Stay strong good brother
Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal?
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Stay strong good brother
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Depression is a bitch. I suffer from it. Couple times I thought about punching my own ticket, and the only reason I don't is because of a chance encounter I had in 2003
I met a fine ass chick on the bus. I asked her where she worked and she said, "the suicide floor"
"The suicide floor," I asked?
She proceeded to tell me that she worked on the floor with a bunch of people who attempted suicide and failed and now are far worse off than they were before they attempted suicide
She said "one guy did a swan dive off of a 10-story building, now he's quadriplegic
Another guy shot himself in the mouth, now he's quadriplegic
Another guy shot himself in the ear, now he's quadriplegic
Everything but AIDS and herpes ends. The next day everything could turn around for you. You could win the lottery. Find that person you've been looking for. Just keep going"
I've kept that thought in my head for 17 years. Any time I'm thinking about chalking it up, the next day could bring something special
Today I worked with @Mixd @PsiBorg and others on the cover of my book. These guys I've never met spent time they didn't have to for a guy they didn't know personally to create my book cover.
That's some special shit.
I'm about to be published, man.
Anyone thinking about checking out, just wait. Better could be just around the corner
CEO of Atlanta MARTA commits suicide by jumping in front of train
The real victim is the driver of that train. That’s one your biggest concerns driving a train. Scarred for life. City needs to get some lifelong counseling for the driver. According to my family member, train operators don’t wish to hit someone. But when they do they get off work for at least...
www.bgol.us
✂️ Therapy
15 seconds · Clipped by E. P. · Original video "Roy Wood Jr. Knew T-Pain's Dad?? | T-Pain's NBR Podcast EP #16" by T Pain
Therapy
This resonated with me because it's true! "Therapy exposes everybody else in your life who should be going to therapy." - Roy Wood Jr. https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxECk7W-CFQzIa7xdpWwyt9q9gfFT2uMUc The hard part for me is how do I deal with the people in my family or circle that NEED therapy...
www.bgol.us
soooooo this was the 2nd mothers day w/o my moms.... my ex had her 1st baby around the same time we had an abortion 19 yrs ago... saw the pics & had this crazy flash of what life would have/ could have/ should have been. The baby was supposed to be born the day before my bday & a lot of other things are just too damn similar & in reverse as far as the dynamics are concerned. The same exact questions, the list goes on & on....
Buddy bounced on her when she told him she was pregnant. He packed up & moved back to nc w/ his moms if I'm not mistaken. He tried to Rae Caruth her on the low too... Told her almost everyday she was pregnant that he wanted an abortion & didnt want her or the baby... then months later he invites her to move to nc with him.
Now he gonna get hit wit the CP!
she wouldnt have done it if he hadnt made it clear that she was on her own.
She's a really nice person. Always looked out unexpectedly a few times I was in a jam. None of that shit bothered me much..... it was realizing my moms wont be here to see or be in a pic with mines when I have'em.
The PTS from the abortion was a mufukka..... lasted for years! She had it too. We felt the same exact shit......
I also suffer from depression.
Buddy bounced on her when she told him she was pregnant. He packed up & moved back to nc w/ his moms if I'm not mistaken. He tried to Rae Caruth her on the low too... Told her almost everyday she was pregnant that he wanted an abortion & didnt want her or the baby... then months later he invites her to move to nc with him.
Now he gonna get hit wit the CP!
she wouldnt have done it if he hadnt made it clear that she was on her own.She's a really nice person. Always looked out unexpectedly a few times I was in a jam. None of that shit bothered me much..... it was realizing my moms wont be here to see or be in a pic with mines when I have'em.
The PTS from the abortion was a mufukka..... lasted for years! She had it too. We felt the same exact shit......
I also suffer from depression.
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Great interview
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Throwbump
I'm sayin, time I quash one fire, some other shyt come up out the blue ..... like I'm in a movie getting jumped .....
Man, I had to fall back to the bare necessities in order to move forward. What I learned is that most of the problems I was having was because I was fighting and grasping for a lifeline to keep me from hitting rock bottom...
When I said FUCK IT and hit that mufucca, I found it much easier to come up with a plan to dig myself out.
It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I feel so much better because of it.
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I sympathize. Black men go through hardship like this often. I know I have had my career/profession hopes & dreams crushed where I had to start all over again. I just don't have empathy for suicide, especially leaving kids behind on their own. Hopefully the kids are indeed better off & pops can rest easy.
So where do I start...
I don't want to go too much into detail about it but I was in a very bad relationship that was verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive and straining. When I finally did get away from it I was left a broken, suicidal man and thousands of dollars in debt.
I had a decent paying job (80k in Texas is good) so I managed to stay on my own a bit thinking that I was OK... but I wasn't. I worked long hours because I didn't want to be alone, and when I was alone I was having flashbacks of the shit I had went thru... that drove me to drink more... even had me contemplating ending it all. Luckily my sister saw I was in need of help and begged me to come stay with her. She told me she was scared I would do something dumb, that I didn't need to be alone, and she couldn't afford to lose me. I gave in and went with her.
Now here I am, 40+ years old sleeping on a fuckin futon sharing a restroom with 3 teenage girls. This was my life. All I did was work, go to the gym and go home. I hated it but I did it. I didn't spend any money on myself... all I did was pay down debt and focus on me. After a year of that I left her place and moved into a hotel. I didn't want to go but it was time, I needed a actual bed to sleep on and I felt like I had worn out my welcome.
6 months at the hotel passed and then it happened
As I was in the hotel I met the woman I'm with now. Me and her just instantly connected. I felt like a missing puzzle piece had been given to me and everything made sense again. That goofy ass "you complete me" line, i get it now... because i cannot imagine a life without her by my side. She's a nurse, competitive ifbb wellness pro, 34 and NO KIDS. It still is crazy to me how perfect we are together. There's no yelling, no arguing, no disagreements that we can't find a solution to... it's just PEACE. I tease her all the time, because she hates them red pill niggas but she's exactly the woman they say go for.
Since I fell back how i did shit has gotten better. I met the woman in going to spend the rest of my life with. That 80k job I was at passed over me for a promotion to branch manager. I was frustrated as fuck, but she put her arms around me, encouraged me and said "you'll find better. I believe in you. And they're gonna miss you when you're gone." 2 months later I landed a President of Operations position that pushed me into 6 figures per year. I went from a couch to a hotel to her apartment to closing on my townhome which we move into Saturday. Next weekend I'm going car shopping. That Q50 Red Sport Edition is just calling my name.
I know i wrote a lot but just know this... rock bottom isn't as bad as you think it is. My greatest life lessons were learned there. When you see just how fucked things are, you can better put a plan in place to get yourself up and back on your feet. Being scared of letting go and hitting the bottom is scary as hell... that's natural... but for me it was the best thing that could have happened.
So happy for you. When the right one in your life, you know it b/c everything gets better. That's real talk about rock bottom being a reawakening. Congrats man live long & prosper.
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The Universe and all of creation see you. That's one hell of a story!
Regina King opens up about her son Ian Alexander Jr.'s death
Regina King is speaking out for the first time about her son Ian Alexander Jr.'s death: 'The sadness will never go away.'
Regina King opens up about son's death for first time: 'The sadness will never go away'
"I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."By
Emlyn Travis
Published on March 14, 2024
Regina King is speaking out for the first time about her son Ian Alexander Jr.'s death.
The Oscar-winning actress, who dedicated her upcoming film Shirley to her late son, revealed that she has become “a different person” since Alexander died by suicide at the age of 26 in 2022.
"Grief is a journey, you know?” King told Robin Roberts on Thursday’s episode of Good Morning America. “I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."
She added that she continues to honor Alexander, who struggled with his mental health, by speaking “about him in the present, because he’s always with me” and remembering “the joy and happiness that he gave all of us.”
"When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way, and they expect it to look heavy,” King said.
"And people expect that" — she paused as she began to cry — “to have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian's choice, which I respect and understand, you know — that he didn't wanna be here anymore. That's a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian's journey."
King also said that as a parent it was difficult for her to witness Alexander’s struggles. "I was so angry with God. You know, why would that weight be given to Ian?" she said. “With all of the things that we had gone through with the therapy, with psychiatrists, and programs, and Ian was like, 'I'm tired of talking, Mom.'"
The actress continued, “My favorite thing about myself is being Ian's mom. And I can't say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that — I can't do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Regina King.
ALIAH ANDERSON/GETTY
Still, King acknowledged, she wrestles with her grief and acceptance. “Sometimes, you know, a lot of guilt comes over me," she said. "When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, 'What could I have done so that wouldn't have happened?'"
She added, "I know that I share this grief with everyone. But no one else is Ian's mom, you know? Only me. And so it's mine. And the sadness will never go away. It'll always be with me. And I think I saw somewhere, the sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me, you know?"
Interesting thread.
Regina King opens up about her son Ian Alexander Jr.'s death
Regina King is speaking out for the first time about her son Ian Alexander Jr.'s death: 'The sadness will never go away.'ew.com
Regina King opens up about son's death for first time: 'The sadness will never go away'
"I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."
By
Emlyn Travis
Published on March 14, 2024
Regina King is speaking out for the first time about her son Ian Alexander Jr.'s death.
The Oscar-winning actress, who dedicated her upcoming film Shirley to her late son, revealed that she has become “a different person” since Alexander died by suicide at the age of 26 in 2022.
"Grief is a journey, you know?” King told Robin Roberts on Thursday’s episode of Good Morning America. “I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."
She added that she continues to honor Alexander, who struggled with his mental health, by speaking “about him in the present, because he’s always with me” and remembering “the joy and happiness that he gave all of us.”
"When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way, and they expect it to look heavy,” King said.
"And people expect that" — she paused as she began to cry — “to have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian's choice, which I respect and understand, you know — that he didn't wanna be here anymore. That's a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian's journey."
King also said that as a parent it was difficult for her to witness Alexander’s struggles. "I was so angry with God. You know, why would that weight be given to Ian?" she said. “With all of the things that we had gone through with the therapy, with psychiatrists, and programs, and Ian was like, 'I'm tired of talking, Mom.'"
The actress continued, “My favorite thing about myself is being Ian's mom. And I can't say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that — I can't do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Regina King.
ALIAH ANDERSON/GETTY
Still, King acknowledged, she wrestles with her grief and acceptance. “Sometimes, you know, a lot of guilt comes over me," she said. "When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, 'What could I have done so that wouldn't have happened?'"
She added, "I know that I share this grief with everyone. But no one else is Ian's mom, you know? Only me. And so it's mine. And the sadness will never go away. It'll always be with me. And I think I saw somewhere, the sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me, you know?"ad
Man I have loved this woman for a long time. So sad to hear about her son. RIP to her Sun. Prayers for her.
Man truth of the matter is sometimes u have to learn to say fuck it...and really mean it..
if you say fuck it an constantly dwelling on a situation you can't change u will drive yaself crazy...
once I learned to say fuck it an really meant it...my life became so much better...
if you say fuck it an constantly dwelling on a situation you can't change u will drive yaself crazy...
once I learned to say fuck it an really meant it...my life became so much better...
I embrace the phrase "Better late than never".
It is too late to dwell on events that cannot be changed.
All we can do is get it right today. Then again tomorrow.
Some things in life are supposed to be hard. That's where the accomplishment lies. If it were easy there's be no sense of achievement at the end.
Never shy away from doing things because they are hard.
It is too late to dwell on events that cannot be changed.
All we can do is get it right today. Then again tomorrow.
Some things in life are supposed to be hard. That's where the accomplishment lies. If it were easy there's be no sense of achievement at the end.
Never shy away from doing things because they are hard.
SIR. NPR Interview
https://www.essence.com/entertainment/inglewood-sir-road-to-recovery-new-album-heavy/
https://www.essence.com/entertainment/inglewood-sir-road-to-recovery-new-album-heavy/
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All good things come to an end, right? Well it seems that way... and if this ends I'm done with this love shit and that's on God...
So here I am bragging about this woman, introducing her to my close friends group, making moves and planning with her as if she's my wife. I even got her a ring (2.28 CT oval diamond in a Tiffany setting) and was ready to make it permanent and give her my last name.
Imagine my surprise when a couple weeks ago she hits me with that good ole "we need to talk" line. I'm completely blindsided by the conversation. I've been honest about my situation here and with her, and she did pull me up from a tough spot. I moved in with her from living in a hotel, and we've been rocking together for the better part of a year. She tells me that here recently she's grown resentment towards me because she feels as if she's taken on a lot of responsibility with me and my kids.
I'm completely shocked by this statement.
It's not like I just moved in and was some bum... I contribute and pay my share of everything. Rent is paid equitably, as in we both contribute 25% of our monthly take home towards it. We take turns buying groceries for the entire household, gas for her car since i drive it on weekends, and date nights. Everything seemed like a well oiled machine and one helluva partnership. So again, imagine my surprise in this conversation and her feeling this way.
I ask her what's needed to fix this, get her back to normal, and this relationship back on track. Of course she doesn't know, she knows it's something, but can't verbalize it. I press her because to me, if we leave the discussion with no measurables to work towards every issue she had will come back up in a week or 2 and we'll be back to square one. I listen to what her biggest complaints were along with the resentment thing and try to work on them. I skip out on the gym a bit, spend more time with her, attempt to squeeze in more date nights, etc. I know that, in my head, based on what she said this is fixable and we can definitely continue to move forward. So even without the things laid out as far as what's to be done, I feel these are things that address some of the issues she has based on just listening to her and trying to read between the lines.
Guys, guess what happened 2 weeks later? THE SAME FCKN ISSUE COMES BACK UP!!!
at this point I'm confused and I tell her flat out I'm at a standstill with my life because of her. There are things I want to do but can't because I don't know what's next with US. I mention how I don't have any issues with her or the relationship, how this is stuff she has to work thru, and I'm willing to help and change and work on myself if that's what I have to do to make things better for her. So she brings up the romance is gone thing and says that with us moving so quickly into marriage mode she feels it never truly developed as it should have. She then says that she's having a hard time balancing being in my kids lives, having a relationship with them and having the romantic relationship with me. I squash that IMMEDIATELY. First off my kids are older (17 and 13 this year) and they love her to pieces. In my head I'm like "OK spider you were right, turn on the charm and remain consistent with everything else will fall into place... CRISIS AVERTED."
Then comes the bomb. After some other things are said she pretty much tells me that the best way, in her opinion, to save the relationship and to bring the romance back is for us to live separately again... me in my place, her in her place... and we see each other however many times we see each other during the week and on weekends.
Y'all, I'm not doing that. If I leave this home with her this relationship is done. We either figure this shit out together or never talk to me again.
And before anyone says it or asks, I told her once that this conversation seemed out of character for her and that someone has gotten in her ear... it was too out of the blue a conversation and way of thinking for her to just feel all at once. When shit is too random there's always a 3rd party involved.
So here I am bragging about this woman, introducing her to my close friends group, making moves and planning with her as if she's my wife. I even got her a ring (2.28 CT oval diamond in a Tiffany setting) and was ready to make it permanent and give her my last name.
Imagine my surprise when a couple weeks ago she hits me with that good ole "we need to talk" line. I'm completely blindsided by the conversation. I've been honest about my situation here and with her, and she did pull me up from a tough spot. I moved in with her from living in a hotel, and we've been rocking together for the better part of a year. She tells me that here recently she's grown resentment towards me because she feels as if she's taken on a lot of responsibility with me and my kids.
I'm completely shocked by this statement.
It's not like I just moved in and was some bum... I contribute and pay my share of everything. Rent is paid equitably, as in we both contribute 25% of our monthly take home towards it. We take turns buying groceries for the entire household, gas for her car since i drive it on weekends, and date nights. Everything seemed like a well oiled machine and one helluva partnership. So again, imagine my surprise in this conversation and her feeling this way.
I ask her what's needed to fix this, get her back to normal, and this relationship back on track. Of course she doesn't know, she knows it's something, but can't verbalize it. I press her because to me, if we leave the discussion with no measurables to work towards every issue she had will come back up in a week or 2 and we'll be back to square one. I listen to what her biggest complaints were along with the resentment thing and try to work on them. I skip out on the gym a bit, spend more time with her, attempt to squeeze in more date nights, etc. I know that, in my head, based on what she said this is fixable and we can definitely continue to move forward. So even without the things laid out as far as what's to be done, I feel these are things that address some of the issues she has based on just listening to her and trying to read between the lines.
Guys, guess what happened 2 weeks later? THE SAME FCKN ISSUE COMES BACK UP!!!
at this point I'm confused and I tell her flat out I'm at a standstill with my life because of her. There are things I want to do but can't because I don't know what's next with US. I mention how I don't have any issues with her or the relationship, how this is stuff she has to work thru, and I'm willing to help and change and work on myself if that's what I have to do to make things better for her. So she brings up the romance is gone thing and says that with us moving so quickly into marriage mode she feels it never truly developed as it should have. She then says that she's having a hard time balancing being in my kids lives, having a relationship with them and having the romantic relationship with me. I squash that IMMEDIATELY. First off my kids are older (17 and 13 this year) and they love her to pieces. In my head I'm like "OK spider you were right, turn on the charm and remain consistent with everything else will fall into place... CRISIS AVERTED."
Then comes the bomb. After some other things are said she pretty much tells me that the best way, in her opinion, to save the relationship and to bring the romance back is for us to live separately again... me in my place, her in her place... and we see each other however many times we see each other during the week and on weekends.
Y'all, I'm not doing that. If I leave this home with her this relationship is done. We either figure this shit out together or never talk to me again.
And before anyone says it or asks, I told her once that this conversation seemed out of character for her and that someone has gotten in her ear... it was too out of the blue a conversation and way of thinking for her to just feel all at once. When shit is too random there's always a 3rd party involved.