You're not any better.. you thought he was going to "scrap" after he gave you a small smile and a head nod ? you got preconceived notions about other black men
Grown Talk: Should Black Men show each other more respect/brotherhood?
- Thread starter playahaitian
- Start date
You're not any better.. you thought he was going to "scrap" after he gave you a small smile and a head nod ? you got preconceived notions about other black men
Somewhere along the line, things have got fucked up!! My grandfather use to tell me, things are going to get better! I'm not sure about that any more!!
that gang shit is ripping the younger generation apart and they never realized it until they're locked up for life
Wards of the states....slaves for life just like they want us to be
Wards of the states....slaves for life just like they want us to be
wouldnt hurt, we need more postivity!
fuck that negative shit!
I agree.
1
he turned around and shook ur hand cuz he was gueesing that u 2 were from the same country and he was correct.
2
u should ask urself what would make u think someone is gonna attack u after they just gave u a smile and a headnod? thats kinda weird.
Yup. One of the reasons I liked the black power movement. A form of unity.
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Did you watch the video brother ?? If not when you have some time you should check it out. She really breaks it down
i did last night. powerful. someone shoulda broken this up into 4 or 5 parts. asking someone to watch a 3 hr lecture is asking alot...
but i still stand on my point. the issues brothers (and sistas) have with love and respect today has more to do with more recent circumstances. like she said... we had our own communities... like black wallstreet where we were building and healing and counting on each other. they were burned to the ground and we were given integration instead. during the civil rights movement and black power era, we were building and healing and counting on each other and we watched our leaders get assassinated or prison sentences. we were given negative images of ourselves thru the media and after that....somehow crack and a flood of guns mysteriously made it to everyhood in america.
so my point is, we can look back to slavery and know that we have alot of work to do within ourselves. we really do... but let's not act like the beast isnt actively working every day...24/7/365 thats not post traumatic anything. thats right now.
Maybe it's part of where you're from. Around here (northeast) a dude starts talking to you randomly, he wants something or is trying to run game. You learn to not hold eye contact for too long and keep it movin around a stranger. That's an innate safety precaution. In a twisted way, it is showing respect, because you got left alone.
That being said, now that I'm a little older, I get more head nods in passing. Once I started getting out of my area, I noticed in less urban areas people in general are more friendly. That is a little jarring at first.
My question to y'all is why is there a need for black men to acknowledge each other in any way? No other race pounds each other up just because of their race, why should we? Every man is not your brother.
That being said, now that I'm a little older, I get more head nods in passing. Once I started getting out of my area, I noticed in less urban areas people in general are more friendly. That is a little jarring at first.
My question to y'all is why is there a need for black men to acknowledge each other in any way? No other race pounds each other up just because of their race, why should we? Every man is not your brother.
Listen...I just dropped a quick anecdote.
I was with friends and really just did it by reflex...didn't think much of it.
I don't see a brother as a threat...
but I turned my back and kept walking and taking and dude came up made quick, we dont know homeboy like that.
That has NEVER happened before.
This was the summertime in the Bronx
It is what it is.
MANY on the board will tell you that unfortunately a smile and head nod ISN'T always a good thing in the hood.
But understand your point.
Yes.
But I have noticed it's different among older Black men, especially ones with family present.
There might be a regional component to it. I was working with this brother from Nigeria (I think)years ago. Nice guy and we got along well. One day, he just remarked to me how much he LOVED it in Charlotte compared to when he first got here and lived in NYC. He said when he makes eye contact with other Black men here, they will usually speak in some way but when he was in NYC, he would get "What are you looking me in my face for?"(exact quote, hilarious with his accent).
But I have noticed it's different among older Black men, especially ones with family present.
There might be a regional component to it. I was working with this brother from Nigeria (I think)years ago. Nice guy and we got along well. One day, he just remarked to me how much he LOVED it in Charlotte compared to when he first got here and lived in NYC. He said when he makes eye contact with other Black men here, they will usually speak in some way but when he was in NYC, he would get "What are you looking me in my face for?"(exact quote, hilarious with his accent).
Every black man I run into in the streets and make eye contact with I speak. I say simply, "What up Black Man?"
I have yet to get a funny or fucked up reply. I figure the mere fact that you recognize him as a MAN will get a response.
In America Black Men are not seen as men but boys. When you acknowledge another Black Man as a man then you speak to what is missing in his soul.
Add to that the mirror effect. By you recognizing another Black Man as a man you also recognize yourself as a man. Why? Because subconsciously you are looking at yourself whenever you look at another Black Man so in essence you are recognizing your own manhood.
I have yet to get a funny or fucked up reply. I figure the mere fact that you recognize him as a MAN will get a response.
In America Black Men are not seen as men but boys. When you acknowledge another Black Man as a man then you speak to what is missing in his soul.
Add to that the mirror effect. By you recognizing another Black Man as a man you also recognize yourself as a man. Why? Because subconsciously you are looking at yourself whenever you look at another Black Man so in essence you are recognizing your own manhood.
i feel ya. respect.
^^^agreed...
but on your second point I disagree.
My point is why shouldn't we?
I aint talking hugs kisses exchanges social security numbers...
just a heightened sense of respect overall
First off it would scare the hell out everyone.
I remember the Million Man March...that was the most powerful thing I was ever a part of.
And white people didn't know what to do with themselves.
If people remember when Hip Hop was wearing African Medallions, HSBC sweaters, Native Tongues, PE, X-Clan, KAM...
it was incredible...dont know what the hell happened.
its not wanting everyone Black TRUSTING each other...
Its wanting Black people to not always initially MISTRUST each other.
But I hear u I have been betrayed by those I considered brothers. But I try hard to not let that color my views. Its hard at times.
my brother
see that is another positive.
a healthy exchange.
You questioned something I wrote I explained it.
We cool.
That sh!t could have taken off in another direction on some "Black" stuff.
I've seen it happen so often on bgol when cats READ INTO something and taken things to a whole nother place just itching to star something.
Its like we have no patience with each other and ALWAYS think we need to be on the defensive.
I aint against trolls (NOT CALLING YOU ONE BY ANY MEANS)
but I think that type of negative energy doesn't create healthy debate or opposing view points...
just negative energy.
Especially on a black forum
This has been discussed before but under a different context. This seems like a big city type of thing.
When I am down south it seems like if you throw out the nod you get one back but up north muthafuckas will look at you like you crazy
^^^ co-sign ...being from up north and living down south I concur
The irony in that statement.
I always show respect to anyone who says hello to me,its mostly the older folks(include older women),who does it...On an occassion,I may get a nod from someone that's younger than me....
Its usually the women around my age who acts like Im about to rob them when I say hello....
Its usually the women around my age who acts like Im about to rob them when I say hello....
I always show respect to anyone who says hello to me,its mostly the older folks(include older women),who does it...On an occassion,I may get a nod from someone that's younger than me....
Its usually the women around my age who acts like Im about to rob them when I say hello....
NOT the first time I heard this...
kogalee
Banned
Fuck all you niggas. I tried to get all of you goddam sonsabitches to be cool. I tried to unite you niggas under the Holy Messenger Elijah Muhammad, by teaching you all that the white man is the devil.
You basterds said that I was a horrible troll and accused me of being a white devil. Fuck all yoo muuhfuckis main!
Fuck any body dat don't tress kogalee, main!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cause Im tide of yoo schnithes plantin fuckin dope in my god damn bean pies main and tryin to fuck up my hussle main!!!!!
that "showing respect by leaving someone alone" thing is like some prison type stuff to me...
I'm 45, so I'm through that trying to be hard phase-
I will usually give a head nod (up, not down.. lol) and a "whats up" to any black men I pass. Maybe it's because I'm older, but 99% of the time, cats respond. I will always smile and say a greeting to black women, and most will smile back and ask how I am.
To answer your question, depending on where I'm working, there are days when I might see one or two other black people (sometimes none) until I head home from work. so when I see a brother or sister, I make sure to speak. It might be for me as much as it is for them-as if to say; " We're few and far between here, and I understand all the bullshit you're putting up with" and it's a show of support.
(btw, I threw this on my white co-workers - I asked how their day would go if they were the only white person they saw all day and everyone they interacted with was black.... ohhh, they didn't like it when I went there...)
Sometimes, depending on where I am, I feel like people are saying "what up" to me just to let me know that they see me.. You know, like when you walk into the 7-11, and the cashier yells out: "HELLO, HOW ARE YOU!!!??" and then IMMEDIATELY goes back to reading their magazine.... I feel like they are really saying; "I SEE YOUR ASS! DON'T TRY TO STEAL ANYTHING!!!"
So, when I'm somewhere where there are more of us, I just want to spread the love. I find that being genuine can really get through to people and I will often get a genuine response.
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It's geographical or regional, generational and cultural.
For a culture to be maintained and kept alive those cultural values and principles have to be handed down to the next generation. If no one hands them down for whatever reason then those values and principles will eventually fade away and die out.
For a culture to be maintained and kept alive those cultural values and principles have to be handed down to the next generation. If no one hands them down for whatever reason then those values and principles will eventually fade away and die out.
Maaannnn, just shows you're in tune . . . was thinking this very same thing around the Trayvon Martin ruling.
SALUTE. In fact, I personally decided on a no beef policy and just started nodding at random brotha's like we all used to on college campuses.
I think it's an African thing. Dr. DeGruy spoke on it if I'm not mistaken. . . The idea is to let them know "I SEE YOU".
It's funny because I stopped AFTER I moved to NY, because peoples in BK & Harlem didn't seem to get it or reciprocate.
All said, I not only think that not doing it causes harm, but it's ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL.
JG
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Maybe this is an up north type of thing. Down here in Texas, everyone is pretty much cool.
I gotta make more of an effort to speak...
The second coolest thing my partnas and I noticed, when we were in Brasil, was how we'd be sitting around with maybe 50 brothas from all over the US, and EVERYBODY was cool, chattin with each other, sharing knowledge, just generally kickin it....no mean mugging, no fighting...ya spoke to everyone on the street.
I wish I coulda bottled that...
The second coolest thing my partnas and I noticed, when we were in Brasil, was how we'd be sitting around with maybe 50 brothas from all over the US, and EVERYBODY was cool, chattin with each other, sharing knowledge, just generally kickin it....no mean mugging, no fighting...ya spoke to everyone on the street.
I wish I coulda bottled that...
.........
I miss that shit, man.
I do think it's a regional thing. Pretty much everywhere I've been other than NY, black people are generally polite to each other.
NY is so congested with so many different personalities and cultures, you tend to just stay to yourself and the people who you already know. You can ride in a train car with hundreds of people, and it will still be a completely solitary experience. That kind of shit will begin to affect how you interact with people who you don't know in all scenarios.
Personally I'm at a point in my journey where I only want to interact with people who I can share a certain level of fellowship with, which is why I've began to gravitate towards the festival/rave scene over the club scene.
Have you been to a black club/lounge lately? That shit has become the phoniest bullshit ever. Just a bunch of ni99as being slaves to their egos trying to upstage each other. I recently saw some ni99as get into a fight because one group was able to skip the line while the others had to wait. The shit was sad, man. The whole idea of ni99as getting into fights at parties is crazy to me, but I digress.
To answer the original question, there's no such thing as too much love.
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as I'm reading the responses I realize that the up north Black Men need to really work on some fellowship...
but its so dangerous round here to let your guard down at times.
I think taking vertigo's approach and gonna try to start smiling at black women more...
but up here they have such a consistent ice grill on (and trust e I realize they got plenty of reason too) but I'm gonna make an effort...
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Yeah man, I def hear you.
Females carry around "baggage" . . . We (males) carry "armor" . . . no matter how hard you are, that shit gets EXHAUSTING.
I've had dicey exchanges with folks on the board before, but I don't consider it REAL beef ('cause that's not a typing thing, that's a knuckle up and worse thing). Nor do I wish ILL of them.
I still like to DEBATE though!
JG
This
you at least get a head nod in Houston....
I knew a guy who transferred from the Bronx to Houston for work. Once he got settled in he told me how hard it was to get used people here speaking if u happen to make eye contact.
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