I need yall opinion on this..male and female

[thighsneyez22]

You are already on the right path my brother by reaching out for help for perspective then reaching back to your mate. Just keep walking toward the light of true open & controlled communication with your girl and nothing can stop you both.

Love or not, if she can't come to you without your blowing up, she'll turn to someone else to talk to and I always say everything starts with a conversation. If you really love her try to get that under control because you'll scare her and you don't want her afraid of you.

/end of thread

 

[NinjaspiT]

Maybe u jus think she is Fine as wine. Prolly think u can't do better than her. And u r willing to put up wit a lot of shit. Grown women in this day and age are not that naive.

Im not that weak. Truth be told, if we break up, itll be HER loss. But when I commit myself to anything, I have tunnel vision. And I have committed myself to loving her unconditionally. I dont look at other females and gauge whether or not they are better because Im in a relationship already. This is my plan A. I dont have plan b's or c's

 

[tallblacknyc]

Nah im not that dude,trust me. I feel like when you are interested in someone, you put all of your heart into the relationship. I love her, and im not afraid to commit to the cause. Im not afraid to give all of myself.

When I say drastic, maybe i shouldve chosen a better word. Im a peaceful dude overall.

so how long u've known this girl??? how long have ya been messing with each other??? how long have ya been serious???

 

[baboss2212]

Im not that weak. Truth be told, if we break up, itll be HER loss. But when I commit myself to anything, I have tunnel vision. And I have committed myself to loving her unconditionally. I dont look at other females and gauge whether or not they are better because Im in a relationship already. This is my plan A. I dont have plan b's or c's

Famo...always have a plan b and c. Right now u are giving her all the power.
I'm married been married for 10 yrs...been wit her 15. Never relinquished ur power. If it's her lost, act that way. Even if u bluffing.

 

[baboss2212]

U r the naive one.

 

[Capo]

Man. Whatever you take from this thread and what I say, please believe me when I say these words: NEVER GIVE ALL OF YOURSELF TO A WOMAN.

If anyone else tells you otherwise, they're either a woman or a simp. I'm not saying you should never love your woman, I love mine but she has 90% of me. Never give her everything. Once she knows she has you at her mercy, she'll punk you and you won't even realise it. She'll take your manhood before you can do anything about it.

It seems like you love her more than she loves you and that's the worst thing that could happen. Trust me.

Just for future reference, never put yourself in that situation again.

This is important advice that I learned the hard way! Listen

 

[cocobeauty]

I disagree with her taking his manhood because he's fully committed. I always think women lose themselves in relationships because by the time they are married and have kids, that's her only focus even if she has a career, her focus remains on making him/them happy and next thing you know...you're no longer doing things for yourself.

I will say you give what she's giving, if she's not all in...why should you be, but if you're yelling, controlling, and threatening her, expect her to soon be gone. The scariest thing in the world is to be afraid of the person you love.

If this is new you both are working on knowing each other and it's not going to always be easy, but let her know that cheating is not an option and if yall going through each others phones, be prepared, or just ask what is going on if you see something you don't understand.

 

[thighsneyez22]

The scariest thing in the world is to be afraid of the person you love.

I concur. Don't be that guy.

 

[J.E.T.S]

Thats what Im saying. Shes too nice and trusting of muthafuckas. She cant tell a wolf from a lamb.

My girl us the exact same way. Is your girl a Pisces? ... those some overly friendly but crazy muhfuckas ..

 

[tallblacknyc]

My girl us the exact same way. Is your girl a Pisces? ... those some overly friendly but crazy muhfuckas ..

lol u got that rite.. way to friendly and naive.. but can suck a good dick and lets u put it in any hole..one of my longtime cut buddies is a pisces..yeah she kinda got a crazy side i juss change the subject when she start yapping about nothing

 

[BronxBomber]

Man. Whatever you take from this thread and what I say, please believe me when I say these words: NEVER GIVE ALL OF YOURSELF TO A WOMAN.

If anyone else tells you otherwise, they're either a woman or a simp. I'm not saying you should never love your woman, I love mine but she has 90% of me. Never give her everything. Once she knows she has you at her mercy, she'll punk you and you won't even realise it. She'll take your manhood before you can do anything about it.

It seems like you love her more than she loves you and that's the worst thing that could happen. Trust me.

Just for future reference, never put yourself in that situation again.

This brother has it. Im not sure your age or upbringing, financial situation etc. You are setting yourself up for a HUGE heartache. Your lady is not as gullible as she portrays.. You can not control a woman, or anybody for that matter. She will figure out a way to still talk with him. I have a pastors wife now texting me, sending me nudes on the regular....... He confronted her and because of what he is doing or has done she like thats my friend. Which we are and I have not hit but I could at a moments notice.....

Im not saying just leave her what Im saying is continue on with your life. Address it. However you want to and then move on. Leave or stay. You are wasting precious moments in life worrying if your lady is sending selfies... BTW she is.... Or has....

What I would do. "Yo, I don't like XYZ if you do that again we have to talk about the long term commitment we made to each other" My brother grab your balls and put them on the table. She will either say Im sorry and be remorseful or say F--- You and keep it moving. Either way your mind she make its way to peace.

DO NOT LISTEN to the women on this board... Please... No disrespect to them but they are speaking from the other side.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I can say this same shit and be called a man hating feminist lol. Relationships in this age, with these people don't work. MGTOW is the answer for you dudes. Disregard females acquire currency.

 

[thighsneyez22]

What I would do. "Yo, I don't like XYZ if you do that again we have to talk about the long term commitment we made to each other" My brother grab your balls and put them on the table. She will either say Im sorry and be remorseful or say F--- You and keep it moving. Either way your mind she make its way to peace.

We agree on this.

 

[BronxBomber]

I can say this same shit and be called a man hating feminist lol. Relationships in this age, with these people don't work. MGTOW is the answer for you dudes. Disregard females acquire currency.

In his context yes. If you read his post he sounds like a puppy. If you are focusing your attention on your gf who is having text conversations with her ex drug addict pastor who is asking for selfie, yes he needs a new direction.. The fact that they are going through each others phones without each others permission is very problematic.

He will never lose a REAL woman when he driven by his goals to be a better man and create a legacy. How much time should he spend on fixing something that he can't fix? If she doesnt see the problem with what she is doing, she is not the one and he is not the one for him.

I know the women on the board are being sympathetic but most of the men have been here already and speak from experience that you can not experience. I can never speak on having a baby or menstrual cycle. You can't speak from a Black mans eyes only a woman. Respectfully speaking he needs a brothers, fathers, or uncles insight not a woman.

My sister this is all said with respect please do not read with any malice.

 

[J.E.T.S]

TBH, yes I do when it comes to her. Because I love her.

You're going to jail. Get ready.

Don't bring your ass back here with no crocodile tears saying that we were right either.

lol u got that rite.. way to friendly and naive.. but can suck a good dick and lets u put it in any hole..one of my longtime cut buddies is a pisces..yeah she kinda got a crazy side i juss change the subject when she start yapping about nothing

Bingo.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

In his context yes. If you read his post he sounds like a puppy. If you are focusing your attention on your gf who is having text conversations with her ex drug addict pastor who is asking for selfie, yes he needs a new direction.. The fact that they are going through each others phones without each others permission is very problematic.

He will never lose a REAL woman when he driven by his goals to be a better man and create a legacy. How much time should he spend on fixing something that he can't fix? If she doesnt see the problem with what she is doing, she is not the one and he is not the one for him.

I know the women on the board are being sympathetic but most of the men have been here already and speak from experience that you can not experience. I can never speak on having a baby or menstrual cycle. You can't speak from a Black mans eyes only a woman. Respectfully speaking he needs a brothers, fathers, or uncles insight not a woman.

My sister this is all said with respect please do not read with any malice.

All that stress? For what? Be single. Relationships are BAD. We are black in a euro system. This is not how we're supposed to be. This line of thinking? Is not good. Not romantic attachments. Keep shit strictly friendly. Fuck who you want. Get rid of the idea of possessing people.

I'm telling ya. Less stress. Leave women be. Sex and go about making YOUR life as PLEASANT as you desire.

By the bye... No beef at all taken. You spoke your mind like an adult. Man how can i get mad at that?

 

[BronxBomber]

All that stress? For what? Be single. Relationships are BAD. We are black in a euro system. This is not how we're supposed to be. This line of thinking? Is not good. Not romantic attachments. Keep shit strictly friendly. Fuck who you want. Get rid of the idea of possessing people.

I'm telling ya. Less stress. Leave women be. Sex and go about making YOUR life as PLEASANT as you desire.

If thats what you read then so be it. Im saying that this particular woman may not be ready for what he is looking for. He should not have to check her for what she is doing. She shouldn't be doing it. Relationships are great when they are healthy. He is on a predominantly Black male forum expressing his issue. Its more then likely even BIGGER then we see. By the time a most brothers gets to the point to bring it to BGOL, its worse then what he is expressing. Im saying get his life, career, business, etc in order. Along the way he will find a woman who will honor him and not sit up text with a an 'ex pastor'/. That sounds nuts. When I was committed to my last gf, she could pick up and answer the phone with my biz tag line anyway. I encouraged it. When things she did did not jive with my future it was a discussion. We disagreed and we are both pursuing other endeavors. Thats life but why should this brother be stressed over this?

All said respectfully since everything you just said had nothing to do with what I said.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

If thats what you read then so be it. Im saying that this particular woman may not be ready for what he is looking for. He should not have to check her for what she is doing. She shouldn't be doing it. Relationships are great when they are healthy. He is on a predominantly Black male forum expressing his issue. Its more then likely even BIGGER then we see. By the time a most brothers gets to the point to bring it to BGOL, its worse then what he is expressing. Im saying get his life, career, business, etc in order. Along the way he will find a woman who will honor him and not sit up text with a an 'ex pastor'/. That sounds nuts. When I was committed to my last gf, she could pick up and answer the phone with my biz tag line anyway. I encouraged it. When things she did did not jive with my future it was a discussion. We disagreed and we are both pursuing other endeavors. Thats life but why should this brother be stressed over this?

All said respectfully since everything you just said had nothing to do with what I said.

I think it did. But that's totally cool. I say get his life in order. How are we saying different? I'm saying drop relationships with women altogether. So he can focus ENTIRELY on his own self.

 

[BronxBomber]

I think it did. But that's totally cool. I say get his life in order. How are we saying different? I'm saying drop relationships with women altogether. So he can focus ENTIRELY on his own self.

Oh my fault my sister I must have read it wrong.

 

[woodchuck]

You're going to jail. Get ready.

Don't bring your ass back here with no crocodile tears saying that we were right either.

"...and then he turned the gun on himself. Police are calling it a murder/suicide."

 

[Osca Lee]

We've all been where you and your girl is at before....and all of us wasnt at the level we are at now...we have to get hurt and learn not to allow people to run game and fuck over us.

You must keep it real...even you may not think it wasnt anything you did communicate with an ex....not cool player..you must understand women who are into their man have a special sense that kicks in when it comes to another woman invading their space with that man and that is why she went through your phone. Cant be allowing ol hoes you fucked and it didnt work out to come in and become part of your new life and relationship.

Da Preacher.... like the others said...something has went on between the 2.... im not gonna go into no long ass ol uncle Osca Lee wisdom rant....but what i will tell you is this...

Tell her to end all communication with that rotten mf....if she dont then you need to exit with grace

 

[NinjaspiT]

Thanks for the advice. We both didnt have a father figure growing up and so I attribute most of her actions to that. The thing with this pastor is that, she says he NEVER exhibited anything that would cause her to think that he was trying to get at her. When he texted her that, it was from way left field according to her. Which is why she said she thought she had done something wrong and was embarrassed by it. I really think she truly has /had no idea. Im in school getting my degree soon, and I have a lot of admirable qualities. I have always wanted one woman by my side, which is why I am content with working things out and discussing things. I have nothing to hide, and neither does she. She gave me her password to her phone and computer a long time ago. I really just think its a result of her really not knowing and possibly an ego boost. She is the type of female that grew up without getting much male attention until she blossomed into a beautiful woman. Now the tables have turned, and i do not think she knows how to deal with the attention.

 

[thighsneyez22]

Respectfully speaking he needs a brothers, fathers, or uncles insight not a woman.

I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I will bite.
The OP specifically asked for the perspective of women in the title. Usually, I know you guys like to do your barbershop thing and I just like to observe, but at the OPs behest, I replied.

I do respect your opinion that a woman's opinion should not matter to the OP, but the thread title says something different.

I believe that truth is found in a multitude of counsel.

@BronxBomber sorry that you have had some issues in your past relationship with trust. Hopefully that experience has served to illuminate dishonest women in your path the future. However, It is important that the OP make his own decision with his eyes wide open based on this situation and his limits.

One issue does not a pattern make. It could just be that the girl did not know her options. Now, she knows how to act should the same issue come up again so she has no excuse.

 

[Osca Lee]

Thanks for the advice. We both didnt have a father figure growing up and so I attribute most of her actions to that. The thing with this pastor is that, she says he NEVER exhibited anything that would cause her to think that he was trying to get at her. When he texted her that, it was from way left field according to her. Which is why she said she thought she had done something wrong and was embarrassed by it. I really think she truly has /had no idea. Im in school getting my degree soon, and I have a lot of admirable qualities. I have always wanted one woman by my side, which is why I am content with working things out and discussing things. I have nothing to hide, and neither does she. She gave me her password to her phone and computer a long time ago. I really just think its a result of her really not knowing and possibly an ego boost. She is the type of female that grew up without getting much male attention until she blossomed into a beautiful woman. Now the tables have turned, and i do not think she knows how to deal with the attention.

your normal isnt her normal....

 

[woodchuck]

Thanks for the advice. We both didnt have a father figure growing up and so I attribute most of her actions to that. The thing with this pastor is that, she says he NEVER exhibited anything that would cause her to think that he was trying to get at her. When he texted her that, it was from way left field according to her. Which is why she said she thought she had done something wrong and was embarrassed by it. I really think she truly has /had no idea. Im in school getting my degree soon, and I have a lot of admirable qualities. I have always wanted one woman by my side, which is why I am content with working things out and discussing things. I have nothing to hide, and neither does she. She gave me her password to her phone and computer a long time ago. I really just think its a result of her really not knowing and possibly an ego boost. She is the type of female that grew up without getting much male attention until she blossomed into a beautiful woman. Now the tables have turned, and i do not think she knows how to deal with the attention.

That, my pedigree chum, is called "the game". The red part is why you didn't know about. It all starts with "a cup of coffee".

Lesson: A feeling of guilt leads to compliance.

 

[playahaitian]

BGOL Dilemma: The Disfellowship

http://www.bgol.us/forum/index.php?threads/bgol-dilemma-the-disfellowship.804790/

 

[jasonblacc]

So OP, your girl has a stalker in her EX ( from previous thread) and she might have a thing for your pastor? Man if you don't leave this chick asap.

 

[NinjaspiT]

I agree that a conclusion should come from an equal perspective of both male and female. I appreciate all of the responses.

 

[playahaitian]

At which the pastor responded immediately with a:' " Oh! im sorry, i never meant to make you feel that way. I just missed your face and i never meant anything by it." -_-

told ya...

 

[BDR]

So OP, your girl has a stalker in her EX ( from previous thread) and she might have a thing for your pastor? Man if you don't leave this chick asap.

Damn, ninjaspit what's the real story with your lady bruh? This shit ain't a good look on her part

 

[mrbillcollecta]

Did you check her Instagram DMs or facebook messenger. Thats the drop spots nowadays....

 

[BronxBomber]

I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I will bite.
The OP specifically asked for the perspective of women in the title. Usually, I know you guys like to do your barbershop thing and I just like to observe, but at the OPs behest, I replied.

I do respect your opinion that a woman's opinion should not matter to the OP, but the thread title says something different.

I believe that truth is found in a multitude of counsel.

@BronxBomber sorry that you have had some issues in your past relationship with trust. Hopefully that experience has served to illuminate dishonest women in your path the future. However, It is important that the OP make his own decision with his eyes wide open based on this situation and his limits.

One issue does not a pattern make. It could just be that the girl did not know her options. Now, she knows how to act should the same issue come up again so she has no excuse.

I suggested what I thought. That he needs male opinion not women. I dig it that he asked for women but as I was saying earlier a woman asking a man about what it feels like to pregnant is not nearly as valuable as hearing it from women. Everyones opinion should be respected but their are something ONLY men can provide insight on. I believe this to be one of them.

We have all had issues with our relationships. Im not scorned or in a He-Mans woman hater club but I feel as an older brother, Im assuming the OP is 20-30 somewhere elder brothers should give him some jewels.. I have 3 mentors now that kick my ass (Mentally) when Im talking against real experience. All of them more successful then I am and all of them married. Brothers do not get right and exact tutelage from other brothers. Sisters normally have a network that provides that we sometimes miss that.

I agree with the last statement although I still hold true that if he is here, there is way more going on then he alludes too. One issue normally doesnt get brothers out here on the main board know the ridicule they could face......

But I dig it, you are completely correct he asked for both opinions.

Respectfully stated.

 

[playahaitian]

This is what had me bugging. If I'm responding, I'm texting my shit! How you gon' have a ghostwriter to respond to another dude stepping to your broad?

 

[thighsneyez22]

I really just think its a result of her really not knowing and possibly an ego boost. She is the type of female that grew up without getting much male attention until she blossomed into a beautiful woman. Now the tables have turned, and i do not think she knows how to deal with the attention.

This takes an evolved man to pickup on & understand. You might have to talk this through with her.

Those of us who are late bloomers can use it for good or evil. If you see her running to the dark side- abort abort.

Let her know what commitment looks like to you and stick to that.

A woman is not responsible for the men that come on to her. She is responsible for how she reacts to those advances after you both have worked out how you both should respond to flirting & advances.

 

[Osca Lee]

That, my pedigree chum, is called "the game". The red part is why you didn't know about. It all starts with "a cup of coffee".

Lesson: A feeling of guilt leads to compliance.

bro you fucks some brain activity up with this one