I have a Trashterpiece story I can never animate or produce but I don't mind telling yall niggas. Long story shortish I met this BAD jawn while I was doing a poetry show at the Wilma Theater. I was like 23 at the time and she was a fine-ass slim 21-year-old brownskin jawn with a plump ass and a set of titties you don't normally see on a slim jawn. She walked up to me and said she went to Community (College) and asked if she could write an article on me and my poetry for her journalism class. I gave her my number, she did this extensive, well-thought-out interview over the phone and afterward, I asked if she wanted to go to the movies. She said yes.
She lived down North around 13th and Lehigh and I'm from 22nd & Lippincott so it wasn't that far to go scoop her. She lived with her grandparents and when I went to the spot and told them who I was there to pick up, they were like "WHO?? Seriously????" They were so flabbergasted. All kinds of cousins and shit popped up wanting to meet me. Niggas was coming out of the blue. When she finally came downstairs the women cousins who just came over took her back upstairs to make her put on something sexier. That was weird, but whatever, I was happy to see that cleavage and hips. We left and that shit was like a prom send off. Niggas was so happy. My dumbass was thinking that she must be a really good girl or maybe she was getting over a bad breakup and her folks were finally happy to see her dating again.
It's like a 30-minute drive or so up to Franklin Mills to the movies In the car she kept asking the same questions over and over again. Like nigga, you JUST asked me that. And when I tried to ask her shit she wasn't really responsive to what I was saying or she'd just crack a big goofy smile and look out the window before asking me the SAME questions again. This went on for the first 15 mins of the drive. During the silent moments, I kept thinking about the scene with her family. Why were niggas so surprised and happy? Then she'd break the silence by asking the same ass questions AGAIN. Then that shit just hit me. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, she slow!!!!!! That's why niggas were surprised. That's why she keeps asking the same questions. FUCK!!!!!!!"
Everything in me wanted to bang a U-turn and drop her ass back off but I was like that's gonna make me a real piece of shit. But I damn sure wasn't about to be at Franklin Mills with jawn. That spot used to be popping and you'd see all kinds of people you knew there. The fucked up part is I chose that spot initially for that very reason because jawn body was so bad and she was so cute. But I made a detour to the little ducky movie spot at Woodhaven instead. We watched the movie and I never drove so fast in my life down 95 to take jawn home. When we got to her spot it was more people there. That shit looked like the scene from Antwone Fisher when he finally met all of his family. It was all kinds of uncles and shit there. Niggas was basically trying to marry jawn off on me. They didn't wanna let me leave but I made up some lie on why I had to go. As I was leaving out it was MORE niggas coming in to meet me. I went back to the block and told my niggas what happened. Half of them clowned me for being slow myself and not recognizing. The other half clowned me for not fucking her.
I felt like a piece of shit but I never took any more of her calls. The article she wrote was fire though.
