As I remember it, Jada and Will started that "Oscars so White" shit because Will's movie wasn't nominated that year. And so, I didn't take it seriously. There was that conflict of interests. As if his movie absolutely deserved nomination and was robbed because THE PINKETT-SMITHS said so. Entitlement at it's finest. It was not as if they started out specifically speaking on behalf of someone else's project(s) with which they weren't affiliated.
They did broaden it out to address a real issue of lack of representation at the Oscars. But the original premise was shaky to me. That's why I didn't have a problem with the joke Chris Rock made about them in 2016.
To be honest, at the time I did not have a problem with the joke either for all of the reasons that you mentioned. I could care less about the Oscars and don't need them to recognize our talent. However, looking back, it does seem like a weak move by Chris to step in and host it that year. He helped kill the momentum of the boycott and probably allowed himself to be used by the Oscars. They clearly brought him that year to have a black face to calm the Negros down. I could see why Will, Jada and others may feel a way about that.