I need yall opinion on this..male and female

[Sampson]

Thats what Im saying. Shes too nice and trusting of muthafuckas. She cant tell a wolf from a lamb.

She should get an Oscar. Riddle me this. If she's such a nice person, she should've come to you at some point and told you the situation. Why would she look for some dirt on your phone unless you gave away a major red flag... Or (more likely) she's looking for damage control when her shit gets blown up.

I understand man. Love makes us all blind but you sometimes have to look at things logically and not through rose tinted glasses.

 

[woodchuck]

Thats what Im saying. Shes too nice and trusting of muthafuckas. She cant tell a wolf from a lamb.

That's not good, considering wolves like to dress up like lambs. On a side note, and I know that's not what you're doing, but your posts are reading like a ready made excuse that you might be willing to accept, if she gets caught doing dirt.

 

[Sampson]

I consented to the text thing because I wanted her to feel llike she had some control in telling him how it made her feel. I cant dominate her. That isnt what relationships are.

I'll keep it real. Nothing we say is going to make you think your girl is not the pristine, innocent, naive woman she portrays to me. All I can wish you is good luck. She has manipulated you well. Made it seem like she's a doe eyed happy go lucky girl who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Those are the ones you've got to watch. It's not about dominating her. She's the one who fucked up. After you caught her, she should've had NO say over how it was dealt with. The defendant being sentenced doesn't dictate to the judge how much time he's getting. You gave her a get out of jail card.

 

[woodchuck]

I consented to the text thing because I wanted her to feel llike she had some control in telling him how it made her feel. I cant dominate her. That isnt what relationships are.

Nah, playa. She had it, until you busted her. She was using that "control" not to tell you about it.

 

[woodchuck]

Awe man... no more responses from Ninja.

He's already in jail for Domestic Violence brehs. We're too late.

I just caught this! You's a fool!

 

[TimRock]

Bravo for bringing it to her attention. Her excuse is not something I personally would have bought, but then again, I don't know exactly what their texts wereabout. All I know is that she didn't stop texting him, after he made his advances.

 

[tallblacknyc]

Nah, playa. She had it, until you busted her. She was using that "control" not to tell you about it.

one min he didn't kno cokey pastor was asking for some jerk off material than the next min he was a 100 percent sure she didn't send him none..1 min he was naive now all of a sudden he mr sure.. this cokey pastor saga gets more interesting by the min

 

[TimRock]

I don't know if y'all are in love, but if she was, she wouldn't have kept this from you. A women in love has no problem telling her significant other about the dudes that try to holla at her. It could have been something that y'all both could laugh at. The fact she kept it hidden, says a lot about her.

What if it had been a younger dude that she was attracted to. This story would have went a different way.

 

[Database Error]

lmao at the cokey pastor..my man got a gloryhole in the confessional booth...telling broads "if u put saliva on this rod, it will get u closer to god"

Holy Shit...literally icb

 

[thighsneyez22]

Then She said she didnt address him asking for selfies because she thought it was her fault for making him come at her inappropriately like that. She is a very attractive female and she feels like she always somehow gets into a situation that makes her feel like shes done something wrong to have a guy come at her sideways. She has a bubbly personality and talks to people. She is a peoples person.

I'm a woman & I believe what she says is true. If she doesn't have the type of Father relationship that she would like in her own life or her daughter's, she probably didn't want to lose that relationship and all the time spent cultivating that.

As a woman, we are taught not to rock the boat or stir up commotion. Not only that, our lives often times revolve around maintaining a delicate balance in our social relationships. The mere thought of inadvertently causing (or acknowledging) upset in relationships with confrontation is often times paralyzing enough to have many women overlook disrespect and uncomfortable situations.

 

[tallblacknyc]

I don't know if y'all are in love, but if she was, she wouldn't have kept this from you. A women in love has no problem telling her significant other about the dudes that try to holla at her. It could have been something that y'all both could laugh at. The fact she kept it hidden, says a lot about her.

What if it had been a younger dude that she was attracted to. This story would have went a different way.

come on man..if ur chick said her former cokehead pastor was begging her for some jerk off material u'd prob start laughing ur ass off and be like what living color skit is that from..than she'd be like it's true and u'd be like u had a cokehead for a pastor..than u'd look and see a text from cokey like wear a g string and wear red pumps while bending over..u'd be like what kind of weird shit were u into b4 i met u whore

 

[NinjaspiT]

I brought that up about her not telling me, and she said its because I have "overeacted" in the past, and which I have overeacted a few times. So i understand that, but youre right and I do feel like my trust is a bit dented for t he fact that I had to find out on my own. But the fact that she didnt respond to his advances is what Im looking at. She just has issues and doesnt know how to deal with certain situations. And NO i would not be ok with catching her doing something. I would probably do something drastic.

 

[TimRock]

I brought that up about her not telling me, and she said its because I have "overeacted" in the past, and which I have overeacted a few times. So i understand that, but youre right and I do feel like my trust is a bit dented for t he fact that I had to find out on my own. But the fact that she didnt respond to his advances is what Im looking at. She just has issues and doesnt know how to deal with certain situations. And NO i would not be ok with catching her doing something. I would probably do something drastic.

You seem a little gullible. You are buying every excuse she gives you. I wish you luck. But open your eyes before it's too late

 

[NinjaspiT]

I'm a woman & I believe what she says is true. If she doesn't have the type of Father relationship that she would like in her own life or her daughter's, she probably didn't want to lose that relationship and all the time spent cultivating that.

As a woman, we are taught not to rock the boat or stir up commotion. Not only that, our lives often times revolve around maintaining a delicate balance in our social relationships. The mere thought of inadvertently causing (or acknowledging) upset in relationships with confrontation is often times paralyzing enough to have many women overlook disrespect and uncomfortable situations.

I can see that as well, but im still really angry that she couldnt atleast tell me. She found a text in my phone from a friend, who is a girl that i knew before we started dating. There was nothing malicious in the texting at all. I explained to her who she was etc and left it at that. But it seems like shes getting on me for things that she is already doing. And even when hoes hit me up, i tell her. She does not seem like the type to tell me these things. Is it because she likes the attention?

 

[cocobeauty]

Check her immediately (in a nice way though). It's 100% her fault, not the pastor. I would make her call him with the speaker on and make her tell him in front of you that he's not allowed to contact her ever again. Make sure she and the pastor knows who's boss. And mean that shit. If she ever talks to him again after that then bounce.

You don't have to be mean or bad when you do it. But you NEED to do it.

You can't be serious. Put them on speakerphone. If they want tosee reach other bad enough, they will.

 

[Sampson]

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's your fault for overreacting to things."

"Why is he texting you?"

"It's my fault for leading him on."

Somehow to coke head philandering pastor is made to look like the inncocent party in this and no one sees anything wrong with this picture?

Give me strength.

 

[cocobeauty]

@NinjaspiT do you get angry easily and show it?

 

[NinjaspiT]

@NinjaspiT do you get angry easily and show it?

TBH, yes I do when it comes to her. Because I love her.

 

[thighsneyez22]

I brought that up about her not telling me, and she said its because I have "overeacted" in the past, and which I have overeacted a few times. So i understand that, but youre right and I do feel like my trust is a bit dented for t he fact that I had to find out on my own. But the fact that she didnt respond to his advances is what Im looking at.

Good thing that you guys were able to communicate these things to each other.

I say just watch her. Before you write her off, wait for a pattern to emerge.

Also, it seems like you all have not discussed how you both expect the other to respond to advances from the opposite sex. Without that clear boundary laid out, you guys are having to play everything by ear.

If you expect her to talk to you about advances she gets, make that clear. If she wants you to calm down when she tells you about the advances of of others, she needs to make that clear.

 

[Sampson]

TBH, yes I do when it comes to her. Because I love her.

Bruh..... just to get some context, how old are you, your girl and the pastor?

 

[thighsneyez22]

TBH, yes I do when it comes to her. Because I love her.

Its really good that you can admit this.

How has this anger served to bring you closer to her? Did her expectation of your anger bring you both closer?

 

[NinjaspiT]

we are both in our mid twenties. The pastor is probably late 30's early 40's

 

[Sampson]

we are both in our mid twenties. The pastor is probably late 30's early 40's

Ah... Ok. It all makes sense now. Not to be condescending but you've got a lot to learn. We've all had to learn the hard way.

All I'm going say is, don't ruin your life over her. It may not seem like it now but whatever happens, you'll look back at this years on and be happy at the wisdom you gained from this.

 

[tallblacknyc]

TBH, yes I do when it comes to her. Because I love her.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh man for some reason i read this like some dude hiding in the closet with an axe at 3am...not kidding it was kinda scary..especially u saying doin something drastic various times in this thread

 

[baboss2212]

You seem a little gullible. You are buying every excuse any gives you. I wish you look. But open your eyes before it's too late

He's right ya know

 

[NinjaspiT]

Its really good that you can admit this.

How has this anger served to bring you closer to her? Did her expectation of your anger bring you both closer?

I see where youre going with this, and no it didnt bring us closer. It sort of did because the makeup sex was good. but beyond that, she said she felt like she couldnt trust telling me shit. I told her that I would make an effort to reverse her perception of that. But now, it seems like both of our trusts are dented in some way. None of which is unfixable imo.

 

[Sampson]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh man for some reason i read this like some dude hiding in the closet with an axe at 3am...not kidding it was kinda scary..especially u saying doin something drastic various times in this thread

Man, I already warned him not to ruin his life over her. He's seems like the kinda guy to commit homicide over her, that's not a good look.

 

[cocobeauty]

TBH, yes I do when it comes to her. Because I love her.

Love or not, if she can't come to you without your blowing up, she'll turn to someone else to talk to and I always say everything starts with a conversation. If you really love her try to get that under control because you'll scare her and you don't want her afraid of you.

 

[baboss2212]

Op went out like a sucka

 

[NinjaspiT]

Nah im not that dude,trust me. I feel like when you are interested in someone, you put all of your heart into the relationship. I love her, and im not afraid to commit to the cause. Im not afraid to give all of myself.

When I say drastic, maybe i shouldve chosen a better word. Im a peaceful dude overall.

 

[Capo]

Shorty needs to take responsibility for HER actions. Check your bitch dawg.

why be mad at the pastor? he has no relationship with you to respect your relationship.

 

[DipsetBi7ch]

Yeah, we need more info on your relationship before we can comment. Possibly some homegrown just to make sure.

 

[baboss2212]

Maybe u jus think she is Fine as wine. Prolly think u can't do better than her. And u r willing to put up wit a lot of shit. Grown women in this day and age are not that naive.

 

[tallblacknyc]

Man, I already warned him not to ruin his life over her. He's seems like the kinda guy to commit homicide over her, that's not a good look.

yep... key words do something drastic repeatedly... girl saying he's overreacted various times... that whole love word... dude said it's a "new" relationship... dude said they still learning about each other... so how are u so in love already especially with somebody u kinda hardly kno or still learning about.. treat her like a "new" job that ur on probation with.. there's a chance u mite lose it or it mite not be a job u wanna stay with forever..go day by day don't make longterm arrangements with something brand "new"

 

[Sampson]

Nah im not that dude,trust me. I feel like when you are interested in someone, you put all of your heart into the relationship. I love her, and im not afraid to commit to the cause. Im not afraid to give all of myself.

When I say drastic, maybe i shouldve chosen a better word. Im a peaceful dude overall.

Man. Whatever you take from this thread and what I say, please believe me when I say these words: NEVER GIVE ALL OF YOURSELF TO A WOMAN.

If anyone else tells you otherwise, they're either a woman or a simp. I'm not saying you should never love your woman, I love mine but she has 90% of me. Never give her everything. Once she knows she has you at her mercy, she'll punk you and you won't even realise it. She'll take your manhood before you can do anything about it.

It seems like you love her more than she loves you and that's the worst thing that could happen. Trust me.

Just for future reference, never put yourself in that situation again.