Don't bring me into this. DHustla is hopeless and has caveman ideas about women.
Dang Camille
I'm sorry to hear this.
I'm getting tired of all this nonsense on BGOL. We have a bunch of Beta males running around here who need a weak, docile woman in order to feel like a man. They feel inferior and can't handle challenges. They want respect they haven't earned simply because they are men, and women don't work like that. A penis doesn't make you smarter, more competent, fit to lead, protect, provide or decide simply because you own one. Politics should have taught us this, if nothing else. There are a whole lot of men in leadership positions that have no business being there. (PSA: DON'T @ ME, IF THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU THEN KEEP IT MOVING)
The Betas around here are listening to all these misogynists who disparage women because it appeals to their weak nature. They get sucked in just like folks did with Russian propaganda and folks who get radicalized. They have someone who might say something with one grain of truth, but its still wrapped in a cloak that is anti Black women, and often anti Black men as well. They are amplifying harmful voices and messages because they said one right thing they agreed with, as though that excuses all the other toxicity.
I first came across Tommy Sotomayer when either Trayvon or Mike Brown was killed. His commentary on racism and police brutality was spot on. Then I listened to some of his other comments on other topics, and he was toxic and ugly to his core. I wasn't about to let that nonsense into my spirit because he might have one good take in one particular area. Most folks don't listen for nuance, even if the ones promoting these hustlers do. None of the men they listen to are in happy, successful marriages, yet somehow they have all the answers about women and life. SMH.
I give everyone a basic level of respect until they show themselves to deserve more or less. When I determine its less, I'm still generally not disrespectful, but I will dismiss them with the quickness. The menfolk I'm used to command - not demand - respect or earn it simply by their character, nature, and how they carry themselves. The menfolk in my family have a backbone, handle their business and none of them have ever whined about not getting respect. If you are not getting respect, figure out what Beta energy you are giving off or where you are falling short where she can't relax in your leadership and feel secure. No woman is going to treat you like a man if she is having to follow you around like a kid because you aren't holding up your end of the responsibilities.
::vent over::
This is my first and last comment about this.
Camille, another perspective to take into account is that the issues lay at the feet of both black men and black women.
Statistics show that no one's getting married, black men or black women(not in significant numbers)! So by your logic no one should listen to you or I about interpersonal relationships because we're not in a successful marriage.
It's interesting that women that raised those men get a pass; women that are disrespectful, disregarding, disingenuous, and dismissive of black men no matter the man's character, nature, or how they carry themselves. You say men whining about respect should figure out what beta energy they're giving off... yet these men are respected everywhere they set foot in the world except for in an American black woman's presence. These women run off or kill every man in their life, romantic or familial.
Somewhere along the line a man dropped the ball & taught the women that they couldn't trust a man and the cycle started.
And as black people we shouldnt be measuring each other on white people's index, i.e. alpha, beta, etc. It shows a lack of scholarship about who you are and where you come from.
Let's not mistake misogyny for establishing that men and women are different, we are not the same or equal. I believe in gender roles, and I don't think that is misogynistic. I see no issue with women having their own agency, choice, or freedoms as long as they accept the responsibilities that accompany them.
Many women want the power of a man, privilege of a female, and accountability of a child.
Also, men are more than just humans with a penis. What makes anyone a good leader is not their gender, but their ability to think critically, manage people & resources, get the best out of those being led, communicate effectively, delay gratification, plan ahead, etc. I agree that a penis doesn't qualify one to be a leader, nor does a vagina disqualify one to lead.
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