Never underestimate
the Vanity
of a Woman.
the Vanity
of a Woman.
Curry and Tikka Masala Thread - Indian Women Ongoing Thread (Add On)
- Thread starter b-stro
- Start date
When you were coming home late from working overtime you just happened to see a very drunk Mr. Devi stumbling out of an Uber. Playing the "Good Samaritan" you helped him inside the building and escorted him to his apartment.
It's about 2:00 AM, and you hated to wake up Mrs. Devi, but you had no choice. It took her about 5 minutes before she cam to the door, and you had Mr. Devi propped up against the wall because he would have fallen on his face if you didn’t.
Then you and Mrs. Devi struggled to get him into the "Guest room" since it was closer to the door than the "Master bedroom." Mrs. Devi took off his jacket, tie and shoes and then covered him up (he was barely conscious and was basically "dead weight.")
While you were assisting her you found yourself faced with another problem...Mrs. Devi. You tried hard to avoid looking at her, but you noticed she had a flawless "mocha complexion," and you were overwhelmed by the scent of Vanilla emanating from her body. What exacerbated the situation was that she was only wearing a sheer robe that she had just thrown on to cover her naked body assuming that Mr. Devi was alone at the door.
She appreciated your help and offered you some coffee or tea for your kindness and suggested you sit down in the "Master bedroom" with her for a few minutes. She apologized for being in her state of undress, and covered up with a blanket as she spoke. However, she noticed that you struggled to make direct eye contact with her as she spoke.
She asked: "Am I that unpleasant to your eyes?"
You: "No"
She then said: "Then you should look at me directly, I don't bite unless you want me to, and I think you do."
It's about 2:00 AM, and you hated to wake up Mrs. Devi, but you had no choice. It took her about 5 minutes before she cam to the door, and you had Mr. Devi propped up against the wall because he would have fallen on his face if you didn’t.
Then you and Mrs. Devi struggled to get him into the "Guest room" since it was closer to the door than the "Master bedroom." Mrs. Devi took off his jacket, tie and shoes and then covered him up (he was barely conscious and was basically "dead weight.")
While you were assisting her you found yourself faced with another problem...Mrs. Devi. You tried hard to avoid looking at her, but you noticed she had a flawless "mocha complexion," and you were overwhelmed by the scent of Vanilla emanating from her body. What exacerbated the situation was that she was only wearing a sheer robe that she had just thrown on to cover her naked body assuming that Mr. Devi was alone at the door.
She appreciated your help and offered you some coffee or tea for your kindness and suggested you sit down in the "Master bedroom" with her for a few minutes. She apologized for being in her state of undress, and covered up with a blanket as she spoke. However, she noticed that you struggled to make direct eye contact with her as she spoke.
She asked: "Am I that unpleasant to your eyes?"
You: "No"
She then said: "Then you should look at me directly, I don't bite unless you want me to, and I think you do."
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oldie but goodie
Lily is a good friend of yours and you told her that your family from Maryland was coming to visit you. She suggested that you at least take some time and clean up the place, and even offered to help you.
You picked the hottest week of the year to clean up, but you only had a few days left before they would arrive. Lily decided to clean the bathroom, however, the ventilation in the bathroom is poor and it's get very hot in there. So after about 15 minutes you went to check on Lily and she had jumped in the shower with her dress on to cool off.
So, you figured you would take a break and sit down in the bathroom and keep her company (the cold water from the shower and the mist actually felt good). Now, while you're sitting there Lily decided to flash you and you're ready to move in on her (on numerous occasions you let it be know that you wanted to "get with her," and on numerous occasions she has turned you down), but you get shut down...again.
You're sitting here getting mixed signals from Lily and you're thinking,
"Things could be better, but there getting worst, this chick is getting naked and my balls about to burst."
You've always know that Lily was a bit on the crazy side, but this makes no sense?
You've got to do something, but what?
You had grown so accustomed to being "turned down" when you made advances, you figured that "reverse psychology" might work and told Lily that it was time for you to go back to cleaning and you got up and started to walk out.
If she felt you rejected her that would be a serious blow to her ego.
Lily: "Come join me."
You picked the hottest week of the year to clean up, but you only had a few days left before they would arrive. Lily decided to clean the bathroom, however, the ventilation in the bathroom is poor and it's get very hot in there. So after about 15 minutes you went to check on Lily and she had jumped in the shower with her dress on to cool off.
So, you figured you would take a break and sit down in the bathroom and keep her company (the cold water from the shower and the mist actually felt good). Now, while you're sitting there Lily decided to flash you and you're ready to move in on her (on numerous occasions you let it be know that you wanted to "get with her," and on numerous occasions she has turned you down), but you get shut down...again.
You're sitting here getting mixed signals from Lily and you're thinking,
"Things could be better, but there getting worst, this chick is getting naked and my balls about to burst."
You've always know that Lily was a bit on the crazy side, but this makes no sense?
You've got to do something, but what?
You had grown so accustomed to being "turned down" when you made advances, you figured that "reverse psychology" might work and told Lily that it was time for you to go back to cleaning and you got up and started to walk out.
If she felt you rejected her that would be a serious blow to her ego.
Lily: "Come join me."
She lucky she got a fat ass
She won me over with that "Charm's" Cherry Blow Pop.
Naira used to run track at Temple University and had competed in several track meets until she injured her knee so she had a big interest in the upcoming Olympic games. You and her seemed to have bonded over the games and that lead her to inviting you over to watch the Olympics with her on television.
Then only issue was that Naira was very cautious and was rarely seen in the office (you worked together) without a medical mask or some type of face covering and you asked her would this be required if you came to visit? She said that it would be optional because she figured the circumstances would be similar to our work environment.
The opening day ceremony would be Friday night, but there would be a few preliminary events that would take place before then. You agreed that you would meet up at her place and she called to confirm and asked you would you like to bring anything? You told her you were willing to bring whatever she would like.
You figured that pizza and Buffalo chicken wings would make for something good to munch on and Naira seemed to enjoy the food. However, she started saying that she can't have too much because she already was a "fat girl."
You looked at her like she was crazy and albeit Naira would usually wear loose fitting clothing and occasionally traditional Indian garb she didn't appear to be overweight.
So you told her: "Stop lying"
That prompted Naira to undress right in front of you and you couldn't stop staring at her to which she replied:
"Well, since your mouth is open you can perform "liposuction" on me.
Then only issue was that Naira was very cautious and was rarely seen in the office (you worked together) without a medical mask or some type of face covering and you asked her would this be required if you came to visit? She said that it would be optional because she figured the circumstances would be similar to our work environment.
The opening day ceremony would be Friday night, but there would be a few preliminary events that would take place before then. You agreed that you would meet up at her place and she called to confirm and asked you would you like to bring anything? You told her you were willing to bring whatever she would like.
You figured that pizza and Buffalo chicken wings would make for something good to munch on and Naira seemed to enjoy the food. However, she started saying that she can't have too much because she already was a "fat girl."
You looked at her like she was crazy and albeit Naira would usually wear loose fitting clothing and occasionally traditional Indian garb she didn't appear to be overweight.
So you told her: "Stop lying"
That prompted Naira to undress right in front of you and you couldn't stop staring at her to which she replied:
"Well, since your mouth is open you can perform "liposuction" on me.
Fate would have it that you keep running into Indira Doshi. The first time was in "Keyfood" when you were doing some grocery shopping and her perfume caught your attention. You're usually not so forward, but you felt the need to ask her what fragrance was she wearing? As you recall, she said it was "Devotion" by Dolce and Gabbana and that sparked a brief conversation.
Over the next few weeks you would run into Indira around the same type shopping and that eventually lead to a friendship. Yeah, you had designs on her, but "slow and steady" seemed to be the par for the course in this situation. To your surprise one day after meeting in your usual place, she told you that she was going to try her hands at baking a cake (her first time) for her "boyfriend."
"Boyfriend" was not the word you wanted to hear coming from Indira's lips, but in the back of your mind you figured it was bound to happen, and your "snail's pace" approach had backfired once again.
However, she did invite you over because she wanted you to sample her culinary skills before she gave the cake to the one it was intended for, and you agreed. Thinking a "consolation prize" would be better than no prize at all.
Nevertheless, upon arriving...
and Indira explained: "I don't have a boyfriend... yet."
Over the next few weeks you would run into Indira around the same type shopping and that eventually lead to a friendship. Yeah, you had designs on her, but "slow and steady" seemed to be the par for the course in this situation. To your surprise one day after meeting in your usual place, she told you that she was going to try her hands at baking a cake (her first time) for her "boyfriend."
"Boyfriend" was not the word you wanted to hear coming from Indira's lips, but in the back of your mind you figured it was bound to happen, and your "snail's pace" approach had backfired once again.
However, she did invite you over because she wanted you to sample her culinary skills before she gave the cake to the one it was intended for, and you agreed. Thinking a "consolation prize" would be better than no prize at all.
Nevertheless, upon arriving...
and Indira explained: "I don't have a boyfriend... yet."
You're still trying to figure out how you managed to get "Farhana" to come over?
Your first date with "Didi," and after you go out to dinner you come back to your place. You go to the bathroom just to "freshen up" a bit and tell her to make herself at home and get comfortable.
Upon returning from the bathroom you find "Didi" got really comfortable, but tells you:
"Let's just sit here and watch tv."
Upon returning from the bathroom you find "Didi" got really comfortable, but tells you:
"Let's just sit here and watch tv."
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Experimental photo shoot:
On a few occasions, Meena (your coworker) would compliment you on your voice (especially when you were on the telephone). She would kid around with you and tell you that she could use you for "phone sex."
You would just laugh and say that you guess that was a compliment?
There was one particular night that Meena left out of work (she would leave at midnight) and she forgot her cell phone charger. So she called the office and you picked up and she asked you to check to see if it was under her desk (it was). Because it was a light night, you and Meena started talking and you noticed a light buzzing sound in the background. She told you that it was probably a bad connection, but you sounded clear to her.
In addition, Meena started moaning and you asked her was she okay?
She said it was probably something that she ate for lunch, but the moaning went on for a good 10 minutes.
After a while, you hear Meena yell out like she was in some serious pain.
You could hear her breathing hard after that and suggested that she should probably just go lay down.
She agreed and said "Good night."
You have to find out what restaurant she ordered from and what she ordered so you can avoid that place.
You would just laugh and say that you guess that was a compliment?
There was one particular night that Meena left out of work (she would leave at midnight) and she forgot her cell phone charger. So she called the office and you picked up and she asked you to check to see if it was under her desk (it was). Because it was a light night, you and Meena started talking and you noticed a light buzzing sound in the background. She told you that it was probably a bad connection, but you sounded clear to her.
In addition, Meena started moaning and you asked her was she okay?
She said it was probably something that she ate for lunch, but the moaning went on for a good 10 minutes.
After a while, you hear Meena yell out like she was in some serious pain.
You could hear her breathing hard after that and suggested that she should probably just go lay down.
She agreed and said "Good night."
You have to find out what restaurant she ordered from and what she ordered so you can avoid that place.
Your friend Tyrese has a slight dilemma and wants to hear your take on his situation. He shares an apartment with his girlfriend Jaya in Queens, and for the most part things are going well, that was until last week. Jaya's cousin Tina came to visit and Tyrese and Tina got along for all of a minute. Jaya is a snob, and is constantly trying to belittle Tyrese, especially in front of her cousin Jaya.
Tyrese wants to tell her off so bad and kick her out of the apartment, but he is holding his tongue because after all that is Jaya's cousin. One day last week when Jaya went to work, Tina had gone to visit some other family in the city and came back to the apartment and found that it was just her and Tyrese there alone (Jaya was at work).
Tyrese figured that as long as he keep his distance and tried to be nice things would be okay. Tyrese even asked Jaya did she have anything to eat and if not would she like something? Instead of just answering the question,
Jaya got up in Tyrese's face and told him: "I don't know what my cousin sees in you?"
That was followed by her grabbing Tyrese's crotch and then taking off his pants.
Tyrese wanted to fight her off, but got excited by Tina's assault on him and he ended up sleeping with her.
He still wants to be with Jaya, but the sex with Tina was "mind blowing," and he wants to continue sleeping with her while she is here.
Tyrese wants to tell her off so bad and kick her out of the apartment, but he is holding his tongue because after all that is Jaya's cousin. One day last week when Jaya went to work, Tina had gone to visit some other family in the city and came back to the apartment and found that it was just her and Tyrese there alone (Jaya was at work).
Tyrese figured that as long as he keep his distance and tried to be nice things would be okay. Tyrese even asked Jaya did she have anything to eat and if not would she like something? Instead of just answering the question,
Jaya got up in Tyrese's face and told him: "I don't know what my cousin sees in you?"
That was followed by her grabbing Tyrese's crotch and then taking off his pants.
Tyrese wanted to fight her off, but got excited by Tina's assault on him and he ended up sleeping with her.
He still wants to be with Jaya, but the sex with Tina was "mind blowing," and he wants to continue sleeping with her while she is here.
You arrived a day early at the NABJ 2023 Convention (The National Association of Black Journalist, July 31 - Aug. 4, 2024) in Chicago, Illinois and was introduced to Shayna by your friend Elaine. You're staying at the "Peninsula," which unbeknownst to you is a very ritzy hotel (you have no idea, but your friends in "Low places" hooked you up).
You end up inviting Elaine and Shayna to dinner at the hotel and have a great time; however, Elaine reminds you that she has to get up early to attend a workshop and will probably met up with you later that evening for a special event. Shayna stays behind and wants to see your room.
Apparently, Shayna wants to see more than your room and likes it "Raw."
You end up inviting Elaine and Shayna to dinner at the hotel and have a great time; however, Elaine reminds you that she has to get up early to attend a workshop and will probably met up with you later that evening for a special event. Shayna stays behind and wants to see your room.
Apparently, Shayna wants to see more than your room and likes it "Raw."
You decided to go with your nieces and nephews on a trip to Aruba during Christmas of last year, and you just needed to purchase your plane ticket and have money available for food because you would be staying in a "time share" that your niece, Talia had invested in several years ago.
The last time you had visited Aruba was with an ex-girlfriend and you remember staying at "La Cabana Beach Resort," so being nostalgic you decided to go visit the property (it's an all inclusive resort). When you went to the front desk you explained that you had been a guest there several years ago and wanted to know if they could provide you with any information on time shares.
They asked you to wait a few minutes and that Ms. Anja Doshi would soon be available to answer your questions. Anja came to the front desk in about 5 minutes and explained that she was currently attending to another client and would be happy to provide you with more information if you left her a contact number and from there you could work out a convenient time for you both.
Anja called later that evening and wanted to know if 11:00 AM tomorrow would be a good time for you, and she was willing to come to your room.
Upon arriving you notice that Anja looked like she could be a Miss Universe contestant, and although you found her very attractive you needed to act disinterested.
Nevertheless, Anja laid out all the particulars regarding the time share and she could see that you were a bit reluctant to complete the transaction.
At that point, she put on the "Hard sell."
"Always Be Closing."
The last time you had visited Aruba was with an ex-girlfriend and you remember staying at "La Cabana Beach Resort," so being nostalgic you decided to go visit the property (it's an all inclusive resort). When you went to the front desk you explained that you had been a guest there several years ago and wanted to know if they could provide you with any information on time shares.
They asked you to wait a few minutes and that Ms. Anja Doshi would soon be available to answer your questions. Anja came to the front desk in about 5 minutes and explained that she was currently attending to another client and would be happy to provide you with more information if you left her a contact number and from there you could work out a convenient time for you both.
Anja called later that evening and wanted to know if 11:00 AM tomorrow would be a good time for you, and she was willing to come to your room.
Upon arriving you notice that Anja looked like she could be a Miss Universe contestant, and although you found her very attractive you needed to act disinterested.
Nevertheless, Anja laid out all the particulars regarding the time share and she could see that you were a bit reluctant to complete the transaction.
At that point, she put on the "Hard sell."
"Always Be Closing."
This is your coworker "Jane Chaudhary," originally from Georgetown, Guyana and she treats you like you are a son to her.
Her niece Karishma is moving to your sister and just got a job at Citibank (she will be living with Aunty Jane). Although, Jane doesn't have a photography of her niece she tells you that she is a very sweet girl and she thinks you would be a nice guy for her to date.
Are you open to the idea of taking her out sight unseen?
Oh, by the way, let's say this is Karishma.
Her niece Karishma is moving to your sister and just got a job at Citibank (she will be living with Aunty Jane). Although, Jane doesn't have a photography of her niece she tells you that she is a very sweet girl and she thinks you would be a nice guy for her to date.
Are you open to the idea of taking her out sight unseen?
Oh, by the way, let's say this is Karishma.