Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal?

[sherminator]

Thanks man, well me and the fiancé thing ended, women.... so I'm a dad, and honestly trying to move to new Orleans as soon as I find a job, currently I work for a doc, the pay is light but I'm learning a lot. As cliche as it sounds one day at a time man

I quoted myself to come back and speak on this, brothers, and sisters, 3 years I was in a rut, minor victories here and there, but nothing tangible, my fiancé didn't want to be with me, I was working a job that was just getting me along but would sometimes go weeks with no work, I had a child on the way... things were dark very dark.

Well in September I got a call from a person I interviewed with when I graduated, well he offered me a job, in New Orleans the city I wanted to live in and making solid money.

I am beyond happy, and honestly can't remember the last time I have been this happy, I connected with my father, and my sister and two brothers through my father, it saddens me that I can't spend time with my son more often because of the distance, but now I can provide more for him. There are still aspects of my life I want better or in order, but honestly life is good

So for anybody going through it, hold on be strong, and know your come up is coming and when it does you will not even look back but every now and again, and always remember you need to encourage others despite your failings or fortune because you don't know how your kind words may help others, who are going through what you are or are seemingly worst off, grow through your slump not just go

Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I learned today that I'm being laid off in June. My employer cut a large number of IT staff in the US and Canada today. I was a prime target, partially due to my location in NYC. They have and continue to make Buffalo, NY and the Chicago area IT locations in the US.

I'm worried,angry, stressed, but determined to recover from what is a life changing event for me. This is probably the worst day I've had in more than a decade.

Man figure your options and your next move but keep pushing, peace and blessings brother

Still not getting better lost another job. Now homeless living relatives and it's not good.

I was there living with my mom, 3 years at 30, but shit turned around the same will happen for you I believe it, peace and blessings

 

[The Plutonian]

To all my fam on that struggle, stay the course man. You have to think about it. Do you have two eyes? Can see? Some people were born blind. Do you have all your arms? Toes? Some were born without legs. Is fat meat still greasy?ok, that was humor! But the point is this. You're alive. A living breathing phenomena. Your time is coming, stay humble and walk it out. I did. Many times. No shame, no kicking you either. I know

 

[playahaitian]

http://www.bgol.us/forum/index.php?...sualize-what-you-want-need-aspire-for.897592/

 

[Adam Knows]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal


Roughly 5 years ago in the course of one month...

-I got wrongfully terminated from my job during the great rescission

-Had a huge falling out with my lady at the time

-Had to resort to living in my truck/on by man's couch off and on for 6 months.

-Baby on the way, with the same women who I bad a falling out with, whose threatening to sue me (she was a lawyer...I sure do pick em!) every other week.

-Emptied out my 401k to live and go to finish up my degree I was hours out on.

This went on every day for two fucking years.

I dealt with it the same way you'd eat an elephant...one bite at a time. Break the issue down into smaller component that you can handle that day, hell that hour. Small victories add up.


Two things I learned....


-When your going through hell KEEP GOING. It will eventually turn around.

-However bad you have it someone has it worse than you. There are people whose only wish is to not be facing death everyday.







* two cents *

Damn.

You probably wouldnt have accepted but would have donated to the cause if it got down to that back then

 

[bubba2k5]

I quoted myself to come back and speak on this, brothers, and sisters, 3 years I was in a rut, minor victories here and there, but nothing tangible, my fiancé didn't want to be with me, I was working a job that was just getting me along but would sometimes go weeks with no work, I had a child on the way... things were dark very dark.

Well in September I got a call from a person I interviewed with when I graduated, well he offered me a job, in New Orleans the city I wanted to live in and making solid money.

I am beyond happy, and honestly can't remember the last time I have been this happy, I connected with my father, and my sister and two brothers through my father, it saddens me that I can't spend time with my son more often because of the distance, but now I can provide more for him. There are still aspects of my life I want better or in order, but honestly life is good

So for anybody going through it, hold on be strong, and know your come up is coming and when it does you will not even look back but every now and again, and always remember you need to encourage others despite your failings or fortune because you don't know how your kind words may help others, who are going through what you are or are seemingly worst off, grow through your slump not just go

Good to hear bruh

 

[TheAlias]

http://www.bgol.us/forum/index.php?...sualize-what-you-want-need-aspire-for.897592/

I'm sorry but this is stupid.

 

[The Plutonian]

I'm sorry but this is stupid.

Remove 'sorry but this is'

 

[Osca Lee]

I don't give a fuck how hard life gets...never ever give up...keep your mf head high and do what is needed to have peace within.

Fuck what other mfs think or say...focus on you and your well being and spirit cause mfs will drain your peace if you allow them to drain it.

 

[Kooper1]

For anyone in a financial predicament....please go to the Dollar Tree. It may sound like I'm talking shit, but I'm not. You will be able purchase most of what you need at that store, including groceries. Groceries!
If it comes down to it, you could feed yourself for a week (filling meals) with something to drink for like $12-13. You can get your cleaning and sanitary shit from there too

 

[trstar]

Bump. This is a good post. Depression manifests itself in many forms.

Often it's best to return to the basics. Eat well, rest, and work out.

 

[sherminator]

Good to hear bruh

Fam-lay you gotta come through nola man we gotta break bread

 

[playahaitian]

I'm sorry but this is stupid.

damn...

its just a Buddhist mindset.

And there is something I found in it that was true...

sometimes you have to just LIVE in the MOMENT.

Don't force it, just visualize and BELIEVE in something...

BELIEVE in the HAPPY and LIVE that way.

don't make it something to WANT to NEED and ALL about YOURSELF

Just BE HAPPY and everything else will follow

at least that is how I took it.

 

[bubba2k5]

Fam-lay you gotta come through nola man we gotta break bread

For sure, I almost came for all-star. I'll hit you up when I plan on making a trip.

 

[sherminator]

At the end of the day ric flair said it best

 

[Jeanyus]

Best advice is to weather the storm. I know it sounds cliche but that's all you can do. Also, drugs help a lot. Weed, pills, etc, booze, etc

 

[CORNBREAD]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal



appreciated and understood

sometimes constantly being told it gets better seems like a brush off

but its truth and hearing it can help you change your mind-state.

and thank you for your music...it does help.

Yw.I will be spending time in the New York Parks...sometimes we have to get off the concrete Jungle and get close to nature.Surround yourself with positive people and exercise to bring out those chemicals that make you feel *high*. I will post some music when I get a chance .

 

[cokely_muhammad]

Fam-lay you gotta come through nola man we gotta break bread

Break Bread?
Are you howngry and starving or somethin?

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

damn...

its just a Buddhist mindset.

And there is something I found in it that was true...

sometimes you have to just LIVE in the MOMENT.

Don't force it, just visualize and BELIEVE in something...

BELIEVE in the HAPPY and LIVE that way.

don't make it something to WANT to NEED and ALL about YOURSELF

Just BE HAPPY and everything else will follow

at least that is how I took it.

everybody aint ready fo that sun...

they dont understand by not wanting and yearning

you can focus more on growing and acheiving and before you know it all the things you need and more are within arms reach..

and by letting go your ego, you are defeating your greatest enemy...

 

[sherminator]

Break Bread?
Are you howngry and starving or somethin?

Euphemism for grab a brew or something I know you trolling though

 

[The Plutonian]

Fam-lay you gotta come through nola man we gotta break bread

Well shit what about me son? Hell, I'm family too wtf?

 

[sherminator]

Well shit what about me son? Hell, I'm family to wtf?

Shid you in Nola it is what it is

 

[TheAlias]

damn...

its just a Buddhist mindset.

And there is something I found in it that was true...

sometimes you have to just LIVE in the MOMENT.

Don't force it, just visualize and BELIEVE in something...

BELIEVE in the HAPPY and LIVE that way.

don't make it something to WANT to NEED and ALL about YOURSELF

Just BE HAPPY and everything else will follow

at least that is how I took it.

Reading through this thread I see brothers that are out of a job, no money, no woman, no place to live. You think deluding yourself into thinking you don't need those things will help?

Nah.

 

[True Real Info]

Im fuckin going through it.have been for awhile its gettin better slowly,thanks for this thread.

 

[True Real Info]

Intry to meditate in parks in the weekend early in the am.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

I'm not quite Black, but between 2012 and 2014 I went through a series of tragedies today nearly destroyed me.

August 2012. Wife's pregnancy complications force me to quit my job to take care of her

October 2012. ATF raids the bar I DJ at and I lose my side hustle

November 2012. Wife nearly dies during childbirth. I rent a car to take her to her aftercare appointments but can't afford to pay for it

December 2012 I get arrested for grand theft auto. Go to Santa Rita county jail and nearly get deported.

January 2013. Newborn daughter dies

March 2013 wife dies and I lose custody of our surviving daughter.

June 2013. I get evicted from our 3 bedroom apartment. I have to move into a 75 sqft foot room in a house full of meth addicts.

February 2014 fed up with rats and no heat my roommates and I launch a rent strike. It nearly costs me my home, new job, car and every worldly possession once things get ugly.

April 2014. Rent strike ends with a buyout. I use the money to move and start a new life. Things finally start getting better.

So how did I deal? The worse my situation got the more fucked up people I encountered. Each one of them was a reminder of what I'd become if I let misfortune get the better of me. So every day I'd wake up and hustle harder than the day before until eventually I outlasted the situations. Last month I tattooed the words "this too shall pass" on my arm to remind me of what I went through.

I also went through the painful task of tracing my condition back to my choices. Not everything that happened was my fault, but bad and desperate decisions make bad luck a lot more likely.

For instance, one of the rooms in our 3 bedroom apartment was full of junk that we rarely used or even looked at. If we had sorted through got rid of what we didn't need we could have got by with a 2 bedroom and saved enough money to keep the car running. I wouldn't have needed to steal a car or go to jail.

Furthermore, if I hadn't married a woman with sickle cell and a gastric bypass I could have focused more on my career and less on her health. I would be in a much different place today

 

[richminded]

Dam Danny respect bro

 

[playahaitian]

Reading through this thread I see brothers that are out of a job, no money, no woman, no place to live. You think deluding yourself into thinking you don't need those things will help?

Nah.

where and when did I saw to delude yourself?

Or that you didn't need food and shelter though?

No where did I say not to work hard network take a class network etc...

ALL I said was BELIEVE in YOURSELF and BE HAPPY.

What exactly is wrong with that?

 

[donwuan]

Furthermore, if I hadn't married a woman with sickle cell and a gastric bypass I could have focused more on my career and less on her health. I would be in a much different place today

While this maybe true that's some cold shit to say about your dead wife.

 

[yureeka9]

I'm not quite Black, but between 2012 and 2014 I went through a series of tragedies today nearly destroyed me.

August 2012. Wife's pregnancy complications force me to quit my job to take care of her

October 2012. ATF raids the bar I DJ at and I lose my side hustle

November 2012. Wife nearly dies during childbirth. I rent a car to take her to her aftercare appointments but can't afford to pay for it

December 2012 I get arrested for grand theft auto. Go to Santa Rita county jail and nearly get deported.

January 2013. Newborn daughter dies

March 2013 wife dies and I lose custody of our surviving daughter.

June 2013. I get evicted from our 3 bedroom apartment. I have to move into a 75 sqft foot room in a house full of meth addicts.

February 2014 fed up with rats and no heat my roommates and I launch a rent strike. It nearly costs me my home, new job, car and every worldly possession once things get ugly.

April 2014. Rent strike ends with a buyout. I use the money to move and start a new life. Things finally start getting better.

So how did I deal? The worse my situation got the more fucked up people I encountered. Each one of them was a reminder of what I'd become if I let misfortune get the better of me. So every day I'd wake up and hustle harder than the day before until eventually I outlasted the situations. Last month I tattooed the words "this too shall pass" on my arm to remind me of what I went through.

I also went through the painful task of tracing my condition back to my choices. Not everything that happened was my fault, but bad and desperate decisions make bad luck a lot more likely.

For instance, one of the rooms in our 3 bedroom apartment was full of junk that we rarely used or even looked at. If we had sorted through got rid of what we didn't need we could have got by with a 2 bedroom and saved enough money to keep the car running. I wouldn't have needed to steal a car or go to jail.

Furthermore, if I hadn't married a woman with sickle cell and a gastric bypass I could have focused more on my career and less on her health. I would be in a much different place today

Damn!!!!

 

[yureeka9]

Just found this thread, but unloading can be therapeutic. I'm pretty stable now, but I've had some pretty dark years in the past.

1994 - House I was renting burned down and owner claimed all of my shit in the insurance settlement. Lost everything I own. I didn't get a dime. Lost my job, broke up with my girl, and someone broke into my car and stole my wallet. Next week before I could replace my license and proof of insurance I get arrested for not having them. Car gets impounded and all the oil leaks out. I get out of jail and have to walk to retrieve it. Engine locks up.

1997 - No job, homeless, no car. Sleeping on my sister's living room floor. When I finally do get a job its two buses, 2 trains and 2 miles of walking to get there.

2004 - I'm in Seattle 2500 miles away from any help. I get laid off in July and my building is sold in August. Everyone has to get out. I live in the roach motel for 3 months while I'm waiting to start another job.

Thankfully these are kinda mild compared to what you guys have gone through, but like a lot of other people have said, I stayed focused and took one problem at a time. Dealing with all this shit has taught me that as long as I have my right mind and my health I can pretty pull myself out of any hole.

 

[Osca Lee]

I salute all of you...

 

[CPT Callamity]

I just hit a rough spot.
I got laid off recently. Heathcare and all that, gone.
They told me out the blue after assuring us we would have work coming. Since the new administration is coming in,
contracts aren't getting signed like very quickly as they are also freezing Fed hiring. Axed my whole department that did most of the work.
I would be stressed but luckily saving a few coins will keep me going.
This is probably the second time in 3 years so I didn't trip. Just making phone calls, looking to take some classes and sending off resumes.

I'm holding it together but it's quite a blow just days before I turn the corner in life (big 4-0). Maybe it's a good thing. We'll see tho.

 

[cocobeauty]

This is why I can never give up on black men, because the strength you all have to keep going is what gives us strength.

I love yall for this thread especially yall coming back showing it's gotten better and to tell others not to give up.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

While this maybe true that's some cold shit to say about your dead wife.

I loved my wife with all my heart, but the fact is that her horrible eating habits killed her. Either I acknowledge this or I go through the same tragedy with another woman. Next time I may not survive.

 

[cokely_muhammad]

Euphemism for grab a brew or something I know you trolling though

Naw breh, I was just going to send you a free bean pie