who invented agriculture.