Damn, never know what's under the clothing!!!
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You've been working from home since January, but you forgot you have an in person meeting this Friday. You're basically in need of a haircut, but the barber shops are closed now. You call your friend, Hector, who is out of town, but he recommends his cousin India (India is from Puerto Rico and has been staying with him since the hurricane hit PR). Fortunately, Hector lives upstairs so India doesn't have far to travel and she comes downstairs.
Surprisingly, India does a good job and you're thankful and give her a very generous tip. She sees that you own a nice camera, and you tell her that you take photos for a hobby. India then suggests she model for you, and so it begins...
Surprisingly, India does a good job and you're thankful and give her a very generous tip. She sees that you own a nice camera, and you tell her that you take photos for a hobby. India then suggests she model for you, and so it begins...
Office politics can be really tricky. You're married, but you like to flirt with the women in the office and sometimes "hook up" with a few. So, you find yourself sending love letters to a new employee, but she ain’t feeling you and reports you to Human Resources.
You end up having a closed door meeting with Ms. Jansen (Swedish\British, who dates white, but sleeps black), and she will decide your faith. The recommendation is to suspend you for 6 months with no pay. Ms. Jansen tells you what is on the table, but she will cut it to 90 days without pay and write an unofficial letter stating you violated office policy for getting into a verbal/physical altercation (she's lying for you because your wife will be upset if she knew you got suspended for writing love notes to some young girl).
You, "Thank" Ms. Jansen, but she explains you must be available to "service" her over the next 90 days or else these love letters will mysterious find there way to your wife.
You end up having a closed door meeting with Ms. Jansen (Swedish\British, who dates white, but sleeps black), and she will decide your faith. The recommendation is to suspend you for 6 months with no pay. Ms. Jansen tells you what is on the table, but she will cut it to 90 days without pay and write an unofficial letter stating you violated office policy for getting into a verbal/physical altercation (she's lying for you because your wife will be upset if she knew you got suspended for writing love notes to some young girl).
You, "Thank" Ms. Jansen, but she explains you must be available to "service" her over the next 90 days or else these love letters will mysterious find there way to your wife.
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Your girlfriend has a roommate, Kelly, originally from New Jersey and attending NYU Grad School (it's easier to live in the city than to commute each day).
You plan on taking your girl out this evening and you call her to let her know you are coming over. She has to work a bit late, but she doesn't have a problem if you wait at the house if Kelly is going to be home (she calls Kelly, and it's kool).
Kelly's a nice girl, and dresses very conservatively (no boyfriend, doesn't go out much either). So, you're sitting in the living room watching tv, and a commercial for P-Valley comes on. Kelly's curious about the show (her and your girl have watched a few episodes) and asks you if you think she could be a stripper?
You tell her that you’re not sure those girls are bold, and well...
(Before you can finish your sentence)
You weren't expecting that followed by some photos she shows you, while saying:
"This is our little secret, okay."
You plan on taking your girl out this evening and you call her to let her know you are coming over. She has to work a bit late, but she doesn't have a problem if you wait at the house if Kelly is going to be home (she calls Kelly, and it's kool).
Kelly's a nice girl, and dresses very conservatively (no boyfriend, doesn't go out much either). So, you're sitting in the living room watching tv, and a commercial for P-Valley comes on. Kelly's curious about the show (her and your girl have watched a few episodes) and asks you if you think she could be a stripper?
You tell her that you’re not sure those girls are bold, and well...
(Before you can finish your sentence)
You weren't expecting that followed by some photos she shows you, while saying:
"This is our little secret, okay."
You've been feeling a bit ill for the last few days so you go to a Citymd to get checked out. Dr. Quinn ask you a few questions while checking your vitals, and after that things got a little weird.
Dr. Quinn, based on her evaluation has determined that you are exhibiting signs of a variation of the flu, which is making you feel lethargic. So she does the following...
After doing this, Dr. Quinn wants to see your reaction to direct stimulus.
Dr. Quinn, based on her evaluation has determined that you are exhibiting signs of a variation of the flu, which is making you feel lethargic. So she does the following...
After doing this, Dr. Quinn wants to see your reaction to direct stimulus.
Clawd a mercy!!!!
My cousin, who lived on the 32nd floor on the Upper East side of Manhattan was testing out some binoculars he got for Christmas. He noticed an apartment about a block away from him with large windows, but no shades, blinds or curtains.
It was just a clear view into the apartment. Well, one day he noticed a woman would walk around the apartment totally nude, and would even come directly to the window (Strange thing is that I had a woman approximately a block away from me that did the same thing, years ago).
By the way, this is a true story.
It was just a clear view into the apartment. Well, one day he noticed a woman would walk around the apartment totally nude, and would even come directly to the window (Strange thing is that I had a woman approximately a block away from me that did the same thing, years ago).
By the way, this is a true story.
I feel bad for Bob, because his wife can't hold her liquor. Last weekend, Bob, his wife Kelly, myself and Nilsa decided to go to Atlantic city for the weekend. Unfortunately, Kelly had too much to drink and got into an argument with Bob. She ends up running out the room, and went downstairs to this restaurant in the hotel. He calls me and asks Nilsa if she could go downstairs and convince Kelly to come back to the room.
Well, I go downstairs with Nilsa, and we find Kelly sitting in the restaurant with a bathrobe on. At first, Kelly refuses to go back to the room with Bob, and tells us that she would just as soon sleep in the restaurant and she starts to disrobe.
Eventually, Kelly decides she will spend the night in our room. This basically means no sex for me and Nilsa while Kelly is in the room.
Well, I go downstairs with Nilsa, and we find Kelly sitting in the restaurant with a bathrobe on. At first, Kelly refuses to go back to the room with Bob, and tells us that she would just as soon sleep in the restaurant and she starts to disrobe.
Eventually, Kelly decides she will spend the night in our room. This basically means no sex for me and Nilsa while Kelly is in the room.
You've been working from home since January, but some of your computer programs are malfunctioning so you call IT. Chandra, one of the IT techs is working from home, but has to step out for a few minutes and tells you to get in touch with Shauna. Shauna usually works nights and weekends and she's still learning, but she makes an effort.
So you call Shauna around 11 PM and she's able to restore all of your programs, but she wants to make sure your Zoom video conferencing is working properly. Shauna walks you through it and you're happy things are working again. Actually, you're very happy because Shauna is wearing, well...
You're probably confused as hell, and don't know how to react, and right at that minute you think of how to play this, Shauna gets another call. She tells you she has to take this and call her back around 3 AM, if you have some time.
So you call Shauna around 11 PM and she's able to restore all of your programs, but she wants to make sure your Zoom video conferencing is working properly. Shauna walks you through it and you're happy things are working again. Actually, you're very happy because Shauna is wearing, well...
You're probably confused as hell, and don't know how to react, and right at that minute you think of how to play this, Shauna gets another call. She tells you she has to take this and call her back around 3 AM, if you have some time.
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So, you take Marisol out this evening and you're sure she going to get a few stares with this dress, but...
You get to see everything later, Live and in Concert!
You get to see everything later, Live and in Concert!
A guy's worst nightmare, you go out on a "blind date" with her, make sure she gets home safe. She invites you upstairs and then ties you up and forces you to have sex with her for hours (remember, she's holding a gun).
Do you ever meet women that are really book smart, but pretend to act like they are naive when it comes to sex?
You're visiting a good friend in the hospital and you notice a nurse that is making her rounds and comes to check on your friend. You make eye contact, but you don't think anything of it because you're concerned about your friend's health.
Well, visiting hours end at 8 pm, and your friend needs some rest so you start to leave out around 7pm. When you step out the room the nurse that you were checking out is sitting outside his room, and tells you that you can't leave now. Furthermore, she tells you that you will have to stay until 8 pm (she's smiling while she is telling you this).
She then ask you for a small favor, if you could escorted her to the utility closet, and help her with a wet mop and bucket because a patient had an accident. You agree, but when you get to the closet she closes the door and...
Well, visiting hours end at 8 pm, and your friend needs some rest so you start to leave out around 7pm. When you step out the room the nurse that you were checking out is sitting outside his room, and tells you that you can't leave now. Furthermore, she tells you that you will have to stay until 8 pm (she's smiling while she is telling you this).
She then ask you for a small favor, if you could escorted her to the utility closet, and help her with a wet mop and bucket because a patient had an accident. You agree, but when you get to the closet she closes the door and...
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Amy, your next door neighbor knocks on your door because she needs a favor. She explains she needs to borrow a few of your tools to fix her bed and a few other things. She explains that her boyfriend was supposed to do it, but they had a big fight recently.
You listen for a while, but you really want to get back to the football games. I guess her man made her feel unwanted so now she's asking you if you think she's sexy?
You listen for a while, but you really want to get back to the football games. I guess her man made her feel unwanted so now she's asking you if you think she's sexy?
She'll have you going to Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins, 3 or 4 times a week, just because you like how she scoops up the ice cream.
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