This was so beautiful i re-read it several times through out yesterday, even shot it off to couple of my patnas lastnight
Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal?
- Thread starter playahaitian
- Start date
Same here...
Just wanted to come back and say thank you once again for those responses to not only me but to everyone in this thread whose load seems to much to bare at this point. The brotherhood, thoughtfulness and sense of community on display in these posts is both inspiring and motivating all in one.
Although I am appreciative of the encouraging words, I look forward to the day that I reach the hilltop and am able to share with you all my successes just as I have shared my losses.
Keep fighting the good fight, brothers...
Although I am appreciative of the encouraging words, I look forward to the day that I reach the hilltop and am able to share with you all my successes just as I have shared my losses.
Keep fighting the good fight, brothers...
How are you Spider? I hope all is well... I had an up and down week.. and ran to my Cacoa powder for a mental uplift.. This is not gonna make sense right now for you and others reading this but keep your emotions under control at best.. At this very time it will not take much for someone to lose their temper. You.. Family... Friends. Or strangers you may encounter...try and stay even keeled Especially if you're approaching your birthday... Watch how you move.
Last edited:
You know what sometimes you could have all the back up in the world for emergencies and you could still go to hell. You just have to stay positive and soon your luck with change trust me I went through ups and downs in my life in a similar fashion. And also treat everyone good who respect you if you try to fuck with everyone in the wrong way karma will grab you out of the blue. Be nice to people “who are nice to you”
Got a couple more rejection emails from potential employers, but it is what it is...
I'll find something soon.
Other than that I'm good.
I've definitely had some bad days, and I've even taken time off from everything completely a couple of times and not done ANYTHING at all, but I'm trying to keep it together as best I can.
It was that white boy, Theo Von, that said it best:
It's not that you feel like you don't have nobody, it's that you feel like nobody has YOU.
Yeah..I understand..Sometimes it's needed to be at peace.. Thanks for replying.
This made my fucking day, i turned my phone off all day and binged watch a series and gave no fucks
Bump.... Getting myself out the woods here, finally.
I accepted a job with a company as a Branch Manager. The pay isn't what I'm used to but I need to get things in going so I'm all in.
Then, my old boss reached out to me. He has an opportunity where I'll basically be babysitting a couple of guys on his team that will be working a night shift to keep the manufacturing machines going. It's 6p to midnight, runs to February, and works out perfectly with my schedule at the primary job I accepted. So I'll have 2 full time jobs essentially which I need and am perfectly fine working.
I think I still have a very big opportunity in the works, but I'm playing that one close to the vest until I see wheels in motion.
So that's the good, now the bad.
My mom's birthday was yesterday. She'd have been 69 years old but she passed 7 years ago. I went to visit her burial site to clean it up a bit and as I'm there I get a phone call. My grandmother was rushed to the hospital and before I could get there she had passed away. I was not ready for all of this and just broke down. She passed on her only daughter's birthday. I'm still processing things where that goes, as we lived with my grandmother and she was a 2nd mother to me and my older sister.
Then with things falling behind my property managers aren't working with me. Long story short I'm facing eviction for being late on rent payment for November. I honestly don't care if they try to evict me, because i know it won't go thru... especially with me being unemployed for 2 months and having a perfect payment history up until this point. I just don't want the shit on my credit as I'm rebuilding it at the moment. It's just frustrating to have things wanting to work in my favor only to have these little setbacks keep popping up. I tried to give them half the money and then pay the rest by the end of the month but not only will that not work they're also asking for payment in full with a check or money order. I have a few friends I'll ask for help but I doubt they get the full amount I need, which is roughly 1k.
All i gotta do is get past this month get a paycheck under my belt and I'll be fine. But I be damn if this isn't kicking my ass at the moment.
I accepted a job with a company as a Branch Manager. The pay isn't what I'm used to but I need to get things in going so I'm all in.
Then, my old boss reached out to me. He has an opportunity where I'll basically be babysitting a couple of guys on his team that will be working a night shift to keep the manufacturing machines going. It's 6p to midnight, runs to February, and works out perfectly with my schedule at the primary job I accepted. So I'll have 2 full time jobs essentially which I need and am perfectly fine working.
I think I still have a very big opportunity in the works, but I'm playing that one close to the vest until I see wheels in motion.
So that's the good, now the bad.
My mom's birthday was yesterday. She'd have been 69 years old but she passed 7 years ago. I went to visit her burial site to clean it up a bit and as I'm there I get a phone call. My grandmother was rushed to the hospital and before I could get there she had passed away. I was not ready for all of this and just broke down. She passed on her only daughter's birthday. I'm still processing things where that goes, as we lived with my grandmother and she was a 2nd mother to me and my older sister.
Then with things falling behind my property managers aren't working with me. Long story short I'm facing eviction for being late on rent payment for November. I honestly don't care if they try to evict me, because i know it won't go thru... especially with me being unemployed for 2 months and having a perfect payment history up until this point. I just don't want the shit on my credit as I'm rebuilding it at the moment. It's just frustrating to have things wanting to work in my favor only to have these little setbacks keep popping up. I tried to give them half the money and then pay the rest by the end of the month but not only will that not work they're also asking for payment in full with a check or money order. I have a few friends I'll ask for help but I doubt they get the full amount I need, which is roughly 1k.
All i gotta do is get past this month get a paycheck under my belt and I'll be fine. But I be damn if this isn't kicking my ass at the moment.
Dang man, im sorry to hear that but glad to hear you have jobs on the way. Think it's possible for you to get an extension and show them that you will be able to pay it on a specific date?
Took me about 20 years to learn that this was a trap. Feels good in the moment but makes you feel like crap and screw your mind and body up.
You doing good brother
It can be like that step forward one back
I get it.
But you are making it through the best you can.
You could call the housing dept or homelessness support or even your local elected officials office in the city you live in. They can usually help. Even an email or DM might be enough.
bgol has a lot brothers who could assist too with suggestions.
Last edited:
Working this into my daily routine.
30 minutes of no movement, with this going and eveything else silent
30 minutes of no movement, with this going and eveything else silent
Listening to video and looking at the reactions of people about the board going away or dying, i really think there is truly something in our DNA about wanting to be needing or producing or providing for people. Thinking about the board and how there are people that have been here since the boards inception, I think that the board dying would come with a sense of loss, especially if it all of sudden was deleted. This is really one of the places where black men can truly talk and have honest and intelligent conversations.
When I was 21 I had a son before graduating from Ga Tech, though me and the mom broke up before he was born. I never wanted us to break up but as the relationship ended and during the aftermath it became clear she just wanted a baby and even let me know she didn’t love me the way I loved her. As my son grew up I tried my best to be there but I knew since he was in another state that the relationship would be tough, plus she had full custody and I could only see him and talk to him when she allowed it. I used this pain towards my work and manifested a successful career.
Then at 26 I got married to a fine Liberian chick. Loved the hell out of her. Was there for her when her dad died, even though I was broke and still building my career I would go w/o to make sure she was straight. I even got her citizenship papers straight in the event something happened to me so she would be good to keep going in the U.S. In GA at the time mental health work wasn’t as prominent as it is now and California was a better place for her. So we got her setup with a school, house, and car out there. While out there I would call, text FaceTime. I couldn’t go with her as paying for rent there and for a mortgage in Atlanta was too expensive, plus I still had work on the east coast to handle. Went through the usual ups and down that relationships do but still stayed committed to the promise I made to be there regardless. I never even cheated, when I could’ve especially since my work was in music videos, fashion commercials, and films. Fast forward to 2019, I get the call that she wants a divorce. She told me she felt we grew apart. This was true as I was focused on work in order to keep things going forward. Was never bitter, still love her till this day.
Once the divorce was finalized, I left the U.S. moved to the DR. Started a whole new life, wasn’t looking for love or significant other but ended up meeting a girl. We kept it casual no strings attached. We both knew what it was, but the connection was there and she knew I had her back. She had a son but I didn’t care, treated him like he was my own. I remember I got food poisoning from some bad lettuce/lechuga. That girl held me down during the throwing up and shitting. She was a real soldier. In June 2022 she told me she was pregnant. I was nervous but prepared and happy. My girl at the time was 5-6 months pregnant. I had to go away for work and on my way back to Atlanta, I called her to check on her as I hadn’t heard from her. On December 19 or 21st 2022 at 3a.m. in a layover in Denver she called me crying. She lost the baby. she had a miscarriage. That pain hurt so much I broke down right there.
1 year later my brother passed away from an overdose. We weren’t blood but he was the closest thing to a brother that I would know. He was the only person that truly understood me. Felt lost when he passed.
After all that, I deal with depression sometimes. I used to numb the pain with weed and psychedelics. It helped me deal with the introspective but the pain and thoughts still pop up at times.
Nowadays i will go to the gym or just channel the pain into work.
For those who have a significant other and family or one of the two you are truly blessed. Even if you only get court appointed time with your kids at least your in their life.
If you are expecting a child, love that woman through that whole process, cherish her as much as you can. And when that baby is born love your kids to the point of spoiling them. That opportunity is precious to have.
If you have friends cherish them, cuz you never know what could happen when they aren’t around.
The holidays can be tough but life and time doesn’t stop for anyone and neither should you. Keep pursuing. I haven’t given up on love or having a family. I know it will come. Until then, just gotta keep on pushin.
Then at 26 I got married to a fine Liberian chick. Loved the hell out of her. Was there for her when her dad died, even though I was broke and still building my career I would go w/o to make sure she was straight. I even got her citizenship papers straight in the event something happened to me so she would be good to keep going in the U.S. In GA at the time mental health work wasn’t as prominent as it is now and California was a better place for her. So we got her setup with a school, house, and car out there. While out there I would call, text FaceTime. I couldn’t go with her as paying for rent there and for a mortgage in Atlanta was too expensive, plus I still had work on the east coast to handle. Went through the usual ups and down that relationships do but still stayed committed to the promise I made to be there regardless. I never even cheated, when I could’ve especially since my work was in music videos, fashion commercials, and films. Fast forward to 2019, I get the call that she wants a divorce. She told me she felt we grew apart. This was true as I was focused on work in order to keep things going forward. Was never bitter, still love her till this day.
Once the divorce was finalized, I left the U.S. moved to the DR. Started a whole new life, wasn’t looking for love or significant other but ended up meeting a girl. We kept it casual no strings attached. We both knew what it was, but the connection was there and she knew I had her back. She had a son but I didn’t care, treated him like he was my own. I remember I got food poisoning from some bad lettuce/lechuga. That girl held me down during the throwing up and shitting. She was a real soldier. In June 2022 she told me she was pregnant. I was nervous but prepared and happy. My girl at the time was 5-6 months pregnant. I had to go away for work and on my way back to Atlanta, I called her to check on her as I hadn’t heard from her. On December 19 or 21st 2022 at 3a.m. in a layover in Denver she called me crying. She lost the baby. she had a miscarriage. That pain hurt so much I broke down right there.
1 year later my brother passed away from an overdose. We weren’t blood but he was the closest thing to a brother that I would know. He was the only person that truly understood me. Felt lost when he passed.
After all that, I deal with depression sometimes. I used to numb the pain with weed and psychedelics. It helped me deal with the introspective but the pain and thoughts still pop up at times.
Nowadays i will go to the gym or just channel the pain into work.
For those who have a significant other and family or one of the two you are truly blessed. Even if you only get court appointed time with your kids at least your in their life.
If you are expecting a child, love that woman through that whole process, cherish her as much as you can. And when that baby is born love your kids to the point of spoiling them. That opportunity is precious to have.
If you have friends cherish them, cuz you never know what could happen when they aren’t around.
The holidays can be tough but life and time doesn’t stop for anyone and neither should you. Keep pursuing. I haven’t given up on love or having a family. I know it will come. Until then, just gotta keep on pushin.
Last edited:
Thats a lot to go through. Glad you have come out on the other side. Do you still keep in touch with ol girl or did yall drift apart once she lost the baby?
Are you familiar with this book? A Healing Journal for Black Men: Prompts to Help You Reflect, Grow, and Live With Pride.
By Danny Angelo Fluker Jr.
My Journal
Have you ever considered audio journaling? I’m reading this book by Jor-El Caraballo called Self-Care for Black Men 100 Ways to Heal and Liberate. He mentions audio journaling and it sounds really intriguing. I’m not really a fan of writing down my thoughts and feelings on paper, especially if I’m going to be honest about my day.
Last edited:
No matter how bad shit is with you.
Somebody out there got it worser than you.
Somebody out there got it worser than you.
Post of the season
But that shouldn't make you feel better that others are suffering worse than you
We should see it as we are not alone.
And we must have grace for ourselves AND others
We shouldn't be so quick to judge and condemn
We are ALL suffering and shouldn't feel need to add more pain.
We need to love and support each other more going forward
Happy New Year
Yeah cause at the end of the day u still have it bad
And we need to remind people it's not a permanent situation.
No matter how much it feels like it is.
It WILL get better
Was listening to this, ready to jump on her if she don't know what she talking about. It actually hit home and my own experience confirmed what she was saying having had my career & financial goals shrivel like a raisin in the sun.
Ain't no quit here, got back up and set out on another path, but I wish someone would have broke this down instead of living it. Hard headed as I am it may not have worked, but still...
Ain't no quit here, got back up and set out on another path, but I wish someone would have broke this down instead of living it. Hard headed as I am it may not have worked, but still...
