AGREE/DISAGREE: Mary J. Blige - No Female Friends For My Husband
- Thread starter playahaitian
- Start date
I ain't had no serious meaningful relationshipsYou're talking about taking yourself out of poor situations and that's appropriate.
I push back on the idea that you can then make that decision for your spouse with a blanket ban. Why not trust them to make that same call for themselves?
I'm sure many people don't think my way but my shit works, not just for me, it works.
It does work. Trust in the other is so foreign in today's age people have no clue how or why...
Avoiding potential conflict is engaging in theater?
The way it's being presented here? Yes. Sheer theater.
The words used were "she/he can't have any male/female friends". Your opposite sex friends should fall back just like your same sex friends.
If the point is to "protect" them from temptation, why let them go anywhere, anytime without you present?
Because it is. It's a sign of weakness and a lack of trust.
I don't give a damn who says what to my wife, I trust and expect her to do the right thing and vice versa.
You can't maximize that. It is what it is.
I saw someone posted a pic of the Christies on the first page. Doug doesn't cheat because his crazy wife is with him all the time, he doesn't cheat (to my knowledge) because he doesnt' want to and doesn't allow himself to be in position where he might be tempted.
It's not just trust in another person but trust that you'll be okay in any event.
If that works for you then fine. Im not debating that you must have that policy in place. Im saying the policy makes sense and serves a purpose. My issue is with those who thumb their nose at it and deem those who find worth in it as "insecure". Thats myopic bullshit.
I will tell you this from a ton of experience and observation. I have seen more infidelities and issues arise from the relationships that dont have limitations on those interactions.
I'm not against limitations at all. But they should come naturally. If you're in a healthy relationship, spouses should have a bunch of time to be hanging out and chatting up people on the phone or whatever.
It's the arbitrariness that I disagree with.
Based on what exactly? You use of the term is sheer theater itself.
Why should the opposite sex friends fall back when they have no responsibility or accountability to the couple? And if you dont see a clear distinction between one on one male and female interaction and just being out anywhere at anytime, then you are either dishonest or a moron.
I thought similarly once upon a time. And then i grew up. Once you are married i think some things need to left behind. Not saying it should apply to all or that it has to apply in order for a relationship to succeed. But i definitely see the value and reasoning behind it.
Everyone does. Even the guys who wives are getting fucked by their friends.
You can absolutely minimize risk and remove yourself from potentially tempting environments. I do it all the time.
The funny thing is you admit to having a social hermit of a wife yet you speak as if you have a social butterfly who you trust to freely roam and hangout with male friends on a one on one basis. Im not sure you can really speak on this from anything other than a theoretical perspective. Which is probably why your responses continue to harp on buzzwords like "insecure" and not on anything substantive.
I can have a female friend as long as she is 400lb, ugly as hell, and has no teeth!
The female friends that I have prior to being married yes, but any new friends nope. It don't bother me ANyways. At this point what's the advantage to having a female friend if your already mArried? Not to say I don't talk to female coworkers, but I'm not calling/hanging out them outside of work unless it's a group thing (drinks) or the holiday party
Marriage fails three times often as it works. How you NOT have a plan b?
Every man needs women in their lives to function right. Female wives, lovers, friends or all of the above are needed to be a complete person. If your wife leaves you need to have thoughs women in place, not scrambling to meet new ones.
Wedding vows ought to include a clause where wives and husbands don't act like power mad controlling assholes the moment that there's dire consequences for fucking around. Unfortunately that will never happen. So in the meantime it's good to show her that she can be easily replaced
nigga im more likely to skip over the friend and fuck a random bitch so to me this shit is so stupid...................
Exactly. If you want to fuck somebody then you will regardless.
The premise is correct but the execution (as quoted from Mary) is piss poor.
It's not nature, it's immaturity.
If you can't be friends with someone of the opposite sex, something is wrong with you.
.
Bro you sound stupid. What do friends do? They hang out or talk a lot. If you are in a relationship, why in the fuck would you be hanging out or talking to someone of the opposite sex that isnt a relative? Fuck outta here. My bitch can't have no nigga friends...AT ALL.
So in other words you're not going stop messing with all the bitches you smash, want to smash, or would smash until your wife says so?
I could picture you caught up with two random chicks butt naked in your martial bed like ' if you tell me to stop I'll respect it.'
Unless you trying to fuck.
I been married for eight years. When I got engaged noticed my female friends throwing shade either at my fiancé or me getting married. Although we aint never fuck being honest a knew feelings were involved and slowly deaded those friendships. Maybe I am in the minority and some of yall can have legit platonic friendships with females. Being honest I cant and in my experience they dont work.
Never heard it put that way, but this old head I used to hang around, would be trying to catch a chick when she grieving and shit. Some 'ole take advantage when she vulnerable type shit. I was always like, naw, that's not me, but that shit happens...a lot.
Prince made a song "if I was your girlfriend". The song was deep. He was wanting to be this chick's girlfriend because as all men know that a woman will tell her friend things that she won't share with her man. Like it or not, that's how they are. It may be a sister, a mother, or a friend.
Been married for a while and Mary is right. You could share secrets with friend that you don't share with your spouse. That one thing could give your friend an upper hand. Imagine I'd that friend were a man. While your sitting at a table laughing with each other, that friend is thinking about that secret the spouse had no idea anyone outside the marriage knows. I'm not saying don't have friends. I'm just saying personal friends of the same sex is the same thing as inviting a vampire into your house. (Folklore days a vampire can't enter a house unless invited in. )
Been married for a while and Mary is right. You could share secrets with friend that you don't share with your spouse. That one thing could give your friend an upper hand. Imagine I'd that friend were a man. While your sitting at a table laughing with each other, that friend is thinking about that secret the spouse had no idea anyone outside the marriage knows. I'm not saying don't have friends. I'm just saying personal friends of the same sex is the same thing as inviting a vampire into your house. (Folklore days a vampire can't enter a house unless invited in. )
I totally agree. I don't see the point in having a female friend. It's like being in a relationship, but never having sex.
I wouldnt mind having a chick to chill with that I wasnt smashing. I used to always keep a female friend, they werent ugly either. One of them just got married, her dude dont like her talking to me so I fell back out of respect.
Same here.
